Get your free lesson today! Explore the entire Star Trek book collection, apps and more. Get relationship help, parenting advice, healthy recipes, and tips for living a happy life from our author experts. Get access to the best in romance: See More New Releases. Japan Took the J. Six days after an InStyle -worthy wedding in Los Angeles, Lisa Fineberg Cook left behind her little red Jetta, her manicurist of ten years, and her very best friend for the land of the rising sun.
When her husband accepted a job teaching English in Nagoya, Japan, she imagined exotic weekend getaways, fine sushi dinners, and sake sojourns with glamorous expatriate friends. Instead, she's the only Jewish girl on public transportation, and everyone is staring. Loneliness and frustration give way to new and unexpected friendships, the evolution of old ones, and a fresh understanding of what it means to feel different -- until finally a world she never thought she'd fit into begins to feel home-like, if not exactly like home.
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Free eBook available to NEW subscribers only. Must redeem within 90 days. Dec 07, Eveline Chao rated it did not like it. This was boring and emotionally shallow, and I found myself speed-skimming through the last half of it. The most standout problems among many were: She talks about being used to getting her way by throwing tantrums, finds it admirable that her best friend scores room upgrades at fancy hotels by talking condescendingly to hotel staff, etc. The supposed growth trajectory is that the narrator goes from being a JAP to having a more nuanced understand This was boring and emotionally shallow, and I found myself speed-skimming through the last half of it.
The supposed growth trajectory is that the narrator goes from being a JAP to having a more nuanced understanding of other people and cultures, but the examples we are given of this are that she goes from standing in front of a classroom of Japanese girls feeling disdain for what she perceives as their limited worldview and lecturing them about it with utter certainty that her own perspective is the correct one, to standing by a woman in a gas station who's being rude to the cashier feeling disdain for what she perceives as their limited worldview and lecturing them about it with utter certainty that her own perspective is the correct one.
No Japan, in a book that is ostensibly about Japan. Fine, it's a book about her own experience dealing with Japan, not a book about Japan, but there is no effort made to understand the Japanese mindset. A few times she says things like "And then this person did this weird thing. I wondered why but guess I'll never know," and you're left sort of thinking, erm, why didn't you just ask someone why that happened? If not at the time, what about later, back in L.
Another example - she presents a Japanese woman telling her that she laughs with her mouth open like a cow as being this climactic, terrible moment, and you do feel real pain and sympathy for her, but then there is no reflection on why this happened. You could literally ask any Asian person standing within a three-foot radius of you about this and they would tell you that there's a cultural Asian thing about commenting on surface things like weight as a way of making conversation and connecting with people, and a simultaneous imperative to be modest that translates to what Americans would perceive as insults almost being a complimentary, affectionate way of interacting with people - ergo Asian parents who express affection for their children by saying things like, "Eh, I guess she's not TOO ugly.
No self-reflection See examples from previous two points. It almost felt like the author or some editor thought, "Gee, the narrator likes Sex and the City, and that book got attention for its frank talk about sex, so we should put some sex scenes into this book. I could go on for a lot longer but I'll stop now. Oct 27, Audrey rated it really liked it. I tend to enjoy memoirs, especially when they involve Japan. I went into the book excited to read about the Japanese culture and came out feeling like it could have taken place anywhere.
I'm glad that I didn't know it would be like that beforehand, because I probably would have missed out on what turned out to be a great book. Well, very little, a I tend to enjoy memoirs, especially when they involve Japan. Well, very little, at least. I find her to be bratty, snobby, self-involved, and self-inclined. She is the kind of person that some of my friends might occasionally be friends with, and I would just never get it. She's also an avid smoker although she does occasioanlly try to deny this , and anyone that knows me knows that this is an immediate deal breaker for me. I feel bad saying these things about the author, but I'm sure she would think I am too stuffy and moral for her tastes as well, so it's all good.
Our ideas of fun are just very different. Now you might be thinking - but wait, I thought you "really enjoyed this book. It was a fast-paced, witty, fun, and easy read. I would't go so far as to say that it's laugh out loud funny, but I did find myself smiling and laughing in my head on a regular basis. More than that, though, she really does get across what it feels like to be an ex-patriot. I've been an ex-pat for over two years now, and I could relate on so may levels to the things she was going through. I would have dealt with them differently than she did, but she really made me understand that an ex-pat is an ex-pat no matter where they are.
