The Very Next New Thing: Commentaries on the Latest Developments That Will Be Changing Your Life

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We tend to get happy and excited, then angry, frustrated, sad, or even depressed, as an example. Have you ever taken the time to actually become aware of the habitual words you use to describe the emotions that you feel? The problem is that most often we do not choose our words consciously to describe our emotions.

Any emotions we experience that are distressing, we have habitual words that we unconsciously attach to them, and the challenge of course is the words we attach to our experience become our experience.

Words have a biochemical effect on the body. I first became consciously aware of the power of the words we use to label the experience of our emotions during an intense negotiation, more than a decade and a half ago. I shared information to the other side that I thought would help my two business partners and myself to cut through the positioning and show good faith. Unfortunately, rather than reciprocating with good faith, the other side ended up using that information to try to leverage us in an unjust way to close the deal that would not be to our advantage.

To say it was upsetting at the time would be an understatement. I was frustrated and angry , but in the midst of my own emotion, I was literally jarred by the intensity of one of my partners. I was trying to calm him down — the intensity of his emotion struck me because it seemed over the top to my anger and frustration. It certainly peeves me a bit. I thought to myself, I would never use this word to describe how I was feeling…but then again, I had never been that calm in an unjust situation.

It seemed so ridiculous.

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Is it possible that the words we attach to our experience, actually become our experience? Do words have a biochemical effect? Over the next few weeks, I began to notice the pattern of language that different people had and how their language patterns produced a magnification of their emotion or a softening of it. So I decided to try a day challenge with myself where I would first identify the emotions that I experienced most often that were most distressing, and find a new word — a word that would soften or actually seem ridiculous to break my own pattern of thought and feeling.

Focus On The Lesson, Not The Problem

I got my first opportunity after a long series of connecting flights, all of which were late. I arrived at my hotel at two in the morning, knowing I had to be up to speak at 8 a. The clerk looked at me perplexedly and then broke into a smile. I smiled back; my pattern was broken.

As ridiculous and overly simplistic as this sounds, the simple replacement of the word I used within my own vocabulary, broke my pattern. Could it really be this easy? Just by changing the habitual words we use to describe the emotions within ourselves, could we change the pattern of how we felt and therefore the quality of our lives?

Ten days turned into a month and I can tell you, beyond a shadow of a doubt, it was a life-transforming experience.

This is how you create a level of choice instead of a habitual reaction. I call this Transformational Vocabulary because it gives you the power to change your experiences in life by taking the most negative feelings you experience and lowering their intensity to the point where they no longer control you. It also can be used to take positive experiences and increase them to even greater heights of pleasure. Everyone is a salesperson. When you sell, be transparent, honest, and to the point. You only improve your self-confidence by becoming good at something.

How do you get good? By learning, doing, seeing results, and repeating that process for years.

Your confidence will grow slowly every day. So be nice to each other. And respect that your friends also have lives of their own. Especially when you grow older, and have more responsibilities and less time. But the connection stays. Everyone wants to be famous and they do everything to keep up appearances. YouTubers, Instagram models, millionaire entrepreneurs: But you only see the outside.

When someone takes the time to give you criticism, you should be thankful. You can use criticism to improve yourself, your product, or your service. Or, if the criticism makes no sense, it can make you angry, which is also a good thing. That type of anger is useful.

Change your words, change your life

You can only influence it by eating healthy, exercising, and not using your body as a toilet. Just get off your ass and get moving, you lazy mofo. No, do it every single day of your healthy life. See it as practice for the difficult times of life because the stronger you are, the better. You control your thoughts. That means you decide what you do with your life. I need to be rich, own a fancy car, and buy a big house.

But I was thinking all wrong. You can be happy with your current life.

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So instead of consuming so much information, products, and entertainment from others, spend a fraction of that time on creating something yourself. I host a free weekly personal development newsletter. Not a member yet? February 20, 23 Comments. Helen Keller said it best: Never let anything hold you back when you think of ideas.

Build relationships on a firm foundation Here are some wrong reasons to be in a relationship: See yourself as a salesperson Everyone is a salesperson.

Learn to love criticism When someone takes the time to give you criticism, you should be thankful.

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