Sleeping Like a Baby : A Sensitive and Sensible Approach to Solving Your Childs Sleep Problems: A Pe

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He is very bright, tested gifted. We don't worry about him academically. We have had him involved with scouting to encourage bonding with other boys his age, but recently he doesn't want to participate in activities. He really doesn't like team sports, only does the regular PE at school, but nothing more. It's difficult to get him motivated, and he often dawdles in normal daily things. He has "selective hearing" only responses to what and when he wants and mostly with attitude. I feel like I have a teenager!

Talking and taking privileges away isn't working. Thanks, any suggestions would be gratefully received. Lesley, I think many parents feel as if they have teenagers years before they actually do. That independence runs through many of the questions I have already answered. My suggestion is to talk less to your son. Your son has learned to tune you out when you talk and talk. I suggest that you switch your techniques. Just stand there, close to him, silent and curious until he comes up with the answer. You need to become a bit more mysterious and shift more responsibility on to him.

But all this is normal. The one thing that worries me about your son is that he seems to have no friends. Please go talk to the teacher and find out whether he is also isolated all day at school. If he is truly without friends, he may be growing depressed and angry. I suggest that you talk with him about whether he is unhappy in school. I grew up with 2 older brothers and I have 3 boys of my own now so I kind of know that it's hard for them to "be still", but I wish others knew as well Thank you for the article, which just confirms what I believed about boys.

I will share with others--thank you! Yes, it is sure tough for most boys to be still. I watched them all move, wiggle, squirm, look around, touch each other, and wiggle some more. They were listening to the program. How do you know the difference between normal and abnormal? My son has been diagnosed with adhd, anxiety disorder and pdd,nos all at different times over the course of his 5 year lifespan. However, I have also had other professionals tell me that he is normal.

He is very very active but can attend if it's something he's interested in. He does seem to get over stimulated at times. Loud noises bother him. We just finally got him potty trained about 4 months ago. He turned 5 in December He still wears a pull up at night. He also was 9 weeks premature. He also had a speech delay, not speaking much until he was almost 3. Also a fine motor delay with some low tone. His pronunciation is very good now but he does seem to have a very extensive vocabulary and seems to use the words in the right context, but when you ask him what the words mean he says he doesn't know.

He also tends to repeat things alot sometimes times until you tell him, Yes,I know. You already told me. In a nice way of course! He was in an early intervention preshool until this school year. They told me there that he was ready for a typical preschool so I enrolled him in our Catholic preschool. The teacher just couldn't handle him. He ended up getting suspended for aggressive behavior, so rather than setting him up for more failure, I put him back in his early intervention preschool.

I know this is long and I know you haven't seen my child but I just don't know where to go from here. Could you please advise me? Ellen, it can be really confusing to get multiple diagnoses. My suggestion is that you stick with one doctor, perhaps your pediatrician, who sees the health in your son, and with the one preschool you trust the most, and stop getting more opinions. It is clear that your son has some developmental delays and a somewhat different quirky brain, and problems with speech, but in time and with more development he may well grow into being a completely normal boy.

The diagnosis of pdd. I have known boys who were given the diagnosis of pdd. Give him love, more time and a good school situation Hi My son is 4 yrs old. Hedoes not like to listen to his teacher. Is this normal or is there a way for me to make him listen to his teacher or even to me. Four-year-old boys not listening to teachers is completely normal. It is often hard to get them to leave one task and move to another.

I love going to preschools where the teachers sing children into transitions and changes, but most teachers rely on multiple verbal reminders for children this age. It can be stressful in the house at times. While my boys are well behaved for the most part they have their moments.

My big issue is with my older son just not listening to me. There are time when he just down right ignores me. I know that this can be typical behavior, but is there anything we can do to get him to listen more often. There are times when I have to ask him several times to do or not to do something.

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He loves to push our buttons. He also likes to try to run away from us when we are trying to talk to him or if we are in public he thinks it is funny to escape our grasp and try to run. Now most of the time he listens and stops, but not every time. What can we do to help us and him get through this.

They will learn to listen better as they grow older. Look over some of the answers I have given to mothers of two and three and four-year-olds and you will see that all moms struggle with this issue. My little 5-year-old boy has decided to call me names when he is upset. So far, the names aren't too offensive: He seems to just lay them on thicker and louder. I want him to understand that name calling hurts people's feelings.

I also want him to learn how to express his frustration in a more constructive way. He needs to see you get angry and upset with him. Do you want me to call you names? He is picking up these names at preschool and he feels the exciting power of them, but he needs to know that they are not appropriate for adults, and certainly not for the mother who loves him. If he keeps it up, he should lose something he wants. Take away a snack, or television, or the computer.