I could have written a similar book whining about Paris. Reading about her experiences made me feel a sense of solidarity with her and helped me to understand her where everywhere else I just couldn't. Oddly enough, despite my complaints, I found this to be an extremely enjoyable read that I literally could not put down.
I read it in two sittings I don't read books in one sitting, so this is pretty awesome for me. Dec 13, Catherine rated it liked it. Cook is one of those superficial, selfish, spoiled brats that are so ubiquitous, especially in L.
Lisa Fineberg Cook, a self-described Jewish American Princess from L.A., leaps at the chance for an exciting adventure when her brand-new husband’s brand-new job takes them to Japan a week after they’re wed. Start reading Japan Took the J.A.P. By the way, don't worry Lisa. Japan Took the J.A.P. Out of Me has ratings and 67 reviews. Eveline said: This was boring and emotionally shallow, and I found myself speed-skimming.
She travels to Japan with her newly wedded husband, who accepts a two-year teaching position in Nagoya. This book, which probably would have worked better as a blog and only a blog, is truly a whine festival for this annoying young woman. There are some funny moments, but I had a hard time getting over Cook's personality. Having been to Japan—with immense gratitude that I have been able to do so—se Cook is one of those superficial, selfish, spoiled brats that are so ubiquitous, especially in L. Having been to Japan—with immense gratitude that I have been able to do so—several times, I found her insensitivity disturbing.
The friendships were of a different nature from her long-time girlfriend relationships in L. I thought she was expecting too much, too soon and had rigid expectations from the friendships with the Japanese women. There was a smidgen of personal growth. But by the end she still seemed overly self-centered and annoying in general, not just in her relationships with the Japanese but also with her husband.
Why do so many great guys hook up with such high maintenance women? Jul 06, Jenna rated it liked it. My friend recommended this book to me because I am a newlywed and an expat, although in London, not Nagoya. He thought I'd be amused by the stories about doing laundry, particularly as I often complain about the lack of clothes dryers jhere in the UK. I read this book in just a day, and found myself laughing out loud toward the beginning I did indeed love the part about laundry and tearing up toward the end the themes of homesickness and changing friendships really resonated with me.
This book My friend recommended this book to me because I am a newlywed and an expat, although in London, not Nagoya. This book certainly wasn't perfect. As other reviewers have noted, the author was not always likeable and often included unnecessary details sex, smoking, drugs that took away from the overall narrative. However, the prose was generally sharp, the stories amusing, and I found this book to be a very satisfying read. It's not really about Japanese culture at all; it's about being an American living abroad, and I'd certainly recommend this to any of my expat friends.
It's nice to know sometimes that you're not the only one in a situation, and being able to laugh at it makes it a lot easier! Dec 22, Kate rated it really liked it Shelves: I normally do not read memoirs, but I decided to try this one since it involves the Japanese culture.
Generally, I enjoy anything that gives me insight in this culture, and this hilarious novel did just that. The novel take the view point of a young women finding herself immersed in a completely foreign world for the sake of her new husband. This novel is very fast paced, and full of insight. I have always wanted to visit and possibly live in Japan, and I think that I want to do so more now.
Co I normally do not read memoirs, but I decided to try this one since it involves the Japanese culture. Cook presents the culture in a very moving and touching way. Although she undergoes some trials, the novel as a whole is very funny. I am really glad I tried this novel, and would really love to read more about her life in Japan. May 18, Lorna Collins rated it it was ok.
Having lived for nearly three years in Japan, I am always curious about how other expats dealt with some of the frustrations we encountered, and also what they enjoyed about their experience.
Out of Me by Lisa Fineberg Cook. She can be very funny. The writer obviously was a spoiled J. See More New Releases. Was good for her to suddenly be plunged into another culture, where the beautiful blond is not desirable nor admired or envied, but is a freak. Out of Me PDF.
Unfortunately, Lisa Cook's attitude completely defined that of the ugly American. For most of the book, she whines and criticizes, judges and complains about the Japanese and their culture. She was a teacher! Why didn't she do her homework before moving there? The only reasons I gave this one two stars was Having lived for nearly three years in Japan, I am always curious about how other expats dealt with some of the frustrations we encountered, and also what they enjoyed about their experience. The only reasons I gave this one two stars was because, at the end, there was some awareness that 'different' wasn't bad - just different, and that we shared some common challenges.
