Hooking-Up? Biblical Tips for Teens

Gospel Hope in Hookup Culture

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Pornography and the sexualization of all-things-women creates false expectations. You need a real, broken man and a real, broken woman to complete it.

At best, the selflessness is one-sided. Tenderness ultimately leads to the most loving, mutually satisfying outcome. There were mountain peaks, wild animals—a romantic ferocity, a passion taking place. They were being transported! This was one of those. They felt swept away. The passion was so great that this sex became about more than sex and physical gratification. It became the culmination and the means of something greater, something beyond themselves. It was awash with glory, not about urges but unction. When you read Song of Solomon 4: He was comparing her body to something no one had ever seen before, something beautiful and valuable and unique—all using other things he loved, cared about, and invested in.

The freedom of the marriage bed is seen here to be a correlation of, for instance, entering the Holy of Holies after being forbidden access for so long.

You are not perfect. Throughout Song of Solomon, the attraction is mutual. I agree that those who did not grow up in the church may have to unlearn values that are contrary to Scripture; but I also believe that some who grew up inside the church need to realize that maintaining the status quo does not per se equal godliness. After all, Bathsheba was married. Comments Solomon is a poor choice for an example. Christians need to talk more about the enjoyment of sex in marriage so that the world will see the beauty and freedom we have in the secure relationship of being one physically, emotionally and spiritually!

Sex is an earthly pleasure—but it points us to something other-worldly. Matt says that in Jewish tradition, the north wind represents strength and the south wind represents gentleness. And it can remind us that men desire for their wives to desire them too. Matt goes on to say that he believes intimacy issues often result from one spouse being unable to reciprocate this desire. This inability to reciprocate, he believes, comes from a distorted understanding of sex—when one spouse sees it as dirty, forbidden, or still somehow sinful which could be the result of past sexual sin or trauma.

But I think the inability to reciprocate desire can just as often stem from a different lack of reciprocation.

How to Hook Up God’s Way

If men and women do in fact naturally enjoy sex in different ways, and we are more likely to naturally do what feels good to us, that could drastically change how your spouse understands you when you say that you want to have sex. Throughout Song of Solomon, the attraction is mutual. The passion is mutual. The sexual fulfillment is mutual.

Each spouse is pleasing and being pleased. At the end of their time together, Solomon and his bride were full—or rather, drunk Song of Solomon 5: They feasted, and they were satisfied. Lust always wants more.

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Sooner or later, it collapses along with the broken people left in its wake. Lust steers us towards a desire for more, but without the emotional and spiritual commitment of marriage—without love—it cannot serve the purpose it was designed for. It cannot lead us to the moment when we are full. If he gives you a gift, he wants you to enjoy it as it is designed to be enjoyed, which will ultimately lead to your satisfaction—not only with the gift itself but also with himself as the Giver.

Ideals are a double-edged sword. We need his help. You are not perfect.

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Your spouse is not perfect. A single blog post can hardly cover everything the Bible says about sex. Matt and his wife Lauren are also hosting The Mingling of Souls Marriage Conference to discuss the content of the book in the context of their marriage. You can stream the conference as a couple, as a small group, or even as an entire church with a single ticket purchase. Get your ticket today. Solomon is a poor choice for an example.

I guess I need to closely study "Song of Solomon. We tend to appear perfect before men but God knows our flaws and shortcomings. I personnally think that it was done on purpose to teach us a lesson and better to teach us humility. Solomon deserves all the importance he was given in the Bible because his story is part of the divine plan for humankind.

Sex does not fulfill. Even Solomon figures that out.

Only took him a thousand sexual partners to find out. I agree with what the Bible teaches and what is mentioned here. Unfortunately, I have found that establishing meaningful relationships- much less marriage, sex and Lord willing raising a family- are NOT wanted unless you are one of those "good" people who happened to grow up in the church. I guess that means they only want the lifers to be holy… Shoot, even pagans marry, have families and get the support of their peers as well… I'll stop there.

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Thank you for this blog, brethren. Though this may not the exact sayings in the bible, I am so sure, it can help: Would have solved a few hassles. Taking a walk, or surrounding yourself with a busy task can help take your mind off of what your body is wanting. God wants us to experience things that feel good. He desires for us to experience ultimate pleasure, but it is only in marriage that we can truly experience the pleasure God has designed.

Satan really gets us good when it comes to lust and pleasure. Believe it or not, they have a lot of wisdom and advice of their own on this very subject. Some of you may be carrying around guilt, embarrassment, or a feeling of being unworthy. Satan likes to entice us with pleasures of the flesh and then make us feel shame when we give into those temptations.

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God will welcome you with open arms and accept you — He gives us the ultimate pleasure of experiencing a relationship with Him. Trust in the Lord and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.

7 Things the Bible Says about Sex

Will you be willing to trust the Lord with your future relationships and make a commitment to purity from this point forward? Moms, would you be willing to ask your teen what hooking up means to them? Facilitate an open and honest discussion about the pressures that hooking up can bring in a relationship. If you feel comfortable, sharing your own experiences can be helpful. She is on fire for the Lord and loves ministering to teens and women. She thrives on encouraging women to fall in love with Jesus and is passionate about them discovering their God-given gifts and calling. She especially has a heart for women in leadership and equipping them to serve in God's Kingdom.

Amanda lives in North Carolina with her husband and two little girls. Visit Amanda at her blog, Give Her Grace: Your email address will not be published. Enter your email to get access to the R. Scripture Study Method plus receive our weekly email full of practical encouragement. Craving mentorship and spiritual growth? Join Our Facebook Group. Meet Elisa Is it Lisa or Elisa? First, what defines hooking up?