Then ask him to apologize and get him to pledge not to call you names again. Keep at it until you win this one. So how do I balance the physical drive of my 3 year old son with my drive to teach him. I try to make things fun and interesting but after 30 seconds he's back to tackling, tickling and wanting to "destroy" things! Should I be concerned he seems so much further behind than his sister was at this age Jody, I certainly understand the desire to teach our children things right from the beginning. I also understand the occasional frustration of trying to teach a three-year-old pupil with a thirty-second attention span, but before you get too frustrated, let me say a couple of things.

First, when babies are born they are learning machines. They are taking in everything they see, touch, hear and smell. When he is with you, your son is learning every second; he is watching you intently and inhaling lessons about love, about people and family, about food, cars, traffic, grown-ups, road signs, etc. I cannot add enough etceteras to capture how much he sees.

Just talk with him, laugh with him, have adventures with him. God save us from educational toys. The world that he sees at your side is the best education for him. He becomes a full-contact learner: He may continue this form of experimentation when he is fourteen and shoots a hockey puck against a wood wall in the cellar. Should you worry that your three-year-old is behind where his sister was at the same age? The trajectory of boy development is different from that of girls, but it is completely trustworthy.

That boy is now a wonderful, kind, self-controlled teenager, a gifted student, musician, singer and…oh yes, a ferocious wrestler. First, my son has recently become more conscious of what others will think. He may refuse to wear soemthing because someone will laugh at him. I have never used this kind of dialogue in the house so I am nto sure where it is coming from. Any recommendatiosn would be appreciated. Second, my son is generally well behaved and good mannered, but I find when with friends that are doing something wrong, he is one of the first on the train to do the same, and previous family rules go out the window.

I have talked to him about being a leader and using his own brain, and that has worked a bit, but I am wondering if you have any other recommendations. I want him to be a leader not a follower He also wants to be accepted and to make friends, which is why he is likely to go along with the crowd. The desire to go along with the group, to like what others like, to be accepted is completely human.

Let me ask you a question: Most of us do. Parents sometimes become irrationally afraid that their son or daughter will give up his or her individuality for the group. The truth is, they do a little, but not in terrible ways; most of us ran with the pack for a while in school, but managed to become individuals in our own right. When you urge your son to be his own person, to think for himself, this is what he wants to say to you: Mom, I want to please you and I certainly want you to love me, but when you talk about my being a leader, it sounds like you want me to be different than other boys.

If I do that, they may not like me and I may not have any friends. A boy has to be a part of a group to be a leader. That's how leaders get practice; they start by leading their friends. I have a 2 year old who has recently developed major anxiety about taking afternoon naps and going to bed. I'm not referring to making sure that his stuffed animals are perfectly placed on his bed I thought it was manipulation to stay up but he appears to be VERY stressed by it all.

Erin, your question takes me back to the days when my daughter was two years old and she developed a fear of spiders and a total phobia about grasshoppers. I remember that she could not go to sleep until we, either her mother or I, had done a painstaking search for grasshoppers in her room, looking under the bed, searching the back and the front of curtains, etc.

I cannot remember how long it lasted, one summer perhaps, but it was absolutely endless while it went on. Why and when did it stop? It just went away. I am hoping that will be the case with your son. Children have anxieties, and young children often develop specific anxieties about going to sleep at night or being alone. It is the loss of their parents and then, more subtly, the loss of consciousness that is scary to them.

Some of them then develop beliefs that everything has to be in place in order for them to feel safe. The problem is, as you well know, that their requirements for safety begin to mount and you are straightening the wheels on the toys and closing the eyes on the dinosaurs. My guess is that your son is suddenly feeling the aloneness of taking a nap. Ironically, he is more scared because he is older and capable of bigger thoughts and bigger fears.

He just needs your comfort, your love and your reassurance. But two-year-olds are another matter. Their fears come and go, their phobias come and go. Most children have transient mental disorders in childhood that they outgrow. He's doing very well academically kindergarten ,but ever since prek teachers have been concerned about his inattention. He'll notice the crack on the hallway wall, the way the teacher positions her hands to hold a book, a new outfit or hairdo,or the moon during the day but he never finishes his assignments on time unless the teacher isolates him and he sometimes gets distracted during storytime so that he can't answer questions about the story.

This could be ADD. Is there anything I can do at home,as far as behavior management or training go that can help him overcome his inattention? I would be a very rich man. I want you to go back to the Kindergarten teachers and ask them four questions. What happens between the years five and thirty-five is that they learn to pay attention, at least to stuff that is important to them or to the people they love.

