Contents:
You know you're getting old when you can't walk past a bathroom without You know you're 60 when getting lucky means a short wait in the doctor's office. Are you “getting on in years,” or know someone who is? Thinking of changing your birth certificate to show a more favorable birth date? You may lie about your .
When you turn 60, you really have a good view of all ages. So… what does that make you?
Just think, this is your 60th birthday cake. Keep having birthdays so I can keep having cake every year on this day. Then people could really enjoy the celebration without feeling really old. Oh well, happy 60th birthday. How can they say my life isn't a success? Have I not for more than sixty years got enough to eat and escaped being eaten? It moves from your head to your ears and your nose.
I recently turned Practically a third of my life is over. With sixty staring me in the face, I have developed inflammation of the sentence structure and definite hardening of the paragraphs. Be the biggest hit at the party. Rule Facebook and Instagram. These customized funny birthday videos are the coolest gift ever, and will make you look like a creative comic genius.
Click the Play button - go "full screen" - watch this sample: See more styles - find out how easy it is to get yours HERE. Or back to the Home Page: Laughter is the best aphrodisiac. Never reveal how many cats you have. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size. The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again. I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier. If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country. And last but not least: I don't exercise because it makes the ice jump right out of my glass. You could run these walking jokes over to your friends but why not just e-mail it to them!
Short Term Investment A wealthy ninety years old tycoon is meeting with is financial advisor. The easiest way to find something that's lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you? A penny saved is a government oversight. The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. He who hesitates is almost certainly right.
Did you ever notice? The Roman Numerals for forty 40 are 'XL'. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble. There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it.
For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.. The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
While writing a report near an elementary school, a little girl came up to me and asked if I was an officer. At NobleWorks Cards, our hilariously humorous selection of old age jokes will have you and your friends and relatives laughing so hard that you'll feel young again - if you don't die laughing. One of her criteria is a man with regular bowel movements. They've been gone three years and you still cook enough for your husband to have seconds and thirds. Funny Perks of Being Over Sixty.
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain Why the early bird gets the worm Life isn't always fair and maybe it was my fault Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies don't spend more than you can earn and reliable strategies adults, not children, are in charge.