Contents:
Reeyan , February 24, 5: I accidentally came across this post, but I got the answers I needed. I choose to love my spouse, regardless of what happened or happens, however long it takes. People may say I'm stupid like some of them already do but I know this is what I need to do right now. Sherrym , February 18, 2: I thought that way too. Just make sure he is putting in effort to make the marriage work. After 20 years, I realized that. Now 12 years divorced, I couldn't be happier. He's back with his mom being raised. But b4 love is meant jst to help our fellow human in terms of needs.
Yes luv is as simple as luv people around u as u luv ur self. Love is not a difficult thing,we make it look complicated due 2 what we do 2 each other. Love is a choice, do or die because it is very difficult to share your heart with someone who can easily break it? It is caring, sharing, emotional nature, though its blind. Who really can explain love? It is just the most powerful feeling that words only describe a small part of it!
We will all eventually feel love, but really, how can one explain it as simple as this!? Loving someone,to me, is like putting one's life on the line. Love is giving someone the opprotunity to break your heart, but trusting them not to. Love is watching tons of romantic movies and thinking what you've got is still better. I see LOVE as an attachment that results from deeply appreciating another's goodness. Love is when you have a deep desire to see them and you care about there feelings and love them for nothing in return. Love is a great thing and can change the person you are but be careful who you pick for your life partner because thy can hurt you the most.
Love is when you can love someone and not expect anything in return. You love that person no matter what. My dad told me that nothing I can ever do or say can make him stop lovingme. Now that is a deep love. Love is the feelings u get whn u r with d right person, some kind of attachment nd comittement will comes in.
I appreciate ur write up nd i pray for those who does not have true love to find one. Am bless with true lov. This was a great read: I myself am a highschooler, and most of my friends, and pretty much everyone else I know that is around my age, has the same misconception about love that you mentioned. If everyone would just read your article and realize that love really is a choice, I have the distinct feeling that more relationships would have a happy ending: Love is magical and is a wonderful thing.
A state of mind that makes one feels good. Love consumes your enteir being,when it's giveing you courage. Even if my heart is numb. LOVE is life for every people Without LOVE nobody can live Always support to LOVE LOVE is always comes from our heart David , January 14, 2: When She is with me, I feel contented, happy, completed; When She is not, I miss her, counting the moments when we are together again.
I tell Her that She doesn't give me enough huggies, kisses and love to sustain me through the day in reality, She does I am 65 yo, married to my husband for 38 years. When I met him, I appreciated 5 things in him: After a few dates, I noticed he was also very clean about his appearance and was a serious hard worker. The final straw was when my friend who introduced us told me how much Barry loved his father and called him up every single day. That sealed his fate with me. What more could I ask?
I was very patient, waited 4 years for him to finally buckle but my undying belief that I was the only girl who would make him happy, made the wait bearable. I convinced him through my kindness, understanding and tolerance of his weaknesses. I was and still am mindful of his feelings even today. I am not afraid to admit my faults, and taught him with great effort to admit his as well. It has been a labor of love for the past 38 years and 4 children, but the results speak for themselves.
He never tires of telling me that I am the best thing that ever happened to him, and shudders at the idea that I could have walked away at one point. When you believe deep in your heart that he is the one, nothing will come in your way, not even him. I wish you the best of luck and emunah in your power to make the changes in your life which will bring you all the things you want. Anonymous , January 14, 2: I don't really think you can define love.
It's like hatred, just to strong to describe. Its true you are suppose give in love. One has to understand each other very well by passing of time. One has open his or her heart to the loved one. One has to know all the past of the other person to have trust on him or her. Problem is that the same thing not felt from that person How can I cope with it and move on??
Anonymous , January 8, 4: I think that love is a complicated, noble action. It can be very confusing, but when you get to understand it, it can be truly amazing. Love is more than feelings. Love is not what you falling into, love is what is generated from the heart. If you can love anyone, how do you know which one is THE one? I broke up with an ex who was a wonderful person but we were very different. Does that mean I can marry anyone? How do you know if that person is the one??? Johanna , January 8, 4: When you meet your match you will know, you will automatically sense it.
It's like a switch is turned on. Does she make you laugh, does she brings out the best in you. Can you go more than a day without seeing her. If you answered yes to all of these go get her but if you answered no then let her go and move on. Too many people believe in waiting around hopelessly until someone takes interests in them. They don't see that life is about getting what you give.. If you feel empty it's because you have been selfish.
Love is without a definition. To me, love is the last thing you think about before you fall asleep and the first thing on your mind waking up. Love is trying to fall back asleep because you were dreaming about them. Love is looking past the bad to have the good. Love is evil and love is amazing. Love is when you look straight into the other persons heart.
It is patient and kind and it also never fails Love is a feeling when you choose to move in that direction will cause you to feel alive. It will change how you look at life and you will have knots in your stomach, you wont sleep, eat and just spending time with that person will be enough.
Love is not perfect but when you choose to believe in what you have with that person anything is possible. Love is a great feeling but if u dnt treat it right it will leave. Love is all in our minds. That's why they say love is blind. We choose to see the good and ignore the bad. Time with that person makes you see the bad. That's why there is divorce. Page , December 20, 8: Jasmin , December 21, Anonymous , December 23, 3: I'm sorry but saying that love is perfect is naive and delusional.
Nothing is ever perfect, especially love, it requires hard work and dedication and sometimes there are times when it is downright rotten, but you live for the good times, you persevere and support each other through the bad times; thats what love is. It's a commitment and it is the greatest thing anyone can ever have or give, but it is far from perfect. Kamran Butt , December 23, 2: Love is the master to happiness and without love who knows how this world will be?
If you wanna get the best love out of a man or woman,you must look for the best that is in him or her! You have written many things that have hit home with me. I am 51not and have dated alot, and I must say that giving of your self showing not just saying you love someone Trust, Truth, honest communication, respect are also very important for a Great Relationship too.
Love is so easily given when our eyes and hearts are opened. Love is the person you think about all the time, love is the person you see when you go to sleep at night, love is in dreams, love is your best friend. Love is the one you care about even when they hurt you love is an "obsession" for that person. Love is the only one you want to be with all the time.
