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We all want to be certain. In fact, our natural gravitation toward what we know often keeps abuse victims in abusive situations.
And familiarity does not guarantee certainty. In fact, nothing guarantees certainty. Regardless of whether or not you have a mental illness, life is full of unknowns that are hard to accept. Acceptance is vital for peace. Once you accept the uncertainty you can be free from the fear of it. You no longer have to be trapped by the familiar.
Then change itself becomes comfortable. The subconscious mind is too smart for that. I really needed it. Everybody experiences them and no-one is immune no matter what you read. Is an unexpected change causing you to reconsider your identity or how you define yourself for example, from the role of a student to a workforce employee?
The next step to finding peace in uncertainty is to release your need for certainty. Release this need to God, your higher power, the universe, or whatever makes you feel free.
The importance of surrender is a concept in the step recovery movement, but it is also important for us all to practice, whether or not you have an addiction. Compared to California, Idaho is slow. With three years of professional writing at a newspaper, I assumed I would have a job within a month or two. It took me nearly 10 months to find a new, steady job. During that time, I was a ball of pent-up worry and stress, fearing our finances would totally drain.
My life was at a complete stop, and I had no control over it. One day about six months in, fed up with how my life was going, I decided to embrace my new, slow speed and take life as it comes , to live more holistically. If you have ever been to Los Angeles or New York, you have seen the mad rush to get somewhere — often ending in a massive traffic jam.
In Idaho, everything is slower. Instead, I take a few minutes out of my day to meditate. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
With rejection after rejection and no actual job prospects on the horizon, life was a waking nightmare. I have very little effect on what happens in the long run.
After so many job rejection letters filling my real and virtual inboxes, and so much time passing without a steady income, I learned to simply let go of the fear. Now that I have a job, I can take a few minutes at my desk to relax, repeat the mantra, and make peace with uncertainty. Speaking of stress, one of the things I discovered while I had no job was the sound of a small waterfall or flowing water can ease your mind.
It suddenly occurred to me why I loved living on the beach. While I was in college in Monterey for two years, I could see the beach from my dorm room. I could be on the beach, listening to the waves, within 10 minutes of even thinking about it. After a hard day at work, I can sit at my desk and relax, flex my creative muscles while the calming sound of water washes the workday troubles away.
I always forget — I forgot to eat the muffin I planned to eat earlier — and it takes time out of my morning. Time I could instead use to finish getting dressed or start writing.
A reader recently asked “how to be at peace with uncertainty, how to let go of fear of the future.” It's a great question, because we all deal with. Human spirit is the ability to face the uncertainty of the future with curiosity and optimism. It is the belief that problems can be solved.
All through college and three years working at a newspaper, I could count the number of times I ate breakfast each month on one hand. Now, I try to start my day with something healthy, something that will give me energy for the day ahead. I tend to err on the side of science, but sometimes I go with a different mantra: He made his own bolo tie with a turquoise centerpiece and sent me a watch band with turquoise in it. As it turns out, turquoise is said to promote happiness, health and good luck.