A New Way to Win: How To Resolve Your Child Custody Dispute Without Giving Up, Giving In, or Going B
Contents:
If you are asking for supervised access, be prepared to tell the court who you think could act as a supervisor.
This could be a friend or family member — but be sure to ask the friend or family member if they will agree to supervise. There may also be a community organization in your area who does supervised access visits — check with your court to find out if this service exists in your area.
There are no specific rules around how much time a child should spend with each parent — every situation is different, and every child is different.
It is not unusual for a child to refuse to go to the other parent's home. Many children find these transitions difficult and may refuse to go, or if they go, may act out for a period of time after the transition. Unless there are safety concerns with the other parent's home, parents are expected to take all reasonable steps to ensure that the child transitions to the other home. You would often deal with this in the same way you would if the child were refusing, for example, to go to school or go to child care.
Some suggestions to make that transition go more smoothly are:. Children may not want to go with the other parent because they are worried about the parent they are leaving. Sometimes the transition is more difficult and traumatic for the parent than it is for the child. Let the child know that you will be fine without them in your care. Kids can understand body language! What you are able to do in this situation will depend on your circumstances, and whether you have a court order or not. If you do not have a court order for custody, access, or parenting time, you can apply to the court for one.
Usually you will make your application in the court nearest to where the child normally lives. If you have a court order, there may be court applications for enforcement that you can make, or you may apply to change your current order, depending on your situation. You should speak with a lawyer for advice about what to do. You may also speak to court staff about how to make an application in these circumstances. Sometimes, police may get involved when a parent does not return a child. Generally, though, police may only get involved if the child is in danger, or if there is a court order in place that says which parent the child is supposed to be with at specific times.
Policing agencies have their own rules and policies around what they will and will not enforce. You cannot use the other parent's action in denying contact as a reason to not meet your obligation to pay support. If you do not have a court order, you may apply for one. If you have an order for time with the child already, there may be ways for you to change or enforce that order. These applications must be filed no more than twelve months from the date of the denial. Under these applications, a judge may order any of the following:.
If the judge believes that the order will not be followed, they may also order that the respondent:. If the judge finds that the parenting time, contact time, or interaction has been denied, without reasonable excuse, this may be considered a material change in circumstances. This means the judge may change the order for parenting time, contact time, or interaction. The judge can do this even if the applicant did not apply for the change. Talk to a lawyer to find out what is best in your situation, and if making an application to the court is appropriate.
In law, child support and parenting time are two different things. You cannot use the other parent's failure to pay support as a reason to deny contact. If you are not receiving child support from the other parent, you should speak with a lawyer for advice on what to do. If you have an order for child support already, you can have this order enforced through the Maintenance Enforcement Program. If the other parent is supposed to have specific visits with the children and is not exercising this time, keep track of the days and times when this happened, and what the circumstances were.
Sometimes things come up — if the other parent becomes ill or is called into work, there may be nothing they can do, other than letting you know they cannot visit that day. If the other parent misses many visits for no good reason, you should seek legal advice about what to do. These applications must be filed no more than twelve months from the date of the failure. If the judge finds that the parenting time, contact time, or interaction has been not been exercised, without reasonable excuse, this may be considered a material change in circumstances.
You cannot make the decision to deny the child either of these rights. If you agree to not have time or visitation with your child, you will likely still have to pay child support, as one issue has nothing to do with the other. If your child is adopted by someone else, this will completely cut the legal tie between you and your child. You should seek legal advice if you are thinking of applying for someone to adopt your child, or are going to consent to your child being adopted by someone else.
Search form
Usually when you are applying to the court to get a court order for custody, parenting time, contact time, or interaction, you must apply to the court closest to where the children are living. For example, if you live in Kentville, but the children live in Port Hawkesbury, you will likely have to contact the court in Port Hawkesbury to make your application. If your children do not live in Nova Scotia, you will probably need to contact the court nearest to where the children are living to find out how to make an application there.
If you are dealing with custody and access as part of a divorce proceeding, though, this may work differently. If you are not sure where to file your application for parenting arrangements, you should speak with a lawyer or court officer. If you are divorced, you will usually make your application in the Supreme Court if you are applying outside of the Halifax Regional Municipality or Cape Breton. Once you have figured out which court is closest to the children which court will have jurisdiction to process the application , you will need to contact that court, and ask about their process for starting an application.
Co-parenting A & B
There may be more than one way to start the application process. If you have a lawyer, you should speak with your lawyer before beginning any court process. Your lawyer will likely help you fill out the required court forms and help you start your application. If you have a low income, you may qualify to get a lawyer through Nova Scotia Legal Aid. Even if you do not meet the low-income requirements to be represented by Legal Aid, you may be able to have a short consultation with a Legal Aid lawyer as a starting point.
Contact your local Legal Aid office to see whether you might qualify for their service.
Guidelines for Child Custody Evaluations in Family Law Proceedings
If you are looking to start a court application for custody or parenting arrangements on an urgent or emergency basis, you can ask court staff about this process. You should also speak with a lawyer for advice on whether your application may be considered urgent or an emergency by the court. A judge will decide whether your situation will be treated on an urgent basis.
For more information about urgent or emergency court applications, please click here. Usually, if one parent dies, the other will get custody of the children. You and the other parent may want to say this in your wills, or in your separation agreement, if you have one, to be clear about what your wishes are. The other parent, though, may disagree with this, and may apply to the court to have custody of the children. The other parent will usually be given custody of the children, unless a judge decides that they are not a suitable parent or cannot look after the children safely.