Love is listening to your favorite song over and over again. You know all the lyrics, the whole tune, the thumping beat, but you click that replay button saying it'll be the last time, and it never gets old. Love is when 2 ppl care about each other and there for each other like me and my bf ;. I really like this guy and I believe it's love but he doesn't fancy me so I am a bit annoyed at love at the moment!! Satwika , November 15, 1: Love is such a short word , but is much larger in meaning. Anonymous , November 16, 2: Jasmine , November 18, 5: I think your idea about love is right.
Because it makes a lot sense than all the other ones???????? Everything else will fall in place since u already have accomplished the first essential step to a long life of caring for one another past the physical and magical "state" of just being "in-love". Yes , love means sacrifies. Love means no conditions, Love means attachment with whole heartly, Love Means mentally , emotionally relation not just cheep phsyciaaly relationship. Love means the happiness of other. Love is a feeling that can make us happy or sad. I have love one. She was my best friend. I love her as a best friend very much.
I can't forget her. Love is an affection that one can have towards another person. Sometimes you might end up loving a person who doesnt lov you back, i think its normal Anonymous , November 3, 1: Mike hunt , November 1, 2: In my view love means that god has created a relationship between a boy and a girl before our birth in this world and so we get our life partner or girl friend or boy friend as a gift of god so love is defined to be the disclosing of the relationship created by god and presentation of that relationship in front of someone whom u love may be your parents or ur life partner.
The truth behind love can be divided into which category you define yourself in. For instance if you can not love your self in happiness with yourself how can you provide love heart. Love is like the clock hand that move without season!! So dream hope and love Without this Love can never be!! Love is natural n procedural. Love comes 4rm d inside. U can't love someone u dnt know. Love is beautiful when the one u loved loves u back. U can love only one person and that person must have certain similarities with u, which will help to connect the both of u together.
U can't give what u don't have. You must have love to be able to love. Love can be good or bad, it all depends on the individual. Love is a beautiful feeling. Giving is the best way to express it. God gave to all of us. And Expect for us to give. Love is God , If you dont fall in love it is bad ply one more time you loved anyone there is so calm in your true love and noone can explain it , only lover or loving person feel it we are very lucky that we have our emotion and feeling dont waste it and loved someone this is my request to all of you and at that time you found your answer.
Love you my loving person. Love is the feeling and giving of ones self in total pureness to receive the respect and love of one self mirrored from the one who is being loved. Love is action, love is unconditional, love is compassion, love is responsible, love is kind, love is forever. Synthia , October 21, Your also wrong everythng positive we do to make others happy is out of love. Just imagine how the world would have been if we hated eachother. The time you have found that someone who will be there for you at all times,then u get that feeling inside.
Even if i do the givin to love him, do i have the right to expect the givin from him, to know that he loves me.. I keep doubting if he loves me or not, though he says it, coz may be he lacks the "givin" part! I totally agree wth u when u say luv is a choice because the decision of luvng or not is yours 2 make.. It's hard for me to agree with you that love is a choice.
There are too many instances of people falling in love with someone else and they are unable to stop these feelings even when the other person dosn't love them back. And, even if this person tries to love someone back, it doesn't always work out. Your right, love is not a choice I've been in that position no matter what i do it's useless.
I really love that guy so i take all the risk but i end up hurting myself. Kay , October 14, For me love is a choice because you chose whether or not you want to love someone or something, that's just what I feel. Love begins with knowing that everyone deserves to be regarded as a valid human being, worthy of all the rights that God gave the person considering the question. The rest is a bonus. The concern I have with these comments, is that if you yourself are good kind and giving person, then naturally you will look for a person with similar qualities.
The issue is that there has to be some commonalities, like culturally, physical and other factors that will influence the success of a relationship. So by just stating that if a person is giving, and kind, will form the basis of love, is not entirely correct. There obviously has to be some physical attraction and some cultural commonality.
If I go out with a person and there is no physical connection, but your partner is a wonderful, caring and kind person, are you then suggesting that this is the ingredients for a happy future. My view is that there has to be a physical connection and of course your partner should be a giving person, but there is more to a relationsip than just connecting on the fact some one is giving.
I really think that the more you give the more you feel for that person but actually finding that one person that you can't be without and can't stop thinking about and no matter what she does it might really bother you but you let it go just so you can still be around her and see her you tell me what that is. Love is nothing but pain Love is selflessness, compassion. Love will not stray nor wander. Trust without second thought. It's is warm even when its cold.
Love is unexpecting of expectations and love is letting go. Love comes deep from within yourself and is a constant to all. It is your choice to love or fall. May be alright that you say Love is there only If the two partners are willing to spend their entire lives together. Well people have many conclusions on love but from my perspective love happens when the other person is willing to give up their lives for that other person it doesn't matter the distance and it doesn't have to matter what people say love is a strong Bond that people have with one another love is a powerful word when u say that I love u I believe the person saying it have to feel some sort of connection going on I also believe love Is spiritual thing it happens fast and in expectantly think about it only unexpected things last the longest which sums up my whole conclusion on love so in my opinion anything can happen.
I think that love is a deep down feeling that you have for someone that you have strong feelings for and you really care about them. Love is hard to explain cause you have to be in love to explain it. It comes when you have found the right person soul mate. I truly believe in love and I feel that everyone can find that special person to be in love with.
I also think that it is a feeling of passion where you dont want to be do or even think abot anything but that person, you are in love with that you mentally and physically cant be without them. In your life and that you know if you lost them it would be the worst thing that ever could happen to you. Janakirama , October 3, 1: Love is a broad thing like as sea, but love not in sea. If he likes you, He looks at you frequently after specific time. He is trying to talk with you and also trying to come near to you. He likes you but like you he also can't explain in front of you.
My good wishes with you. LOVE isn't like foot prints that fade on beach, its like an foot prints on the wet cement which becomes stronger with time.. I like a guy but dont know whether he too likes me or no I want him to be my partner for all my lives though I no only few things about him I cannot go and express my feelings directly but cant see him with any other girl.. Best article I've read on the subject and I'm studying the issue. Timely too as I chose to love someone who says but did not do the same. A true love is not just like the rain which falls and goes away, a true love is like the air some limet silent but always aruond all.
I loose my temper and said thing. He does not reply. Anonymous , September 26, Rjay , September 26, 9: Kind of, but that doesn't mean you cant change! If he doesn't respond then he has no respect for you at all. True love makes absolutely no judgements of another person at all. Love is unconditional, meaning that your love remains regardless of your loved ones actions. Love is kind, always. Meaning you are unable to treat them badly, even at the most irritating of moments. When in love never pass a single day without declaring your love for each other.