There are several other much better books on living in Japan. Skip this one and read one of those. View all 4 comments. Jun 29, Susan Tomi added it. Don't waste your time reading this book. Cook starts out as a selfish, spoiled princess and ends up after her experience in Japan as a selfish spoiled princess. She whines and complains and I could never figure out what her sweet husband saw in her other than that she was pretty.
I kept waiting for her to have some great "ah ha" moment but it never happened. I was surprised that she did have a clue about poetry because she comes across as a shallow nit wit. This book was like a very long boring Don't waste your time reading this book. This book was like a very long boring magazine article Sep 05, Victoria Gurr rated it did not like it. This book was awful, I tried to speed read just to finish it. She was not very accommodating to other cultures, nor did she try to make the best of it and try to learn how Japanese live.
She just wallowed in her self pity. She came across very spoiled and ungrateful. Plus there was a bunch of random graphic sex scenes, why they were important to the book is beyond me. Oct 22, Haley Mathiot rated it really liked it. Lisa and her husband Peter are newlyweds—like, they were married four days ago—and they are moving to Japan. Lisa tells the first year of her life in Japan, and how she goes from a Jewish American Princess JAP with fancy cars and money and really good food to a housewife and a teacher who cooks and cleans.
Lisa tells a heartwarming story of the first year of a beautiful marriage and hilarious adventures in Japan. This book was really cute. I really liked it a lot. Lisa is the kind of girl who at first seems to be the epitome of a princess—perfect body, favorite past time is shopping, cries when she breaks a nail. One of my favorite parts of the story was when Lisa was so overwhelmed with teaching English, and her husband was being a typical guy and gave her a really pathetic gift for her 30th birthday. It was a very good picture of marriage, too. I sat down and read the whole second half of this book in one sitting.
Dec 30, Erika rated it it was ok. I initially picked up this book with enthusiasm. I am American-born and have spent significant time in Japan, so I expected many moments of recognition while reading her escapades in an admittedly very different land, with different culture, food and language. Those moments happened in the very beginning, and went downhill from there. My biggest issue with this book is that I spent a lot of time and energy trying to relate with the author, but every so often my inner monologue would go "my God, s I initially picked up this book with enthusiasm.
My biggest issue with this book is that I spent a lot of time and energy trying to relate with the author, but every so often my inner monologue would go "my God, she's just so SPOILED. Every time I read a passage about how horrible really, it was only different things were there, it left me shaking my head. She puts forward minimal effort to understand and relate to the culture, and instead looks for every possible cue that she is being marginalized.
She spends a huge amount of time wishing she were somewhere else. She appears to learn about ten words in Japanese, and seems to be perpetually annoyed when she has to interact with people that don't speak English. Her humor at times is sarcastic and biting towards people who don't deserve it if you look at their actions with THEIR cultural lens , and it hurts to read it.
Now, on some level I get it. The giggly-ness of the younger female population can be grating, especially if you feel like you're the butt of the joke. But if you go to a foreign country, you need to stop acting like everyone needs to acculturate to YOU. The author does none of this. I had a lot of hopes for this book. I was so, so sadly disappointed in the result. Oct 26, Gaby rated it liked it Shelves: Funny and engaging, Japan Took the J. The True Story of a Domesticated Princess reads like a mix of chicklit, travelogue, and memoir.
The book is arranged chronologically and into the six main areas of culture shock: Lisa Fineberg Cook doesn't pull any punches - she is as harsh towards herself as she is to her new acquaintances, which makes for an entertaining narrative. We learn of her frustration and isolation Funny and engaging, Japan Took the J.
We learn of her frustration and isolation as she is constantly stared at, described as Meg Ryan, and is treated, albeit politely, as an outsider. As she learns to navigate the city of Nagoya and finds her own friends, we enjoy the moments of triumph as Lisa wins the respect and affection of those around her. As to be expected in books of this nature, Lisa becomes more of a sympathetic character as she learns to adjust to the world around her.
I thoroughly enjoyed Japan Took the J. The True Story of a Domesticated Princess. I recommend this book highly. It'll likely be particularly hilarious to people interested in Japan or those who have moved overseas or those who have had to adjust to a new environment most of us! Downtown Press; 1 edition October 20, , pages. Review copy provided by the publisher. Jul 17, Christina rated it it was ok. I bought this book mostly for its title. I am not exactly sure when Mrs.
