Contents:

Unraveling A Father's Secrets And 'Sorrows' : NPR

Unraveling A Father's Secrets And 'Sorrows'

I could feel Inga standing behind me and hear her breathing. Our mother, Marit, was sleeping, and my niece, Sonia, had curled up somewhere in the house with a book. As I pulled open a file drawer, I had the abrupt thought that we were about to ransack a man's mind, dismantle an entire life, and without warning a picture of the cadaver I had dissected in medical school came to mind, its chest cavity gaping open as it lay on the table. All at once, I felt relieved he had been cremated.

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I hope it helps them and their families and friends in some way to manage their lives as they confront extremely difficult circumstances. August 31, 2: Kathleen's cousin Mark also died by his own hand a few years later, as did her cousin's daughter Ruth. The day Inga and I began working, the weather outside was heavy. David rated it liked it Aug 11, The book will be of particular interest to those who have suffered this in their own family or who are close with others who have.

Lars Davidsen's filing system was an elaborate code of letters, numbers, and colors devised to allow for a descending hierarchy within a single category. Initial notes were subordinate to first drafts, first drafts to final drafts, and so on. It wasn't only his years of teaching and writing that were in those drawers, but every article he had written, every lecture he had given, the voluminous notes he had taken, and the letters he had received from colleagues and friends over the course of more than sixty years.

My father had catalogued every tool that had ever hung in the garage, every receipt for the six used cars he had owned in his lifetime, every lawnmower, and every home appliance — the extensive documentation of a long and exceptionally frugal history. We discovered a list for itemized storage in the attic: In a small box, I found a bunch of keys. Attached to them was a label on which my father had written in his small neat hand: We spent days in that room with large black garbage bags, dumping hundreds of Christmas cards, grade books, and innumerable inventories of things that no longer existed.

My niece and mother mostly avoided the room.

Wired to a Walkman, Sonia ambled through the house, read Wallace Stevens, and slept in the comatose slumber that comes so easily to adolescents. From time to time she would come in to us and pat her mother on the shoulder or wrap her long thin arms around Inga's shoulders to show silent support before she floated into another room. I had been worried about Sonia ever since her father died five years earlier. I remembered her standing in the hallway outside his hospital room, her face strangely impassive, her body stiffened against the wall, and her skin so white it made me think of bones.

I know that Inga tried to hide her grief from Sonia, that when her daughter was at school my sister would turn on music, lie down on the floor, and wail, but I had never seen Sonia give in to sobs, and neither had her mother. Three years later, on the morning of September 11, , Inga and Sonia had found themselves running north with hundreds of other people as they fled Stuyvesant High School, where Sonia was a student.

They were just blocks from the burning towers, and it was only later that I discovered what Sonia had seen from her schoolroom window. From my house in Brooklyn that morning, I saw only smoke. When she wasn't resting, our mother wandered from room to room, drifting around like a sleepwalker. Her determined but light step was no heavier than in the old days, but it had slowed.

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She would check on us, offer food, but she rarely crossed the threshold. The room must have reminded her of my father's last years. His worsening emphysema shrank his world in stages. I want to thank the author for so bravely telling it like it is!!! I started reading this and couldn't put it down until I was done. I read it in one day. This is a raw and courageous account of one woman's struggle with depression and coming to terms with her absentee father's suicide. She is able to recount significant memories which allow the reader to feel the pain, loss and disappointment of her family that was endured while her father was alive - and then the magnification and subsequent confusion after his death.

The author manages to convey the mental, emotional and spiritual consequences of growing up with out a father.

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The heartbreak, disappointment and confusion that resides in the heart ever day becomes a baseline of thought and feeling that the family cannot escape. It is an emotional, mental, spiritual weight to which the family is anchored with daily sinking reminders. She masterfully weaves in her own memories of her father poignantly throughout the book allowing the reader to feel the story. Her own honest account of her family dysfunction and battle with depression is both heartbreaking and compelling. Such honesty - such truth!!