Love is almost impossible to explain in mere words but just know For me love is bliss.. It can only be felt.. When the love is true it does not matter about the situation because the spontaneous inner self of a person let him know about the rest. It's a awesome feeling when someone falls for someone in love.. But it has to be very true to self because "Trust is the backbone of a relationship".
I thought i was the 1st who understood what love was all about Anonymous , September 5, 2: Love is indiscibable it there or it's not there, sometimes you can try to denied it at first but deep inside you know you're lying, or playing games. And if it's not there you can try to make it happen it's not going to happen. You feel it or you don't and you shouldn't blame yourself for either one.
This is an age old question, and one that is difficult to answer because everyone is different. Love does hold two different meanings in the english language. There is impersonal love and interpersonal love. Impersonal love is a person who loves an object,an idea,or a goal. This does not involve any type of relationship. There is no love between two beings. Interpersonal love is the type of love that is between two human beings. This is a type of love that exist between lovers, family, and friends. Interpersonal love is closely connected to interpersonal relationships.
The dictionary will tell you that "in love" means to be enamored of someone. To me,Love is about trusting someone else completely. You will feel secure if you are in love. When you are in the company of the person with whom you are in love, you should be able to feel completely relaxed and at ease. You should feel at peace with him and with the world. There is nothing else like the feeling of falling in love and of being in love. There will be no doubt when you really experience it. Don't try to define it, just enjoy it! You deserve to be in love.!!
Lonjezo chatupa , August 19, 2: Love z just a feeling and love is not even magic and does nt make anyone crazy but because many do understand love. Matthew , August 1, 8: Anyone could say it just works with actions but its up to those who are willingly to bond with each other to make it work with their actions. Love is good in every body life i as a person i need love,with love u can feel for someone. Love centers in the mind. And because its in the mind its in the heart, and infiltrates the whole soul. This love we are talking of is nt a word of mouth.
Love is a feeling which can nt be explained, when someone fall in it. So with this, i can call love a spirit. Like my young son told me "Love isnt something you say". Love is all about free will affection one has for his fellow being,be it a man or a woman. Love is a spirit that controls human chemistry. Love is a strong word most ppl sy it as a friend but in a realstion ship. You have to kno what. I was asked this question in grade 11 and at the time I had nothing to say.
I had not know love, I only know hurt, pain and disapointment, I wanted to feel love more than anything. I married and still questioned love, it wasn't until the birth of my first daughter that I knew love. It was a promise to be there for her in ways no One ever was for me. To love her unconditionally to me was a possibility I had to first learn to love to give love before I could receive it.
Love is every thing for me LOve is that only we can feel it. If we really love some 1 then we heartly respect that person. To me love is a thought. It centers in the mind. And because its in the mind, its in the heart. This article is exactly what I needed to hear this evening. Love is a rational decision, rather than a fleeting emotion. I can choose to love, and that makes me feel very powerful. I know of too many couples who are not truly compatible, who do not entirely respect one another, and who never stopped to discuss life goals and philosophies on child rearing, etc.
As today i recall a lot of memories in my life, i only have to say i'll never give up on love. Todah Hashem for this glorious feeling. Had been told that such line of thinking is too practical to last for a lifetime. Thanks for putting it in those words: True love want to make sure they are both happy and without one hurting the other one.
THIS is what we should be teaching our children. I just found this website and will visit often. God is the author of Love because He is Love. I have thoroughly enjoyed the articles and videos found here. Nothing was said in this article regarding parent guidance in a child's mate selection; this is not done in America, we seem to be left to make our own mistakes and suffer the consequences, but at my age, 55 after two marriages, one short when I was young and one a lifetime, I believe that if we exercise the kind of love discussed in this article and incorporate this with parents being "lovingly" involved in their children's interests in a mate and exercised loving and open dialog with our child regarding this person, there would be far less divorce, but this type of relationship must begin from youth to establish the transparency of that love.
Who loves us better in this world than our parents? Who wants our lifetime happiness more than our parents? While we do marry a person, we also marry a family and divorce is a brutal, and destructive act with long-lasting and sometimes permanent effects. Divorce is the murder of a marriage and something God never intended. When u know that u r wrong but u still want to enjoy and feel it its love. Love,love,love,love is doing something stupid when you are aware, saying silly promises and sticking to it, shutting doors and opening the window for one person,thinking everything is right when it's actually wrong,don't care what people say but foll.
Love is sacrificin to make sure the one u love is always happy n comfortable wit u. Anonymous , October 11, 1: I believe love is that warmness I feel when he says my name, the security that emobilizes me when he says everything will be alright, love is when he holds me when I cry, stimulates me with laughterwhen Im blue, brings me silly little gifts just because,LOVE is when I can do all the same to him in return and he accepts it,Thats What LOVE is to me!!!!! I was in a marriage with a diagnosed narcissist.
The penultimate paragraph suggests I stay and love him, the last paragraph suggested I leave because he was not capable of loving me. Love cannot be defined, but merely generalized. Altthough not in n terms of "goodness" but by an intense appreciation. Bonnie and Clyde were "in love" but not under a sense of goodness. Goodness is subjective and so is your definition. Individuals each define love in their own abstract way. Gemini , May 16, Onwere faith , May 11, 9: A great summary of what love really is! Have a nice day! Gila, Thanks so much for your ideas on Love.
As a student and enthusiast of Love I really appreciate your thoughts, so much so that I included it in an blog article I wrote about Love. Thanks again for your contribution! Anonymous , May 2, 8: My comment is when you love somebody,that he doesn't loves you, somebody loves you that you will not know who. I thot i only had to receive the love, gifts, care and all. Iam going to use this love and save my relationship. Love is when you see that someone has time to spare for you in marraige its the same it makes you feel that you are someone not something i lost my love after 10 years it was the worst thing in my life i was so taken by the usual routine that i didnt realise what was wrong until we parted if you want love forever you have to spend time together and kiss each other and hug each other each and everyday.