Yes, there are things you can do at home. Read to him, play games with him, listen to songs and books on tape. But most importantly, let him play with his toys by himself. Watch to see whether, when he is engaged in fantasy play with toys he loves, he is able to sustain his attention for long periods of time. If he can do that, I hope you will worry less about him. If your son is completely unable to pay attention to his own play, then you may have your work cut out for you.

You will have to help him lengthen his attention span. I suggest that you engage him in compelling tasks, like helping you cook. Show him how to boil water, let him drop the spaghetti into it, have him wash carrots and watch you cut them. Give him a big spoon and have him stir a bowl full of batter. Give him physical tasks that are meaningful and require his concentration. Is he able to focus on those? Chances are good that he can. Hi I am having trouble potty training my 3 year old granson he sometimes does really good doing 1 then there are the days where he won't go to the potty mind you we have to keep reminding him to go then there is the issue on 2 he absolutely refuses to use the potty on this one, please any advice would be appreciated.

Becky, many three-year-old boys are neither ready nor interested in being potty trained. Some parents wait until their sons actually express an interest in peeing in a potty, or express disgust about having a poop in their diaper. I would back off and not fight with him about it for a couple of weeks, at least. Please buy a book on toilet training that involves using rewards and positive reinforcement. When you start up with toilet training again, I would use a reward-based program.

She or he has helped many parents with toilet training. Hi, I am the mom of 2 boys. One is 6 and one is 3. I also have a 9 yr. Recently I have noticed that my 6 yr. Is this a "typical" developmental stage for boys? Or is it someting that I should further look into? Whining is seen in almost all girls and boys, and at many ages, but some children whine more than others. I would spend a little alone time with him and talk to him about whether he is annoyed and unhappy these days. Suggest to him that it is tough to be the middle child sometimes and ask him whether he can express his wishes in ways other than whining.

You may be delighted to find that he is ready to cut back his whining if he feels he has your full attention at certain moments. He does quite well academically, grasping concepts very easily, and also excels in sports. The notes that we get occassionally from his teacher is that he needs support in following directions or in listening. He just likes to argue his point. Example, " Why did that man jump over the fence" we answer, "Because he needed to catch the ball, his response "No, I think he was just trying to get some excercise. Is he just pushing boundaries to see how far he can get.

His Dad thinks he will make a great defense attorney some day. You have a curious, intellectual, imaginative and confident boy. He is an only child who is comfortable with talking to adults and with occasionally challenging their conventional thinking. He may well grow up to be a defense attorney, or a scientist or a journalist who asks the President of the United States tough questions at press conferences. I'm a teacher, and am in a middle school for the 1st time this year.

The boys drive me crazy! But, I realize that I probably just don't know how to teach them the way they need. I grew up with sisters, and had little contact with boys. So, I admit to not understanding their needs. I now have a 3. I need to learn how to deal with boys! Can you recommend a course or workshop that can help me learn? Bonnie, I think it is great that you want to learn more about how to teach boys. Yes, I have a suggestion: Middle school boys can be challenging, but if they think you like and respect them, and if they know they cannot frighten and manipulate you, they will be great for you…most of the time.

Thompson, I just want to tell you what a huge help this page is to all of us moms of boys. I see bits of my 3-year-old son in several of the questions posted and am using some of the advice you've given. I can't believe how involved your answers are. I wish my other doctors provided such useful insight! Recently, I had to withdraw my son from school, because he refused to sit down during story time or he sat down for a few moments while the teachers taught the other children their colors,shapes,numbers and alphabets. I am proud of the fact that my son can count to ,recognizes shapes beyond the standard 4, he can read, he knows the 7 continents,and the 50 states.

When I would pick him up from school I would be approached by his teachers asking me whether or not I knew that he could read. I was told by his teaches that maybe my son was bored because he knew the lessons that were being taught. What can I do in order to help me and the teachers to deal with my son when he doesn't want to sit or complete his lessons.

I stated to his new teachers that teaching him Spanish, or even working on his handwriting will help him to focus, what else can we do? Melissa, it sounds as if you have a very bright boy, someone who has a natural gift for academics. His mind may be so far out in front of the lessons the other children are receiving that when the teachers starts with the, "This is a circle, this is a triangle…" he immediately gets bored and restless.

It sounds as if his teachers recognized the problem but could not find a solution to it because, despite his academic gifts, he may be too young to sit still or entertain himself for long reading his own book or working on his own project in the back of the classroom. I hope you can move him to a smaller preschool center where he can get individual attention, someone to sit with him or keep him supplied with books.