You should speak to a lawyer to get advice on this issue. If you are a biological parent to a child, you can make an application to the court for custody or parenting arrangements, and you do not need any special permission to do this. You will have to fill out certain court documents and will likely have to pay a filing fee for your application. Introduce your child to a new partner only when you know the relationship is serious and your child seems to have adjusted to the separation. A general rule is that you should be with your new partner for at least 6 months before they are introduced to your children, but every child and every situation is different.
Give children time to get to know the person before they are expected to spend long periods of time together. Children need time to adapt and it takes time to develop closeness, affection, friendship and trust. Continue to spend time with your child or children without your new partner present. Finding extra time for your child while seeing a new person can be difficult, but it is important. You must continue to put the needs and best interests of your child first even as you develop new intimate partner relationships.
Clear and sensitive communication is the key to helping children cope with the adjustment of a new partner. It is important to give your child permission to talk about their feelings and be prepared to accept them. Respect that your children may not feel the same way you do about the new partner. A new partner can be a very special friend and a wonderful support for children whose parents are no longer together. When parents separate, children may need their extended families more than ever.
The grandparents on both sides of the family and the extended families on both sides can be a resource for the parents and the children. Sometimes the extended family discontinues contact with the parent and their children. Existing positive relationships with other family members should be encouraged and continued — relationships that are safe and reasonable in your circumstances. Failure to do so can result in another loss for the children. This depends on your child and your situation. The law does not say at what age a child can make this decision.
Parents can discuss arrangements with older children, if this is reasonable and the child is mature enough to address this issue. If parents cannot agree on the parenting arrangements and end up going to court on this issue, the child may have some input during the court process. Whether the child will be involved at this stage will depend on their age and maturity, and the circumstances.
It will be up to a judge to decide if the child will have any input.
Making plans: A guide to parenting arrangements after separation or divorce
The assessor will make sure that the child has not been coached or persuaded by anyone or anything to make a certain decision, and will ensure that the child is mature enough to have a say in the proceedings. These reports cost money, and can only be ordered by a judge. In most cases, no.
Parents should not bring children to court except in rare situations. It is important that children be kept out of the middle of disputes, especially those that involve court.
Search and menus
Children should not know the details of your court case. Allowing them to come to court involves them in the conflict and is likely to be emotionally damaging to them.
You should speak to a lawyer in any unusual situation where you think you might want your child to come to court, for example, to act as a witness. If you and the other parent or potential parent s agree to have paternity testing done, you can arrange testing yourselves through an agency that offers this service. If the other parent or potential parent will not agree to this testing, you can make an application to the court to get an order requiring that this testing be done. You should speak with a lawyer for advice if this is your situation. There is a cost for paternity testing, and the costs are usually paid by the person who wants the testing done.
For more information on findings of paternity and paternity testing, click here. You may wish to consider having a clause in your court order or separation agreement that specifically identifies these abilities. Third parties may not understand that parenting time comes with the ability to access this information. Third parties generally do not want to get into the middle of disputes and will want to be sure that the person giving consent or accessing information in relation to a child has the right to receive that information or give consent.
Third parties could get into legal problems if they give information to people who are not supposed to have it. There are different kinds of wording about this issue that may work in a court order or agreement. Speak with a lawyer for advice if you have these concerns so that your order or agreement can deal with this issue. If you are planning to travel with your child, or to allow your child to travel with someone other than the other parent, like a grandparent, it is best to work out these issues well ahead of time.
Once the child is 16, they can apply for their own Passport. You should check with your local Passport Office, though, to determine what documents they will need from you. Speak to the court nearest you on how to do this.
It is also a good idea to get advice from a lawyer on this issue. If you think a custody dispute might arise, you should get legal advice before your child leaves Canada. Other countries may not recognize your child custody arrangements. See International Child Abductions: A Manual for Parents for more information. Do not make firm travel plans until you have all required documents and consents. Plan your trip well in advance, and give yourself enough time to deal with any possible complications.
You can also visit Passport Canada's website for information about Passports for children , including the requirements for a child's Passport application. What will happen if you die or can't take care of your child? Describes what will happen if you die without making arrangements for who will look after your child, what you can do about it appoint a stand-by or testamentary guardian , and how you can record your decisions. Can you move — With or without your child?
Do you need any legal documents to be able to leave Canada with your child? Describes what documents you must bring along to prove that you're allowed to take your children out of the country if you travel without the other parent. Who is a parent? Step-parents' rights and responsibilities Information for step-parents who want to apply for guardianship, custody, or access to or contact with their step-children, and about whether they are responsible to pay child support.
Parenting coordinators Describes how professional parenting coordinators can help parents resolve day-to-day conflicts about parenting agreements or orders, where to find parenting coordinators, and how parenting coordinators can get involved. Getting Parenting and Support Orders flow chart. The Child Protection Process flow chart.
Negotiating an agreement without giving in Windows of Opportunity: From Cold War to Peaceful Competition in U.S.-Soviet Getting Disputes Resolved: Designing Systems to Cut the Costs of Conflict (with Jeanne . ending up in a bitter fight? . The method of principled negotiation developed at the Harvard Negotiation. Making plans: A guide to parenting arrangements after separation or divorce Will your children enjoy them if they're worried their parents are going to fight or help to shift attention away from what each parent "wants" or is "giving up. If you're still not able to resolve the dispute this way, you may wish to.
An Inside Look at Family Mediation Introduces mediation in family law cases and explains how it works. Toggle navigation Family Law in BC. Parenting apart Parenting apart Describes all the legal terms about parenting after separation that were introduced by the BC Family Law Act and explains how they relate to the Divorce Act legal terms. Access and contact with a child Access Defines access to children and what this means in family law, and sets out some of the different types of access specified, supervised that may be arranged by parents and guardians applies also to grandparents, aunts and uncles, and other relatives.