There is nothing worse then a broken a heart you feel an emptyness which cannot be filled by anything and noone only time can heal it and it takes ages unfortunately. We are all searching for love cause we cannot feel love in our sorroundings we cannot feel love because we dont appreciate the effort of the people beside us who only want to make us happy sometimes we look so far searching for love we Anonymous , April 28, 5: Marson Neth , April 19, Akingbacrown , April 24, Sorry to hear you also had your heart broken, sadly I now what that's like, destroyed me for a while I was convinced she was the girl I was going to marry, in my mind we were practically engaged, spoke about kids names, bank account, where to live, Aliyah etc Then all of a sudden, finished Take comfort when you're ready to that if something underhanded was done, the hope is to have it rectified in this world, but if not it will be sorted from above.
Shabbat shalom, ve chag Sameach. Anonymous , April 16, Alexis , April 10, 7: Contreras , April 8, 6: I think its a good essay about love some teenagers need to taken into consideration. Kia , April 2, 8: I really enjoyed the above article and the way it deals with both religious aspects and practical ones which, should be one of the same if true religion is doing. I do believe though that in special circumstances people can develop a deeper love than perhaps normal which is not simply down to chemistry and does not depend solely on giving and choice even.
But I describe a 'un ordinary' situation here. Loved your true insite into what "love" is.. Love is an action verb.. This article gave me the knowledge to help my relationship to make my relationship the most loving it can be I'm 19 and I'm in love with a girl and I hope the best for everyone that is in love and please hope me the beat as well thank u lesions who posted the article.
Akhtar , March 14, 6: Set the place for me in your heart,not in your mind,for the mind easily forget,but the heart always remember,It is love. I'm glad I found this article. Thank you very much for this article. Thank you for this article how awesome. These words go through my heart. Thanks and god bless. Anonymous , March 10, I have been in a relationship for over a year. After reading this page I am now certain that i am not lusting but am in real love. I just needed reassurance. However i have a problem telling my family bout my relstionship cos the man i am with is of different race and religion.
I have strict parents. They dont believe love is enough. They got married old school. They would probably laugh if i said im in love. How can i make them understanding that this feeling is geniune and i want to spend my life with him.. After reading this I feel empowered. I just ended a relationship which was a learning experience.
I now know I should learn myself first and then I can love others as I do myself. There is a great explanation on what Love is inside the article and I couldn't stop soaking in the knowledge. Thank you for helping me and in turn I will help others! Love is a choice and who we chose may or may not be The One. It is better to have love and lost then to never have loved at all! Max I am so sorry you had such a tough upbringing. I too had a similar experience when I was younger except my father was absent in my life and my mother was an alcoholic.
My Aunt and uncle took care of me off and on for years they are very good to me I still call them mom n dad. At 15 my mother made me live with her after she moved what seemed to me as too far from my life introducing me to a small suburb town and a new school I hated.
Because I was so unhappy I made choices I thought would bring me love I yearned for my own family to love me and became a teenage mom at Even though I am blessed with a beautiful daughter I love unconditionally I still struggled with love and made not so great decisions because I thought that was the best way to show love. Looking back now I realize my "mom n dad" are role models for me to understand love is not just a word it is full of feelings actions emotions good deeds sacrifice and hard work. If I knew then what I know now I am sure in could have taught my children how to express love in a positive way.
My oldest daughter is almost your age I believe you need to know and understand yourself and your life experiences before you look for external love. Maybe try something new and meet new people. There are many books on understanding yourself I also suggest writing down and visualizing what a good healthy loving happy relationship looks like to you along with some positive affirmations like " I am love" repeat this aloud to yourself at least ten times a day and she what you attract in your life and how you feel.
I hope my advice helps I just happened to come across this article and saw your post. Also it sounds like you aunty "mom" was a great support if you can thank her for all she gave you which true in my eyes is unconditional love. Maybe she can give you some advice too. Many blessings and best wishes I hope you find what you are looking for. PetluvR , March 4, 4: Omotayo Victor , March 6, Your story was a touching one but still better than some people. I will like you to first believe that love exist, then change your attitude by praying to God to give you grace to love even your mother.
Believe that you can love and be loved, forget about the bitter experience though difficult to forget but you just have to forge ahead. Always pray to God the Love himself to give you heart of love. You will surely find Love. Summer7 , May 23, 6: Max, I really wish you start feeling better soon.
My situation is a little different then yours but I too was abandoned by my dad and my mom had to work really really hard to make the ends meet so she was away a lot and I practically grew up on my own. I had a rich imagination and a a result I created a new world for myself and started "living" there. At the age of 26 I finally realized that the "work" was not real and that I had to let it go. It led to mild depression where I did not know who I was anymore and what I wanted to do. I actually did not want to live anymore. I am 28 now and I have found something that has put everything into its place.
I have found love for myself, respect, I just enjoy being me and I see how the real world changes around me as I change to the good. Please, give me a favor- by a book by Louise Hay "you can heal your life" and read it. I attempted to read it three times, but only on the third time it actually got to me and I realized how amazing the book is. Give it a try. It will teach how to love yourself because tour own love is the most precious gift u can give yourself.
And it is not the selfish kind of love that you ll feel, it ll be wonderful, admiring, warming and kind love. No one can love you if you don't love yourself. It's just that simple. The book will open your eyes on life and on how wonderful the life is. I have seen amazing results in my life- I met and married the most amazing, kind and handsome man on earth and I never thought that a guy like that could ever like me.
Change your life, heal your life. Give this book a try- u have nothing to lose. If you really want it it will help you. It is changing my life. You are so young. Everything is literally in your hands. You have the power. I am wishing you all the best. His words are very wise and true in its teaching. Some of the comments are silly. Those are the ones who will need more teaching about love. I can't believe the contrast between the wisdom of the speaker and some of the idiotic comments. Did you actually read the article before you posted your own silly version of love?
Why did you even read an article entitled What Is Love, if you then post that it's about staring each other in the eye for extended periods, or missing someone? Either you didn't read or didn't bother to understand. How old are you? The article is spot on by the way, I'm glad I found it. I don't count myself as religious but the wisdom is universal. It's Valentines Day and all day I've been so confused. I don't understand love. This makes me understand, and almost believe in it I think Love is a deep affection toward some thing or some one.