Even better might be a Montessori school where children do individual "mat work" throughout the day, so that every child is moving at his or her own speed and the teachers are trained to manage a class of children working in that fashion. I don't know what your preschool options are going to be, but let me suggest that when you are searching for a new preschool, I would politely describe the situation at the old school and ask how they imagine they would handle it. Perhaps you can find some creative folks who aren't baffled by a very bright boy. Hi, I am a first time mother with twins.

They are 2 years-old now, a boy and a girl.

International Journal of Pediatrics

My duaghter is very independant, but my son is so attached to that I can't even walk across the room from him with out him crying and screaming till i return to him. He was the smaller twin, but now he is bigger and out weighs his twin sister by 5 pounds. At dinner he insist on holding my arm while he eats which means i cannot move from my seat without a screaming fit. During movie night he insist on being heald while I stand up while he watches the movie. If i try to sit before he is ready, he crys and screams till i stand up again. He will only go to sleep at night if he gets to lay on me till he falls asleep.

I feel like I cannot spend the amount of time I need with my daughter too because of this issue because i am always either holding my son or he is holding my arm. To make things worse, I have a bad case of tendinosis in my right wrist, so even with my brace on the pain is still unbearable holding him sometimes. Any suggestions or hints would be helpful. You are going to need to help your son learn that he can manage his anxiety and that may mean letting him cry.

Tell him that your arm hurts so much that you cannot hold him any longer; let him see the pain in your eyes and hear the pain in your voice. You can sit on the couch and cuddle him next to you, perhaps with his sister on one side and your son on the other, but explain to him with conviction that you can no longer stand and cannot hold him.

You need to have two people putting these children to bed for a period of weeks or even a month or two. You and the other person should alternate putting your son and daughter to bed. Grandma or whoever will be with you. It would be enormously helpful to him if he had such a thing. You cannot force it, but you can encourage it. My 4 yr -old son is really wellbehaved in school! But the very moment he reaches home he starts throwing his blocks,jumping on furniture or riding his bike without a helmet! No matter wht I say,he will never clean up his toys!

I am tired of time- outs ya,they do work fine! But is there any other way to make him well-behaved? I will really appreciate your help in this case! Kirti, I am delighted to hear that your son is well-behaved at school. That means he has the internal controls to meet adults expectations. However, after being so self-controlled all day when he comes home he wants to cut loose, relax and have his mom pick things up for him.

The Number One Question About Boys

The items you mention require separate approaches. He needs a place where he can throw things—preferably basketballs and whiffle balls, not blocks—without hurting something. The bike is easy. Put the bike out of reach, or put a lock on it and only open it when he puts a helmet on. No four-year-old wants to pick up toys. My son will turn 4 yrs old on Feb. He is in preschool and does very well. He loves reading will sit for as long as you read to him. My problem with him is that he knows how to aggravate, I like to call it picking.

I two older girls, 18 and 15, and a live in caregiver. He is constantly getting yelled at by the girls because he does things just to annoy them. He does the same thing to me if I am not giving him my full attention. Time out ends up with me getting so upset I just want to scream.

I have spent an hour picking him up and returning him to the time out spot all the while, not talking to him. My husband just has to say get up here and sit down and he does it without any struggle. I just want some control over my house again, what do I do? I have a 5 year old son who at time will not keep still. He is focused on playing all of the time. He's is constantly looking for more attention. I strongly believe this is because of his nephew who is 11 months.

Even though they love each other, there's constant competition between the both of them. I feel that my son feels that my grandson is getting all of the attention that my son use to received from others. I tell my son that I see him and I will always see him. I tell my son constantly that I love him as well.

Whenever attention is on my grandson, my son yells, "what about me, hey what about me? I don't know what else to do. As for his sense of loss that he is not the cherished baby of the family any more, talk to him about that.

Do you sometimes wish you could be the young one again? I have two boys ages 9 and 11 and they are constantly fighting, arguing and bickering, yet when I step in, I am accused of favoring one over the other. Although my oldest is a bit smaller than my 9 year old, he seems to be the one that causes most of the issues between the two of them. I grew up with a sister that was 7 years older than me and we never did more than scream a few names at one another and it was over. My boys may give a courtesy yell before they are throwing punches and rolling around, threatening the others timely demise, at other times, one just jumps on the other; leaving me saying what the heck just happened?!?!?!

I just don't understand what I can do to ease the tension between them. I have tried telling them not to involve me in every skirmish, however that has ended with one or the other hurt or crying. They do get along famously at times just the conflict seems to override the harmony in their relationship. Abby, please go back up to the top of this blog and read the answer that I wrote for Nicole. Whenever you can, I want you to move two rooms away and decline to decide the matter.

