Contents:
Find people who can support you. They don't always know what to say or how to fix it, but their efforts say something very powerful to a sad soul.
It took me two years to forgive the person who hurt me, and sometimes I'm not even sure if I forgive him completely. It wasn't fair and I didn't deserve what happened, but one day I realized that I was hurting myself by holding these feelings of anger in my body. I learned to understand why he would have done it, and I discovered that it probably had nothing to do with me.
He was in a lot of pain when it happened, and he wanted someone else to hurt just as much. Forgiving myself was a little harder.
It's an ongoing, never ending process. I did not deserve what happened to me. I should not have been hurt like that. And no matter how much I lament what could have been, I am learning to understand that I handled the situation as best as I could then. At the time that was good enough.
Most importantly, I've learned that sometimes the most devastating events hold the most important lessons in life. It's pushing through the fog of pain to reach the learning that is the key to living. Some memories slip away and we can barely recall them a week later. Others hold tight, nestling in a corner of our brains, and pop out when we lest expect them.
Whatever the memory good or bad, it's essential to just do our be st. Stay present , stay connected, and learn to forgive. As a very good friend once told me, forgiveness is not saying that what they did was okay; it's just saying that we refuse to hold the pain of what they did in our hearts any longer. Photo by Clik Maverick.
In this volume a comprehensive scientific overview is given on the development of "hurting memories" in individuals and societies. Consequences are described . Memories are indispensable for individuals as well as social groups. Forgetting not only means loss of functioning but also loss of identity. Memories can also be .
Elora Nelson is a student and a uniquely candid writer, poet, and pen pal. Her experiences in a diverse set of circumstances influence her to write what she can't say. Her words demonstrate a distinctive tone and view of the world that is conscious of life as an ever-changing journey.
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's not about me. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. Click here to read more. I had dreamed of the day I was raped. It was like reliving it again, and again and again.
I feel broken, and all I want is to be alone. Connect with People I find that when I am re-experiencing the abuse, I embody the false belief that I am not a deserving person. Forgive Yourself and Forgive Them It took me two years to forgive the person who hurt me, and sometimes I'm not even sure if I forgive him completely. Clues to controlling and eliminating this sort of pain at the molecular level come from recent work. View image of Thinkstock Credit: Just walking past the doorway where you stubbed your toe, or using the door you once shut your finger in, can make you wince at the memory.
In , researchers at the University of Arizona College of Medicine claimed this is because of a molecule called PKMzeta, which they argued strengthens the connections between neurons in the brain when we learn something new — and also creates physical sensitivity after a painful experience. Using mice, they demonstrated that, if they blocked this specific molecule in the spine, they could erase the extra sensitivity to pain in the mice. However, other researchers have since questioned this finding, showing that mice born without PKMzeta could still feel pain.
Book description Memories are indispensable for individuals as well as social groups. Friend me on Faceook. Presenting complex psychological issues in an easily accessible way, her work is solution-focused and multi-disciplinary, offering new perspectives, insights, practical tips and easy strategies that can be applied straightaway. I'll let you ;-. You don't find them, you choose them. I was fifteen, and though at first I consented, I revoked that consent, but it happened anyway.
What about the uncomfortable or traumatic pain that can be associated with some medical procedures? When colonoscopies are done under conscious sedation, patients are sometimes given a drug called midazolam which makes them feel less anxious and also promotes anterograde amnesia — the inability to form new memories.
Some have questioned the ethics of this approach — and its implications. So we can button a shirt or find our way along a familiar route to the station without thinking about when we actually made those memories. Would it be more ethical if patients were warned in advance that this might happen? But this would only erase memories from the point when the drug was administered, not from the point of waking.
The ethics of the use of drugs like this will continue to be discussed. The very fact that they are being considered underlines the fact that — unfortunately — for people who have given birth or experienced other kinds of agony, it can be a myth that pain has no memory. This article has been amended to reflect the evidence questioning the importance of the molecule PKMzeta. Even if you don't remember a colonoscopy, you might feel strangely uncomfortable when walking past a garden hose. What is BBC Future? Best of BBC Future.