And in most cases it is unexplainable, but there are always reasons. Thank u so much, from this post, u have succeded in reorienting my perception of love. Ramia , February 12, 4: KKoirala , February 13, Lov is inherently free. It cant b bought, sold, or traded. Lov is bigger than u are. You can invite lov, but you cant dictate how, when, and where love expresses itself. Cecilia , February 14, 2: Love is a subject for human kind, God created two personalities Adam and Eve, and brought about love and care for each other, therefore, its all about understanding your enviorment and needs to bring about a peaceful and sustainable love.
Well For Me It Is. There are 3 things needed for love. You and your partner need them Respect each other Honesty Be Faithful to each other. This is an awesome article! I learned that love is the closest thing to magic we have: Love is a devine thread between two , its just a intangible feeling which can be felt not be expressed in worrds. Love is dedication,loyalty, honesty, changing together, commitment, tolerance, responsibility, unconditional, it is forgiveness, it is excepting the person for who they are even though we can't tolerate some things.
Love can only be measured by time and the actions and sacrifices one makes when together. A comfort feeling, a feeling of being of true self. Love is God and all the goodness that surrounds it. Ferdinand From Nigeria , January 17, You have said it all, it is empty but mighty feeling that stands immediately with God. Anonymous , January 24, 1: Jones , December 22, Love is a seed that can be planted and if plants in a fertile soil with right post-planting process it grows, i explain: Love is a feeling that you get when you with somebody that you known or that you been with and trust for years also if you or someone love it my hurt but youor that someone not going to hurt you or that someone that really love you.
Love can't be defined by just one person. It's only learned by how one person's feelings. You have to feel it to know it; Everyone has their own definition of love. Love is a broad term My definition of love varies within specific people I love this article. The last paragraph in the article struck a nerve in me. In my case, through self reflection, I discovered that my behaviors toward the person I do love probably could be construed as mistreatment - insensitive comments, disconnection, tension I've discovered that I have been in a lot of pain, and I have not had the tools to cope with it.
I've been taking that frustration out on my partner. Not physically, but certainly verbally. I think I've violated parts of this article for some time, but at my core, I am someone who loves My point is simply that pain masks loving behaviors. I'm not trying to excuse it. I own what I did. It's just troubling to see a paragpraph that simply specifies that mistreatment is not love. Mistreatment can be a symptom of a love in pain.
Anonymous , December 5, 6: If that's what you call love, you are in a very sad state and I'd advise you to read the above article and then reread it about ten or twenty times. Anonymous , December 20, 2: Love is not not about you, it's about how much you are willing to give to your mate and knowing God is the center of it all. How much are you willing to deny yourself and put your mate frist, whether your mate is right or wrong?
Love has its own power. How do you teach your spouse to be "In love with you"? Can I teach her to fall in love with me again? Can I do this by applying all that is written in the article above? I somewhat disagree at some statement. Just wondering if its possible to give wholeheartedly outa love. Many people make up their own rules as they go and that is why today love is confusing. One myth is if you love some one you will do anything for them, what if they asked you to rob a bank, Now the question is does that person really love u.
This helped me to remember what I am suppose to be experiencing in my relationship thank you crying thank you. I do agree however there is something missing but I am unsure what. My question is, if you are busy loving with all your might as I did, you actually are so busy doing the correct thing to notice your spouse isnt, then what?? Anonymous , November 3, 2: There are many kinds of love,but there is one basis for making any type of love work,the willingness to give and accept that not always will it be returned.
By accepting this,your love becomes selfless and the most precious gift you can give anyone. The Jewish concept of a 'bashert',is misunderstood today. The belief that there is only one person out there that is our true mate is deceptive.
The key is to realize that once you found the right Right,you have to be ready to become part of a team and move forward together. It doesn't always happen so easily, as people move at different rates. Sometimes you have to wait until the other catches up,and sometimes stresses can throw you off rhythm. If you're willing to give the time to catch up,you have a good chance of having an enduring relationship. Of course it takes both partners to understand this.
The ELA felt flabbergasted by these objections. They had believed that the Expression Ignorant Society needed much help. So the ELA created sentence starters: How Do You Feel About. What Did You Think of. They plastered these phrases onto billboards and acted them out in commercials. Let Us Speak and using wordsmiths — Milton, Donne, and Shakespeare all banned — for posters and flags. When emotions calmed, the ELA, with haste, enacted Word and Term Changes to books and songs and such for fear of new uprisings.
Microphones were installed throughout the country. A green light shone, displaying a warning, after someone spoke a word or phrase that had been Listed for Possible Removal Beautiful, Like, How You Doing, Outside The Box and an ear-piercing buzz sounded, leading to exile, when someone misspoke, using a banned word or phrase.
The ELA had banned Love with immediacy. Will and Jane during that time had attended verbose parties and effusive dinners. People had chattered nonstop and without regard. Will remembered entering music-filled rooms, crowded with stylish dress and primped hair and bright lights.
How Are You Doing? Will often said as he shuffled by friends, acquaintances, strangers. Believe You Me, some stranger offered in return at the end of the night. Also, during the time of Careless Speech, words similar to Get and Literally and nonwords such as Irregardless and Conversate were spouted without thought.
They too purged society of words used wrong: Terrific and Ultimately, and gross sounding words: Squirt, Chunk, and Discharge. They freed society of confusing words: All exclusions were meant to help create a Clarified Society. Will really wanted to say the word Love because he does have strong emotions for Jane. The ELA had explained, Citizens without restraint used Love to describe feelings for someone, for movies, for songs, for activities and even for bananas.
Will remained quiet, knowing that if he used a banished word or phrase the government would exile him. Will continued to watch the fan rotate. He felt it impossible to track, as he felt it impossible to consider accurate words. Will though was no different than many persons within this new time period. The ELA felt angry, hurt, frustrated. They watched and listened as fewer people met for parties or dinners. When people did gather minutes ticked in silence, or those individuals who refused to learn new words or to concentrate on emotions or who feared the green light and piercing buzz — in fact there were fewer citizens in this new world of exactitude — sat muted, listening to those with a precise vocabulary and identified sentiments speak unabated.
Soon people stopped asking about feelings. Then couples separated because one of them was unable to explain his or her feelings. Then married folk divorced as one or both of them told the truth. Jane again said, Tell me how you feel about me. Will believed she had fallen asleep. He had hoped she had fallen asleep. He laid as still as possible. He had taken shallower breaths. Will thought of words and phrases to say: He laid struggling to identify his feelings toward her, just as he had struggled to identify his feelings toward events and bananas.