Cook was in Japan but it must have been early 90s. I am sure since I've not been in over a decade that things in Japan have changed some. This book was mildly humorous but mostly, it bored me. The writer obviously was a spoiled J. Glad Japan did that for her.
Has she reverted I bought this book mostly for its title. Has she reverted back? I guess we'll never know because "L. Oct 20, April rated it really liked it Shelves: She's a stereotypical Jewish American Princess, which is definitely not a bad thing, but it makes for some funny culture shock moments. Read the rest of my review here.
Apr 08, Carol rated it liked it. A little hard to keep reading at first, since I was disgusted with the author's attitude - SO spoiled, selfish and insensitive. But it was a learning experience for her, and she became somewhat more tolerable over time. Jan 21, Triss rated it liked it. Jan 12, Hope rated it liked it. I didn't appreciate the excessive whining in the beginning. By the end the author voice was a lot better, and reflects the changes she went through in perspective living abroad.
Nov 14, Katherine Fuller rated it liked it. Love reading about ex-pats. Jul 01, Gigi rated it liked it. I found Lisa a slightly more likable protagonist than most of the reviewers here, it seems. She can be very funny. And I have to admit that even a lot of the negative things she wrote about her Japan experience resonated with me. As far as her character traits, at least she has some awareness that she is selfish, spoiled, etc! I guess I can tolerate bad qualities if the person has the insight to know he or she has those qualities: Also, I was in Japan at around same time Lisa was. In the days I found Lisa a slightly more likable protagonist than most of the reviewers here, it seems.
In the days before Facebook and easy email correspondence, being foreign in Japan could be extremely isolating psychologically. I think Japanese people also can experience lots of isolation in Japan. One thing I liked about the book was the way in which the sections were divided by theme, eg, shopping, laundry, etc. It would have been fun if Lisa had made reference to some of the Japanese pop culture stuff from that time.
Reading this book reminded me of how alienated I felt at times in Japan. It is really hard to be the object of people's curiosity and stared at all the time. And while there was only student I really disliked a kid who harrassed me by making sexual noises or gestures when I walked by , I likewise did not feel that much of a connection with many of the students.
I was a bit relieved to see that someone else Lisa seemed to feel largely the same. I had an experience similar to Lisa's seeing a man brutalizing a woman on a train platform. In my case, I saw a couple arguing and then the man hit the woman in the face with a newspaper. It was such a horrible feeling of shock, anger, and helplessness. In Lisa's case, it must have been disappointing to see her husband not want to get involved whether she admits she was disappointed or not.
Japan tests relationships in that way, ie, for women, seeing how their men react to varying degrees of mistreatment of women or just even more rigid sex roles. I have to say that some of my male coworkers were more disgusted by the way women were treated than I was. I understood Lisa's disgust about the in your faceness of porn.
I liked a lot of Japanese men I knew, but there is sort of an accepted creepiness about male sexuality in Japan. I was very surprised though by Lisa's claim that she saw girls sitting on male teachers' laps. I never saw anything even remotely that inappropriate at my school although one male teacher did ask me in front if a class if I went into onsen naked! I felt bad when Lisa relayed the story about the Japanese woman at the school making fun of her laugh.
It is hard forever to be an outsider, no matter how much you know or how long you have been in Japan. Eventually one realizes that there is no assimilation for outsiders in Japan; you never integrate into their society if you are not Japanese. In fairness to the woman who sort of mocked Lisa, very few of us would believe that our teasing could really hurt the feelings of a celebrity, right?
It would have been interesting if Lisa had gone to the woman later and told her how hurt she was.
I am sure the woman would have felt terrible. I do not think there was as much hostility towards her as she believed. Probably more just shyness and misunderstanding. When she laughs at the Japanese people doing rock-paper-scissors - if they looked at her "sharply," it was probably because they did not know what was so funny.
And when she bangs her face, I doubt they were laughing at her pain or humiliation. They probably just did not know what to do or felt embarrassed for her. I found Lisa's vulgarity and foul mouth extremely off putting. That is mostly what made her less likable to me than she may have otherwise been. And when Lisa tells us towards the end of the book that she smoked pot with her friend on the Vegas trip, I was just kind of disgusted and done with her for some reason.