I want both of you to separate and go to your rooms. My guess is that their harmonious times outweigh their fighting times by a ratio of five to one. I believe that harmony and furious competitiveness exist side by side in your sons, and will for a long time.

How can I get my 9yr old boy to pick up after himself? To have some responsibility in his room with his own stuff. It's like a tornado hits it everyday..?

AnnMarie, is it important to have his room neat every day? Can you just close the door and ignore it? You are almost certainly the only one who thinks it is important.

Sleep Health Issues for Children with FASD: Clinical Considerations

Working side by side, you can show him how to clean a room to your standards. If you keep that up for a couple of years, he will either: I have a question regarding my 5 year old son. Do you feel time outs are an appropriate disciplinary tactic for hitting or saying mean words to his sister which happens often or his mother which happens less often? Even if I try to get the 2 kids to work it out on their own, shouldn't I still tell him that he shouldn't say mean words or hit people.

Deborah, you may disagree with me, but I think there is a difference between calling a sibling a name and calling a mother a name. How old is his sister? Is this morally attractive? Is it inevitable between siblings? However, I know why you worry about this name-calling behavior: It is unpleasant to listen to, and you are afraid that he is going to grow up to be a nasty person. If it is driving you crazy at home; sure, give him a time out.

When it comes to a boy insulting his mother, however, I have a different reaction. Respect for parents and other adults is essential. If he calls you a name, immediately address it with directness and anger: Do you expect me to do nice things for you like make you dinner, give you a snack, drive you places that you want to go when you are insulting me? He will quickly reform his ways if you refuse to do motherly things for him. Doctor, what are your thoughts on spanking? I'm not talking about using a belt or any other object or the skin-turning-red type of spanking.

I'm speaking of a lightly firm palm of the hand connected to a child's behind. And, of course, excessive hitting and belittling is child abuse. But the real reason I do not recommend spanking is that: Getting upset with a child, making your expectations clear and rewarding good behavior work the vast majority of the time. Often, the child does not remember the lesson; he or she only remembers a red-faced parent who was totally out of control.

You may be aware that spanking has been outlawed in the European Union, so that families in Germany, France and other industrialized nations are not permitted to hit their children. Thank you so much for your advice about my 2 year old son and his anxieties about taking naps and going to bed. It never occurred to me that he might be feeling a sense of aloneness during these times.

It was very helpful to know that your child grew out of her phobias;. And, yes, my daughter grew out of her phobias to be quite a fearless girl who made her parents nervous. My son is 5 and a half years old and attends Kindergarten. He has been going to school since he has been two. He is adopted and I am a work at home mom so I can be there as he grows up.

He has always been what people call a real boys boy. Very active and somewhat immature at times socially. He is an incredibly picky eater. At 3 and a half years he came to us and told us that he didn't want to eat meat because it used to be alive. We told him that we understood his feelings, but because he wouldn't eat many things with protein, that for his health he should have it once or twice a week to get some. He agreed, but no more than that. Anyway, recently, he has been getting very frustrated and it's affecting his work in Kindergarten which isn't like it used to be when I was a kid.

He hates school, will adamantly not do what the teacher says or now, to avoid consequences, he tries delaying tactics. Anyway, he is beligerant to the teacher, won't sit still, talks to everyone in his class. The teacher says he is very bright, but he is not learning his letters, and when he gets the slightest bit frustrated he quits. He doesn't like any loud noises and gets angry and physical with the other kids. I have requested an evaluation at school. Its just seeping into our home now and he doesn't listen without being told twenty times.

Praise doesn't work at all. Researchers are beginning to understand the cellular and metabolic changes resulting from chronic sleep loss which can even lead to neuronal loss and permanent cognitive deficits [ 29 , 30 ]. When children sleep poorly, the sleep of their caregivers and of other children are also affected [ 31 ].

Persistent sleep difficulties in all age groups are associated with an increased prevalence of diabetes [ 32 ], obesity [ 33 ], cardiovascular problems [ 34 ], depression and suicide attempts, more so in adolescents [ 35 ]. Many of the deficits seen from sleep loss are also observed in children with FASD who do not have sleep difficulties [ 2 — 5 ]. Parents and educators agree that children with FASD, with or without sleep difficulties, may adapt differently cognitively and behaviourally to the environment, than typical children.

Their neuropsychological profiles and behaviours are highly variable [ 4 ]. They may have difficulties with attention, memory, cognitive flexibility, generalization from one experience to another, low frustration tolerance, and exhibit unexpected emotional reactions in various situations [ 36 ].