Will though closed his eyes then sighed at the sound of the piercing buzz. When I find one I love, my kitchen sparkles and I run lots of useful errands. My favorites are fiction. Whether they hook me or not, each one teaches me something about telling a story, building a world, developing characters and their voices.
Last year, I discovered The Black Tapes while it was on a brief hiatus and shortly before it was due to end. It was so good — scary, haunting, and smart. The longtime listeners had a lot of time and energy invested, which likely had an effect on their reactions to the short third and final season in general, and the final episode specifically.
When I checked in at Reddit a day or two later, I quickly realized that fans were, to put it mildly, not pleased. People swore they would never give money to this group of storytellers or any of their other podcasts again. Amateurish and insulting and negated everything that they had previously loved about it.
And goddamn it, we trusted them, and they do this. A typical episode was anywhere between 33 and 47 minutes; the final episode was only 27 minutes, 18 seconds. And that included three rather long advertisements plopped in the middle in two different spots. In retrospect, they did leave us hanging. Not everything wrapped up as nice and comfortably as we listeners would have preferred, yet people almost universally adored the ending. The writers clearly took their time. They resolved important threads while unraveling another, and they did tell us what happened regarding the threat of world annihilation.
I am married with two children but I have never felt as much as I did with him in the magical time we had 20 years ago. Twenty five years ago, in my late teens, I had my first boyfriend. .. I remember thinking that my teenage boyfriend - who was a couple of years older than me - was really grown-up; but. Some people meet online, others through friends, some at work, and those special reminders that magical things still happen all the time. Let these stories of real true love and really unique how-we-met tales inspire you to keep on, keepin' on: . "How my husband and I met is an unlikely funny story!.
We have no idea where these people will end up, but their story began, middled, and ended in a specific context; that context is really all they needed to resolve. I may have cried, but just a little. The reality is, we are not. I tend to trust the storyteller. Whether or not I like the ending of something is irrelevant; once a thing is out there, how it ends is how it ends. I see people calling bullshit on different endings Twin Peaks , Lost , even the original Dallas — which, well, ok, actually, yeah.
Turns out, it caused the vocal glitch. It also caused Hera to not pull things off that she was actually perfectly capable of. What an insight into human nature! What a thing to identify completely with as we try to write, as we try to get better, as we try to get other people to believe in us and help us get our work out into the world. To get people to trust us, the storytellers. In my own writing, I know that what I need to do is trust my training, my reading, my knowledge of my characters, my connection with creativity and inspiration as much as — actually, more than — I trust other story tellers.
Will it negate everything that came before? The parts they liked or even maybe loved? I hate letting people down. But I gave it everything I had, I followed the characters into sometimes uncomfortable-to-me places, and I did my best to be true to them. They have the power to disappoint as much as enlighten and satisfy. What a wonderful and terrifying pursuit this is!
And, like Hera, all we can do is recognize that glitch that makes us undermine ourselves, move the hell past it, and keep writing. And if a few people are disappointed, so be it; let them try it. I feel angry and frustrated, and I swear to God if one more fucking person tells me that my husband loved me, I will scream. I look around our bathroom, with its fresh coat of mint green paint, and I laugh. You fought me for three months about this goddamn color, but in the end, we compromised. I got the mint green bathroom, you got a beer tap in the new basement.
I rest back against the vanity, taking in the scope of the renovations: New renovations for a new life together. A tear rolls down my face, its gravity dragging me to the tile floor. Through blurry eyes, I stare at where the floor meets the wall, and I realize something for the very first time:. Over the years, I came to think of them as the invisible guardians of nature, wise beyond words, exceptionally good, especially at keeping the vermin population in check.
My senses would go on full alert, absorbing the natural surroundings, until the unnatural sense of myself was gone. Then, if I was lucky enough to hear another hoot, it would make me giggle, just a little, because it reminded me of my favorite line in Walden: I suppose it was a replacement for the Catholic Youth Bible I once burnt, buried, and planted a seed over up on top of my favorite hill in the forest.
Walden was a stand-in for what the Bible might have meant to me back then, that is if there had been someone with the wisdom to cause my young mind to want giggle about some of the wise passages in it. But the Bible, sadly, was shown to me to be about nothing other than the serious business of instilled existential guilt, coupled with a list of rules I had to follow to avoid having my soul roasted for eternity. In my 20s, 30s, and half of my 40s, I was pissed about that. I railed against the Catholic church and felt myself to be a victim of the poison of religion.
I even went so far as to pretend I was an atheist, even though my heart said otherwise. The long-gone good times and even some of the bad times. She kept bouncing with her hand held high. When she finally got her chance to speak, she grabbed some papers off her desk and began to stutter. The memory still burns bright in me. It reminds me of a question Thoreau asked himself in his journal. Save for the three words she uttered in frustration, nothing else about that moment was spoken.. The one that everyone wants. Ancient Sanskrit has 96 words for it, none of which I know how to speak.
But truth can be spoken to some degree. That was and still is, brutal—because everything I thought I knew about myself turned out to be a lie. Hearing an owl hoot in the woods is a good sign. One that always makes me giggle. They are wise beyond words, exceptionally good, especially at keeping the vermin population in check. What is your current book about? My last book was a story collection called Flings. It came out in What authors do you admire most? There are other authors who I have admired very much but no longer return to very often. Though I still remember what it felt like to read them and be blown away.
I spent between six months and a year with each body of work, and developed all kinds of ideas about how each writer works and what their strengths are. The best was probably learning to line edit. I had one professor whose aesthetic was severely minimalist, and who had also been a magazine editor for most of his career. He had no patience for redundancy, cliche, or self-indulgence. There was a set of values and aesthetic biases behind what he was doing that are not necessarily universally shared, but they were worth understanding, and the practical skills he taught me, in terms of editing and self-editing and also in terms of not settling for the quick fix, have been invaluable ever since.
Conversely, the worst workshop experience I think I ever had was with a different professor at that same school. It was a lot of wasted time. What is the lesson or piece of writing advice you return to most as an instructor? Shifting between the physical and digital space helps keep your critical eye fresh, plus it forces you to type up every set of notes into the document, which effectively becomes another round of editing. It also helps to read your work out loud. Repeat this process as many times as necessary. This is how you avoid accidentally butchering your work because you were in a bad mood or the coffee was too strong.
