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Fix-It is hardwired into our genes or drummed into our skulls, but this is one stereotype that holds true across the board. Psychologists, social workers, medical doctors, breast cancer survivors, and, of course, breast cancer husbands all agree.
Guys feel compelled to "fix" cancer. We want to take it on at the basketball hoop, one on one. We want to pull out a six-shooter and start firing away. Perhaps that's why we judge ourselves harshly as cancer caregivers. No husband can defeat cancer. Ergo, we've failed to protect our wives. It's a horrible feeling of utter helplessness. Paul Byers, a journalism professor from Washington, D. But I can't take on the real issue itself. But that doesn't mean the spouse is indeed helpless. Carol needed her husband, Phil Gay, to be there with her.
Not to solve her problems or to conquer cancer, but to stand by her side and to accept her as she was. He was always there to hold me if I needed to be held or to talk to me if I needed to talk.
I was very grateful for that. We want to go out and pick up a gun and shoot breast cancer. But the biggest thing men need to do is show that we care.
Breast Cancer Husband: How to Help Your Wife (and Yourself) during Diagnosis, Treatment and Beyond: Medicine & Health Science Books. Your Wife (and Yourself) Through Diagnosis, Treatment, and Beyond BREAST CANCER HUSBAND: How to Help Your Wife and Yourself Through Diagnosis been diagnosed with breast cancer, as was his wife, Marsha, in Silver also smartly examines the various treatments and suggests.
Carol remembers coming home from the hospital with "bulbs and things" hanging from her armpit incision and feeling as if she were a weird-looking Christmas tree. Not advice, not a miracle, not a Mr. A witness -- not a judge.
David had other caregiver lessons to learn. One time after Cathy's chemo, David's son from a previous marriage had soccer practice. He said to Cathy, "Since you are going to sleep, is it okay if I watch soccer practice? Silly as it may seem, that bothered David. It bothered him that he wasn't so important that he had to be by Cathy's side every second of the day. Independent Women Your wife, meanwhile, may have a difficult time switching gears from caregiver to care receiver.
That womanly self-sufficiency can be disastrous, as Carol Stevenson is only too happy to tell you. The evening after her first chemotherapy treatment, she ate a light dinner that Phil had prepared. Phil retreated to the den to watch a football game. He checked on her at one point, and she seemed to be asleep. After an hour or so, he heard the toilet flush.
Then he heard it flush again. By the time he picked it up, he could hear Carol talking to her doctor. When I spoke with Phil, who's 68, it was 4 years after that night of nausea.
But he remembers exactly what he said to Carol: Every husband out there support a wife with breast cancer needs this book! I can't begin to tell you how much it may hurt to not know some of the info in here. I bought about 5 books immediately after being diagnosed with breast cancer. I had hoped my husband would read it and glean a bit of knowlledge to our upcoming battle. Alas he did not and he moved out after 16 yrs of marriage a year after my treatments. My battle was just too much for him to handle.
I read this book before donating it to Every husband out there support a wife with breast cancer needs this book! I read this book before donating it to the local library. I cried, knowing had he read it, he would have had a better grasp and maybe our marriage would have survived. I hope all the men who read this give their wives the support they will need to win this battle. I won my battle 7 yrs ago and counting! Oct 17, Cara added it Shelves: A lot of people on Amazon said this was a really great book, and although it's not exactly applicable to my situation, I thought it might generalize.
No, I'm not a husband or even a guy, but I am a person who has a hard time saying the right thing or knowing what to do to help people. No, my loved one does not have breast cancer, but he does have another cancer. I figured I could just consider it a guidebook for louts whose significant others have cancer, and take what I could from it. Surprisin A lot of people on Amazon said this was a really great book, and although it's not exactly applicable to my situation, I thought it might generalize. Surprisingly little transfers, though, and reading it was generally inspiring feelings of guilt and despair.
I guess men and women are more different than I thought.
Jul 24, David rated it it was amazing. A close friend who recently fought this battle recommended this book, saying her fiance found it very helpful. For any guy whose girlfriend, fiance, or wife is facing breast cancer, I would highly recommend it as well. When the woman you love is diagnosed, there's a lot that comes at you really fast. This book provides answers to questions--including those you may be afraid to ask--as well as ones you didn't even know you had.
Packed with resources, this is a book you're going to want to refer t A close friend who recently fought this battle recommended this book, saying her fiance found it very helpful. Packed with resources, this is a book you're going to want to refer to again and again as you and your girlfriend, wife, or wife-to-be walk this path--one you never choose to be on--together. Patty Far rated it it was amazing Apr 26, Patty Chang rated it it was amazing Sep 24, Drew rated it it was amazing Jan 31, Patti rated it really liked it Aug 25, Nicholas rated it really liked it Jan 04, Tim rated it really liked it May 07, Michele Davis rated it it was amazing Feb 12, Nicole Lopez rated it really liked it Dec 30, Karen rated it it was amazing Apr 27, E rated it it was amazing Feb 25, Ginger rated it it was amazing Nov 21, Micah Ewing rated it really liked it Aug 08, Robin Robinson rated it it was amazing Apr 24, Chris Griffes rated it it was amazing Jul 26,