It is often puzzling to caregivers why they respond and behave in unusual ways in one environment when in another they may be friendly, charming, kind, cooperative, and talkative. They may be repeating certain words and phrases or specific behaviours and exhibit obsessive-compulsive traits. In later age, they often have difficulty with the legal system as well [ 37 — 39 ]. Caregivers come to understand that children with FASD are not bad but that their cognition has been effected by prenatal alcohol exposure and as a result they may respond to their environment in different and unpredictable ways.

It is well accepted by parents that in order to promote better behaviours of their children with FASD, modifying the environment is critical and that routines and protection from overstimulation at home, in school, and in social situations are most important. According to the medical literature, the first step in the treatment of sleep disorders is the introduction of sleep hygiene [ 17 , 19 ] which is defined as promotion of optimal sleep health practices through environmental management.

It includes scheduling of sleep, improved sleep environment, and the use of various sleep-promoting practices. It needs to be strongly emphasised that sleep hygiene practices should be individually tailored for children with neurodevelopmental disabilities according to their cognitive deficiencies and health difficulties and may be challenging to implement [ 28 ].

However, based on our clinical experience, sleep hygiene interventions frequently fail to correct the sleep disturbances of children with severe neurodevelopmental disabilities partly because of their impaired understanding of environmental cues [ 24 , 40 ]. Currently, there is no documented research on the promotion of sleep health for children with FASD and it is unclear how frequently sleep hygiene interventions are effective.

Sleep promotion activities and cues are numerous, complex, and interrelated. Sleep health practices are grouped under Sleep Environment, and sleep Scheduling and Bedtime Activities but the sleep needs of the caregivers and of the whole family must not be ignored either. The following discussions will explore the principles of sleep hygiene interventions for children with FASD in respect to the above categories. Due to the widespread brain injury patterns in children with FASD, the capacity of the perceptual neural mechanisms appears to be limited.

This may explain why exposure, even to minor stimuli at night, could be stressful and may lead to rapid sensory overload. Based on parental observations, there are many such examples [ 36 , 41 ]. Children with FASD are commonly oversensitive to sudden or persistent noises, to loud music or voices, and to certain sounds which may not even be noticed by typical children. The behavioural responses could manifest in temper tantrums, unusual behaviours, or simply in an inability to cope. At night earplugs or machines that produce white noise, and thereby minimize disturbing sounds from the environment, may be helpful.

Like individuals with cortical visual impairment [ 42 ], children with FASD can be light-sensitive, leading to excessive tearing and headaches. Fluorescent lights and glare are especially bothersome. Therefore, the lights at home may need to be adjusted. In the bedroom, pictures or complex patterns on walls, furniture, and linens may also result in sensory overload. The same problem is evident when children with FASD are surrounded by a large number of people. Parents often observe that it is more calming for children when the bedroom has minimal furniture and the walls and the bedding have a uniform, nonexciting colour.

It is also better if most toys are removed from the bedroom and clutter' is avoided. The same type of oversensitivity is seen to tactile stimuli. According to parents, small tags on their pyjamas, elastics, and the weight of their blankets, wrinkles, or different textures in the bedding may annoy them.

They may not be able to find a comfortable position for sleep. Interestingly, self-touch does not result in uncomfortable feelings. Tactile oversensitivity is seen in other neurological disorders as well [ 44 ]. In some individuals with FASD, olfaction may be disturbed [ 45 ], and perfumes, odours of soap, food, or cigarette may be unusually irritating to them.

Certain tastes and textures may be bothersome and they may not be able to swallow their medications or lumpy food and easily gag or vomit. Their responses to bedroom temperatures may also be different. It is not surprising that the parents have to be observant in order to understand their behaviours. According to parents, most children with FASD have difficulty deviating from their acquired skills. They are rigid and resistant to change and even slight rearrangement of the bedroom furniture may disturb them and cause sleep difficulties. Bedrooms should not be used for punishment or play and sharing their beds with the parents should be avoided when possible.

Sleep environment promotes sleep when it is the same over time, secure, familiar, comfortable, and unexciting and when the children are proud to own their little place. A fear of the dark is not uncommon, because children with FASD often suffer from anxieties. A dim night light, which does not shine into the eyes of the child, can be useful, in spite of the commonly-given advice that any ambient light disturbs sleep.

All of these factors need to be analyzed when designing an appropriate and individualized sleep environment for children with FASD. For parents, preparing the child with FASD for sleep might be a difficult and time-consuming task. It is clear that calming activities promote sleep onset, while any form of excitation leads to a delay. The problem is that activities that relax typical children may be exciting to children with FASD; therefore, parents often have to learn by trial and error which behaviours are calming or exciting.