I was nominated for a position that they have there, the Teppola Distinguished Visiting Professor, which is a one-year appointment that rotates among the various departments at the school. So the English department made a case to bring me in, and I guess we beat out the other departments and whoever they had nominated. This is a slightly more academic title than I usually end up with, but the work is about the same. Tell us more about that. It just came out and I think it will yield a lot of strong opinions and good discussions. I might name that as the favorite only because I have absolutely no idea what is going to happen when I teach it.
How do you balance teaching with writing? Do you feel as though teaching slows down the process at all? On the one hand, sure, spending time doing anything other than writing is lost writing time. On the other hand, I find that working with students is intellectually stimulating and a lot of fun. So I guess the answer to your question is: Short term, yes, teaching can slow you down, but long term, it gives a lot more than it takes. Neither is all that valuable.
Praise is always nice to hear, and it can be very useful for an aspiring writer to hear what is working. And of course we all need to learn how to take and how to give criticism. More than anything else, what I want a workshop to do is tell the writer of the piece what we see in her piece—not what we feel about what we see, but literally: What is on the page? You can get a great argument going about a story just by asking the workshop, What did you think this was about? Or even, What happened in this story? You will get 10 different answers. When people summarize, paraphrase, or describe, they immediately reveal what they as readers thought was important.
So the writer comes away with a lot of hard data on the way she is actually being read, which tells her something about the distance between what she was trying to do and what she actually did. What are the top myths people have about the publishing industry? Most editors do want to publish smart, challenging plotless novels and beautiful heartbreaking books of poetry that will sell copies, but that desire is not the only thing, or even the main thing, on their minds.
And with magazines it can be even more complicated, because the editor there is probably also thinking about things like the news cycle, or how this piece fits in with the 12 other pieces in the issue, or what the other magazines in their competitive tier are also working on. So the best thing for a new writer to do is to try and understand this whole ecosystem, and imagine what that same world looks like from the POV of some of its other players: Should students write with publication in mind?
Why or why not? It is one hundred percent, without exception, a waste of time and energy for this simple reason: The only thing to do is do the best work that you possibly can, put it out there, and see who wants to give it a home. I want the first pass of nose and lips against your hot, sleep-cleansed skin. I want to tug your bed-tousled hair and lick a snail's wet path from collarbone to ear; to that dark nestling place where earlobe meets your strong, curved jaw.
I want to trace finger-loops over your breathing belly, until instinctively you swing your hips squaring them to mine; bearing them to mine. I want to loop my arms around you and press my hands against the taut plane of your chest, lifting your knees up and in, tucking my face into the crook of your neck the sweetest place wrapping you in me. Take now for example: Telling my boys this tale has made me examine the process of how I tell stories.
As I sit at the keyboard and think, I can hear the boys upstairs casting spells at each other. I accepted this information with the few graces I have, then the conversation lagged. By this stuff , I think she was referring to the workshop piece I just had critiqued by my peer review group. As a quick aside, that story was published in Assignment online. Anyway, the story is one wherein nothing bad actually occurs, but with every fiber of your being you know the protagonist is twisted and has done something unspeakable.
Without ruining the plot, the story is about a guy who owns a party company with bouncy houses for rent. The only other detail you need to know is that half of the story takes place at a birthday party. So let me use the previous story to explain how I come up with content. I was a few weeks away from a deadline at school and had no idea what I was going to write as a critique piece. Instead of sitting at my computer worrying about it, however, I was playing with my kids. We just bought a small bouncy for my son for his third birthday.
We had it inflated, and the boys were jumping happily inside. My mind, as it so often does, went into preparation mode—always be ready for the worst to happen. And with a bouncy house that could be bad indeed. But as I watched them jump, I realized that they would be fine and never know the danger implicit in any fun activity. Boys safe, I let my mind wander the halls of its prison. The story, dark as it is, emerged from that door. My mind fled back down the corridors to its cell and slammed the door. But at least I had a story to write. I was thankful my boys did not have to endure the same thing but instead could enjoy the company of their peers while learning their Bible lesson.
Then, last week, I was writing a chapter for my new WIP work-in-progress. The chapter came about because I was envisioning a canoe trip with my sons, and how we would survive if disaster struck. And by taking my worst fears for my children and turning them into stories, I am able to come to grips with my fears, and show them how small they really are once they leave my mind. I write horror because I love my kids. An author has to keep up appearances, after all. You can follow him at https: The Writing Dad , a blog dedicated to the adventure of being a dad and an author at the same time.
There are no days more full than those we go back to. Because we feel so strongly about our time together, we here at Assignment decided to ask some of the current MFA Candidates, the alumni and faculty what they missed, learned and loved about past residencies. My favorite moment of every residency is the Friday night slideshow. You can see the shift in photos taken early on in the week, to those taken toward the end. Friendships have been made. Dreams have been born.
And cohort bonds have all become stronger. It just felt right. The Mountain View is dead quiet at 4am. We walk the silent halls, my coffee cup is stained purple with red wine and his smells of cinnamon whiskey. We pause in front of a painting of hunting dogs. This one has eleven. When I think about the four residencies I attended, the thing that sticks out most vividly is the mornings: Leaning over to the personal-size coffee maker that I brought to every Residency on the nightstand, flicking it on, and slowly coming to and watching the light slink across the walls and ceiling while my favorite coffee from home-brewed, making my room smell like morning.
Each morning, the cusp of bringing new learning into my mind and spirit. Each morning, looking forward to strengthening friendships with other writers. Each morning, giving myself permission to take my writing as seriously as everyone else already did. My favorite memories from Residency all center on how we, as colleagues, pushed one another to continuously perfect our writing and to hone our work into stories that deserved to be read. One semester, after having my piece workshopped, a colleague approached me for a personal discussion of the work. It was supposed to. One special pleasure was the peer workshop group I shared with Lydia Peele.
It was a mix of nice personalities and uniformly strong manuscripts. All such workshops provide to their leaders a mix of don't-do-that and yes-do-this in the storytelling, and it was great fun, over and over again, to find so many beguiling examples of yes-do-this. I call the top moments in my life: Expecto Patronum is actually Latin for "bring out my protector," so it felt appropriate both for me and the other characters in the Harry Potter universe. These moments include bid day in my sorority, when I got my littles, my time in Budapest, the Twenty One Pilots concert, Leadershape, and now: I'd cried for an hour when I first got the letter from Lisa telling me that I'd been accepted into the program.