The author also unselfishly describes her own lifelong battle with depression and her chilling suicide attempt. She has managed to keep her depression at bay by embracing spirituality, seeking truth and stripping herself of ideology that did serve her. The author does not claim to have cured herself of depression; rather she has managed to curb its impact on her life and to render whatever good she may of this disease.

By her own private account, she is providing the reader with a front row seat and a gleam of understanding as to what it feels like to suffer from depression and suicidal thoughts. This is a huge gift to the world and one step in demystifying depression!!! This is a window into one family's story, suffering through and surviving suicide. Kathleen Laplante's memoir explores the long-lasting impact that her father's suicide has had on her family. Roger Laplante died on Kathleen's 21st birthday, the same age his father was when he too died in "suspicious circumstances".

Kathleen's cousin Mark also died by his own hand a few years later, as did her cousin's daughter Ruth. The memoir details Kathleen's family life, her struggle with depression, and her Catholic faith. It was and continues to be a difficult journey. Of particular interest are the unique struggles of families who have lived through suicides and the heavy toll it takes.

The damage includes the loss of the person, but also leaves a lasting and malignant scar on the survivors. There is no getting over it, just living day by day and working to save future generations.

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The book will be of particular interest to those who have suffered this in their own family or who are close with others who have. One person found this helpful.

Writing about something so painful is very difficult. I have met Kathleen and consider her very brave for having undertaken such a brutal journey. I get the feeling she is on her way to making peace with what happened and its role in her outlook on life. I have found help and guidance at the same Abbey that has been a place of spiritual growth for Kathleen.

Unraveling A Father's Secrets And 'Sorrows' : NPR

I am glad I read her book. Kathleen has taken great care in presenting to the reader not only her personal emotional journey but also factual information she researched in order to assist other families suffering the repercussions of a family member's suicide. It is a compelling personal expose as well as a valuable resource.

Beautifully written and touching book. Kathleen Laplante provides an insightful and thought provoking account of her experience as the child of a mostly absent alcoholic father who ultimately committed suicide on an exceedingly important day. As a mental health professional, I am particularly struck by the author's candor about her own struggles with depression and suicidality and with the obstacles to treatment she endured and overcame. The author conveys the powerful impact of her father's death on her family and the questions surrounding it. I was completely engrossed in her courageous exploration of family patterns of depression and suicide, in her spiritual journey, and in her capacity to use her experience to help others.

She is truly an inspiration! This is a difficult subject to talk about. Many people have pre-prejudicial thoughts toward people who have tried to commit suicide or had family members who have taken their own life. While they do not complete the final act, three other family members wrestle intensely with suicidal temptations, also known as suicidal ideation.

Kathleen's conversion back to Catholicism helps her find faith and hope amidst this family trauma, and her candor enlivens the global discussion around the lethal nature of this social, medical, and spiritual issue.

Unraveling My Father's Suicide

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Unraveling A Father's Secrets And 'Sorrows'

Lists with This Book. This book is not yet featured on Listopia. Jul 21, Vera rated it really liked it. The day after Kathleen turned 21 she found out her Dad had committed suicide. She didn't have good memories of him before this, since he drunk horrible and not part of her family much. But his death was hard for her to accept. When she began to check into info of her family history, discovered this not the first suicide in her family. After years of problems herself, realizes she needs to turn her life around. Don't want her children to follow in this same path.

The book lets us know that with fai The day after Kathleen turned 21 she found out her Dad had committed suicide. The book lets us know that with faith and lots of hope we can make changes. Think this book could be a help to others going thru some problems of their own. Jul 06, Amber rated it really liked it. It was very touching to read of her own struggle with depression and suicidal ideations, and inspirational to see her fight to overcome it.

Kathleen does not let her father's suicide define her and does not let it become her legacy. I'm not Catholic, but as a Christian I realize the importance of the place God has in her life and each of ours to provide the hope we need to continue and press on.