Instead of getting advice from a friend or a relative with typical children, parents benefit most by talking to caregivers who are familiar with FASD. There is full parental agreement that the sequence of bedtime activities needs to be supervised and firmly enforced because children with FASD tend to have a poor concept of time and also have difficulty with order. It is important to note that they usually talk well, in spite of their impaired verbal perception, giving the impression that they fully understand what they are told, but this is often not the case. Children with FASD frequently experience failure and as a result try to cover up their deficiencies.

They often appear defiant and stubborn because they misinterpret what they are told. Therefore, the parents should communicate with a soft voice, using short and simple sentences and frequent repetitions. When this approach fails, it is the experience of some caregivers that a series of picture cards posted on a wall could prompt the children to do certain tasks in sequence using the advantage of the generally better visual skills. For example, the picture cards may show a child, with the appropriate gender and age, having a bath, changing into pyjamas, brushing teeth, washing hands and face, listening to a story, praying, hugging, receiving a kiss, saying good night to a favorite toy nearby, and turning off the lights, and so forth.

A good bedtime wind-down ritual can teach children with FASD to associate the routine with sleep onset. Observe these calming forces and build off the skills your baby already has — this will build on his capacity to put a moment between impulse and action. Toddlers struggle to balance their intense drive for independence with recognition of their own incompetence. When your child acts out e. Preschoolers are discovering the power of language to assert their needs and desires despite sometimes overwhelming emotions.

Help your child develop strategies to withstand temptation; for delayed gratification, have her think about the desired item as a less tempting inanimate object. Over time, she will learn how to experience emotions instead of leading with them. Promote self-control through physical games and experiences, as opposed to expecting your child to sit and focus for long periods of time. Seven- and eight-year-olds possess highly developed imaginative play capabilities, which are a perfect forum to build concentration and self-regulated rule structures.

When your child steps out of bounds, help her learn ways to soothe herself. Model taking a break, finding a new focus like naming all the colors in the room , counting backwards to reengage the thinking part of the brain, and physically moving to redirect mental energy. At this point, children are honing distinct interests and personalities. Support your child to set and achieve his own goals. This not only builds self-control and fosters executive function skills, but also helps him learn rules for successful management.

New research from the University of Toronto Scarborough states that inner voice plays an important role in controlling impulsive behavior. Children with ADHD acquire internalized speech later than most children, which may account for their weakened ability to control their impulses, according to findings by Laura Berk.

Research from Stanford University and Maastricht University in the Netherlands links improved impulse control to short-term memory training. Check out these reading apps for kids or games on ImproveMemory. If you spill cereal at breakfast, try taking a few deep breaths and expressing your feelings rationally: I am so angry! I need to sit and take a few deep breaths before I clean up. Harsh criticisms and judgments stir up either emotional or survival reactions from your child, neither of which allow executive functioning to advance. Award praise when praise is due and provide gentle guidance and support for missteps.

Exercise and movement affect focus and attention by boosting levels of dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin in the brain. Regular physical activity also improves concentration and motivation, decreases hyperactivity and impulsivity, and improves memory. She is an expert in developmental psychology, a mother to three young children, and a certified K-3 teacher. Daughter wants a doll and Mom buys it. Next she demands a dollhouse, Dad says no, daughter pitches a fit in the toy store, so Dad buys it.

Years go by…the child wants to take piano lessons, Mom and Dad agree to the lessons plus they buy a brand new piano. The family goes to Hawaii every spring for a vacation; the child begins to expect it. Certainly children have some entitlements. Adequate food, shelter, warmth, mental and emotional health, intellectual challenges, education, fun, play, reasonable choices, creative endeavors, emotional and physical protection, love, sufficient clothing, fair treatment and good relationships. Children are not entitled to having all their wants indulged unconditionally. To deny a child something to which she feels entitled is painful in the short run, but in the long run the child learns to wait for gratification and to make plans to reach a goal.

You do your child a disservice if she learns that insulting parents, pouting or temper tantrums bring her what she wants. I hope you appreciate it and are grateful. Also, think out loud in regard to financial matters. When you decide to plan and save for a new item, tell your child how you will do so.

If you restrain from buying something or going somewhere, allow your child to see you mull over the decision; modeling the discipline of denying yourself instant gratification. Most people will agree that children born into privileged circumstances need to be taught responsibility to help others with less, to give to the community, to be humble, and not to flaunt there privileged lifestyle. When you do allow your child a privilege, make sure you communicate that there are conditions attached:.

Parents and teachers report that children who learn the discipline of denying instant gratification have better long-term outcomes; they also have better scores on Scholastic Aptitude Tests. Parents serve their children well when they prevent children from taking on an attitude of entitlement. How Much is Enough? Living Simply with Children: Jan has taught Parent Education for more than twenty-five years.