I don't have the words to explain the amount of shock and gratitude I felt, but I knew it was one of those rare moments where I'd get a taste of what it means to finish first. Residency exceeded any possible expectations I could've dreamed of and more. I'm surrounded by a group of wonderful, inspiring, dynamic people who all share a love of what matters most to me: It's such a wonderful program, and I couldn't possibly praise it enough. At least I'll have the next two years to try. I relish forgetting about the rest of the world, even as we think and write about our concerns for its fate.
I love the deep immersion, the thinking and talking only about our craft. What a gift that is. And really, now that I've experienced it first as a student, then as faculty, I can say it is a necessity. Strangely, what I liked most and what I liked least about Residency are the same thing: I write around me rather than in me. I realized that either I needed to open up and expose myself and my family, or I needed to switch to fiction. I was overwhelmed with the fear of being vulnerable. It was a painful experience, but it was also a week of growth and insight.
I am not a nervous speaker. I believe it was Seinfeld who said that most funeral guests would prefer to be in the casket rather than give the eulogy. However, I never experienced the paralyzing fear of public speaking so many people suffer, as anyone who knows me will testify. I was a performative child, as most children begin and many children outgrow.
I had this dream tonight and im so emotionally disturbed. My ma brought up a better man than that LOL. I don't know how it happened, I don't know why either but I just fell. Someone that stole my heart from the first site.. Dunno why I feel so guilty about my dream.
I danced, sang, acted, and spoke without fear of my audience, no matter the size, age, or setting, and I could not identify with professional performers who admitted to vomiting before every show. What was there to fear? It took me twenty-six years to experience stage fright. I signed up for a Friday reading slot at my MFA residency. I selected a reading I felt good about, and I practiced it meticulously.
Muscle memory is essential to a good performance, no matter how good or bad the material, and I was determined to have this piece ingrained. Friday, I resolved, would be nothing. The symptoms began before breakfast: I started second-guessing my selection. Was it the right tone? Had I picked a section that was a poor representation of the voice of my character? Was it well-written at all?
I waded through my work for the day, increasingly worried that I had made a mistake, either in my selection or in signing up to read at all. I imagined that horrible smattering of polite applause, which sounds suspiciously like normal applause, but with a measured, muted quality that signaled no one actually liked the performance. The half hour before I was to read, I was well past anxious. My hands were shaking. My too-empty stomach flipped and squirmed. I could see where the sweat from my hands smudged the pages I was to read.
My friend told me it would be fine, and I knew she was right. I would not die if I got polite applause. But it felt suspiciously like death. My hands still shook when I took the podium. I worried my voice would sound as queasy as I felt. And worse than simply being present, he is one of those listeners whose body language telegraphs listening and draws the eye. I looked up the first time at the audience, as trained, and I saw him leaning forward, and I felt dizzy. Three minutes of my life did not feel like three minutes.
I was still shaking when I sat. I took deep breaths, rubbed the sweat from my hands on my lap, listened and applauded the other readers.
I told myself it would pass by the end of dinner. A bit of a boost to the blood sugar, some time for the adrenaline drop to level out. It would be fine. Some people would say they liked it and I would feel better. The food did not settle my stomach. I did get compliments, but it mysteriously made things worse. Each compliment from a professor made the nerves spike on the scale again, and I admitted to one that I still felt a mess when I left dinner early and hurried back to our meeting place for the next event.
She assured me this was normal. She said reading is her least favorite part of the program. Coming in the previous summer, I would not have understood her, but walking beside her with my stomach doing incomprehensible acrobatics and my fingers vibrating like a plucked guitar string, I knew exactly what she meant. I paced alone for half an hour, and even then my nerves only settled to the levels from breakfast. I got good feedback on the section, and I slept better that night than any other during the week.
And I was left with an important question to mull over. At first, I thought it was something about the stage. In dance and theatre, I usually had bright lights blocking the audience from view. Then I thought about content. With dancing, acting, singing, playing, I am taking content created by someone else and sharing it with the world.
But my writing is mine. It is what matters most. I'm still not a nervous speaker. I'd still rather give the eulogy than lay in the casket. And I'd still describe myself as performative. I wouldn't stop forcing myself to read, because I think it is good for me. But I have resigned myself to a life of hours of before-and-after agony on a reading day, and I do not imagine it will go away. In fact, I am fairly certain this is one of those things that only gets worse with practice.
His mind buzzed - fear and excitement warring over his attention. After Candice, he had sworn never to put himself on a string again. He spent eleven years being yanked on one, and even after the divorce, he came running whenever Candice beckoned. Promises of reconciliation eventually turned to ash in his ears, and Candice cut him loose.
Robert thought he was done with women, done with dating, and done with love. She popped into his life like a firework, showing up as a random challenger online in the Scrabble boards and chatting idly with him as she laid down triple word scores. There was something about her, something different.
After months of chatting on the Scrabble boards he had built up the courage to ask her to dinner. Lizzy acquiesced, however, and set a date. Lizzy was old school, and Robert was too shy to send anything more than a vague description of himself. Candace had ever been so aware of his faults, and eleven years of listening to itemized lists of them made it difficult to see anything else. Papa died before Candace left him, but Robert had a feeling he would have liked Lizzy. She was funny and wise. She was always ready with a quip and good advice whenever Robert was down.
The train slowed, inertia rocking everyone in the car forward. Robert adjusted his weight like the city pro he was. Like many metro travelers, his calves were his best feature. The train slid into the station, the tinny automated voice announcing the street. The surge of end-of-day commuters crashed against one another like opposing armies on a battlefield. The group on the platform washed around them, elbowing and shoving them aside to gain entrance to the carriages.
The exchange had all the order and grace of an explosion. Robert checked the hands of every woman that came in. The flash of red of the matching carnation should be easy to spot, regardless of the frenzy. Once his eye caught a crimson splotch, and his heart leapt. Its owner, a petite blonde in a navy business suit, stopped and scanned the seats.
She moved away moments later, and Robert saw she held not a flower, but a small, gaily wrapped package. He continued to scan the crowd, his panic rising with this heartbeat. He wondered if he had gotten the wrong day or the wrong train. The crowd settled down and the doors slid closed. The familiar weight of acceleration accompanied the familiar weight of disappointment.