Just Get Over It!
This does not change history. It does, however, change the energy field that your ECHO is holding concerning the history. In short, it allows you to finally get over it, usually once and for all, once all the ECHOs have been healed and cleared. The results are peace , freedom, and joy.
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See all Articles by S. James Webb See S. Fast forward a few years; I obtained my first job after receiving my undergraduate engineering degree. I quickly learned to hide my name tag on the company bus because too many men looked up my name in the company directory to solicit a romantic relationship, often repeatedly calling me at work even after being spurned. Everyone else on the technical work team was male, and my coworkers showered me with attention.
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These men expressed their delight that I was part of their team, but I always wondered if my physical appearance played a bigger role than the quality of my work. I was accepted to a top-tier school and employed as a research assistant for a male professor in computer science. That professor also served as my advisor. I loved my new job as well as classes and worked exceptionally hard, but I started to worry that my advisor and boss was becoming attracted to me.
I hesitantly expressed my worry to a male colleague who laughed and dismissed my concern, pointing out that the advisor was 20 years older than me, was married, and was too nice of a guy to mess with his students. A few weeks later, my advisor took me out to lunch, brought me a small present, and confessed that he fantasized about running away with me. I sat numbly through the rest of lunch not saying much of anything, knowing that I could not continue to work for him.
I wondered how I could afford school without that job. I wondered whether I would even be able to find another advisor. I wondered what others would think. I wanted to talk to a female professor, but not only were there none in my department, I realized that I never had a female professor at any point in my college education. I instead turned to a woman research scientist in the department and explained the situation. The research scientist grilled me on my behavior leading up to the incident and scolded me for not acting to prevent my advisor from becoming attracted to me in the first place.
After that conversation, I worried I had done something wrong. Before this incident, I had no sense of how vulnerable I or other students could feel, nor did I have any sense that over 20 years later, I would be reading about a professor fired for sexual harassment on my own campus or headlines of women experiencing far worse sexual harassment and assault by professors.
Despite these challenges, I earned my Ph. For years, I worked long hours establishing my career as a researcher and educator, and I felt like there was no time to consider having a family. Only after I submitted all my materials to support tenure and promotion, did I feel that I had the time or energy to consider having a baby. Fortunately, it was not too late for me, and the day after my tenure and promotion was official, I gave birth to a baby girl.
When my daughter was just a few months old, I flew to D.
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I had been on this panel for a year, so I knew that first meeting day would last nearly 10 hours with no breaks. My new baby was being cared for by my husband, who travelled with me, but I needed to feed my baby or at least pump breastmilk several times during the day. I approached the man leading the meeting to request a couple breaks during the day or at least a regrouping of the work, so that I could step out several times during the day when I was not needed. The man announced to the entire group of about thirty, mostly male, colleagues that the schedule would be rearranged so that I could breastfeed my baby.
Later that day, the leader of the institute questioned me directly about why I was still even participating on this grant-review panel instead of staying home with my baby, implying that I was neither a good mother nor a good review panelist. We carefully arranged our schedule to trade off baby duty so that we both could attend this important meeting for both our careers. As I carried my baby through the conference break area, I met a senior male leader of the conference.
I realized more than ever before how challenging it would be to continue my career while still being a good mother.
Over the next decade, I witnessed many instances of sexism in my professional life. A few were pervasive but subtle, such as outstanding women repeatedly being talked over in meetings, skipped over for speaking engagements, ignored for panel presentations, neglected as potential co-investigators for grant proposals, and passed over for awards.
Why It's Impossible To Just "Get Over It"
Whenever I pointed out such injustices, the men I addressed offered excuses, rather than solutions; they were unwilling even to acknowledge the problem. By , I had been promoted to full professor with many publications and awards. I was proud of what I had accomplished, including securing onsite childcare sponsored by the organization. On the week before the conference in November of , I was on top of the world, excited about the upcoming conference and believing that my country was about to elect its first woman president.