A recognized speaker and author, she has written five books: Her latest book is Amazing Minds: You can find her books through Amazon. When it comes to learning disabilities, look at the big picture Recognizing a learning disorder By understanding the different types of learning disorders and their signs , you can pinpoint the specific challenges your child faces and find a treatment program that works. Remind yourself that everyone faces obstacles. Become your own expert. Do your own research and keep abreast of new developments in learning disability programs, therapies, and educational techniques.

You may be tempted to look to others—teachers, therapists, doctors—for solutions, especially at first. Be an advocate for your child. You may have to speak up time and time again to get special help for your child. Embrace your role as a proactive parent and work on your communication skills. It may be frustrating at times, but by remaining calm and reasonable, yet firm, you can make a huge difference for your child. Remember that your influence outweighs all others.

Your child will follow your lead. If you approach learning challenges with optimism, hard work, and a sense of humor, your child is likely to embrace your perspective—or at least see the challenges as a speed bump, rather than a roadblock. Focus your energy on learning what works for your child and implementing it the best you can.

Focus on strengths, not just weaknesses Your child is not defined by his or her learning disability. Helping children with learning disabilities tip 1: Before meetings, write down what you want to accomplish. Decide what is most important, and what you are willing to negotiate. Be a good listener. Allow school officials to explain their opinions. Do your research and find examples of what other schools have done. The school system is dealing with a large number of children; you are only concerned with your child.

Help the meeting stay focused on your child. Stay calm, collected and positive. Go into the meeting assuming that everyone wants to help. If you say something you regret, simply apologize and try to get back on track. Helping children with learning disabilities tip 2: Identify how your child learns best Everyone—learning disability or not—has their own unique learning style. Is your child a visual learner? If your child is a visual learner, he or she: Learns best by seeing or reading Does well when material is presented and tested visually, not verbally Benefits from written notes, directions, diagrams, charts, maps, and pictures May love to draw, read, and write; is probably a good speller Is your child an auditory learner?

If your child is an auditory learner, he or she: Learns best by listening Does well in lecture-based learning environments and on oral reports and tests Benefits from classroom discussions, spoken directions, study groups May love music, languages, and being on stage Is your child a kinesthetic learner? If your child is a kinesthetic learner, he or she: Learns best by doing and moving Does well when he or she can move, touch, explore, and create in order to learn Benefits from hands-on activities, lab classes, props, skits, and field trips May love sports, drama, dance, martial arts, and arts and crafts Studying Tips for Different Types of Learners Tips for visual learners: Use books, videos, computers, visual aids, and flashcards.

Make detailed, color-coded or highlighted notes. Make outlines, diagrams, and lists. Use drawings and illustrations preferably in color. Take detailed notes in class. Tips for auditory learners: Read notes or study materials out loud. Use word associations and verbal repetition to memorize. Study with other students. Listen to books on tape or other audio recordings. Use a tape recorder to listen to lectures again later. Tips for kinesthetic learners: Do experiments and take field trips.

Use activity-based study tools, like role-playing or model building. Study in small groups and take frequent breaks. Use memory games and flash cards. Study with music on in the background. Why Fast Food is Bad Food? Some of the points to be noted about fast food are: It is high in trans fats and calories It is low in fibers It makes extensive use of white flour, which lacks vital nutrients.

Often eaten as snacks, in between meals, hence increases calorie intake. Fuels health hazards like obesity, dyslipidemia, diabetes and heart disease. Meal Time, TV Time Differing work schedules of people within a family have gone against traditional family meals that are becoming increasingly rare. Global Survey on Fast Food Synovate, the research firm that surveyed the food habits and health in 13 countries, with special reference to fast food and obesity, found that UK topped the list in fast food consumption across the world.

Percentage of people who are fast food eaters: Novelty Fad As with everything else in human beings, the palate craves for something new all the time. Consider these strategies to avoid power struggles and help the picky eater in your family eat a balanced diet. By Mayo Clinic staff Has your preschooler refused to eat anything other than chicken nuggets for the past two days?

Stick to the routine Serve meals and snacks at about the same times every day. Be patient with new foods Young children often touch or smell new foods, and may even put tiny bits in their mouths and then take them back out again. Make it fun Serve broccoli and other veggies with a favorite dip or sauce. Set a good example If you eat a variety of healthy foods, your child is more likely to follow suit. Be creative Add chopped broccoli or green peppers to spaghetti sauce, top cereal with fruit slices, or mix grated zucchini and carrots into casseroles and soups.

Minimize distractions Turn off the television and other electronic gadgets during meals. The Many Benefits of Exercise Everyone can benefit from regular exercise.

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