Needing A Man (Dick Tricks Book 2)

6 Surprising Facts About Men and Sex

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Many guys move on to using a douching bulb or enema. This works for most guys too, although douching bulbs and enemas will not clean your ass as deeply and thoroughly as hoses and shower attachments can. I use a hose — a shower attachment with a short, smooth nozzle — with slightly warm water and low pressure high pressure is not recommended — ouch. These different cleaning methods have different benefits and different risks which I will go into in the following slides.

You should never rush the cleaning process, especially if you are a beginner. Cleaning out is more than putting water up your butt. A good douching bulb will have a large rubber bulb and a smooth plastic nozzle.

If you use one in the shower, lube up the nozzle with silicone lube, which will not wash off in water. Gently and slowly stick the nozzle up your butt and gently, slowly squeeze the bulb. Hold the water in your ass for a few seconds, then relax and release it into the toilet. Chances are good that you will need to do this more than once. I know some guys who are good to go after one squirt. Since I prefer rigorous sex, I will usually douche three times at least. I cannot stress this enough: Do not rush it. Not only can you hurt yourself if you rush the process, but a rushed cleaning job will probably not get you completely clean.

After some practice, you will discover a frustrating truth: If you have time, clean once, then wait about thirty minutes and clean again. The trick with cleaning with a douching bulb is to hold the water in your butt for a few seconds. I do body squats in the shower to push the water up a little deeper.

That same rule of thumb does not apply to cleaning out with a hose or shower attachment. When you use a hose, relax your ass and let the water run out freely. Do not try to hold it in. Make sure the water is moderately warm, not hot, and relax your butt. Hold the nozzle in for a few seconds, allowing the water to run out gently, then pull the nozzle out.

Douching with a shower attachment gets me a more thorough clean, typically faster than with an enema. I stole my first nozzle a smooth, stainless steel one from a shower room at the Armory in San Francisco — the filming studios for Kink. Since then, I have used nozzles that are longer, slender, and made of smooth PVC or rubber that clean deeper. I must caution that these are for more advanced bottoms.

Deep cleaning is not without its health risks more so than cleaning your ass with an enema but it gets me better prepared for hours of hard sex, ass play with big toys, and fisting. You could say that my pleasure focus point has shifted from my dick to my butt. I admittedly do not masturbate as much as I used to, and it takes me much longer to cum when I do not have something in me.

The opening and closing of this muscle on its own can be very erotic. I discovered this sensation through toy play. When my ex-boyfriend and I decided to start playing with toys, I discovered sensations that I had never experienced before. He started pushing a small butt plug in my ass during foreplay, and I learned that the feeling of being opened can be just as intense as being fucked.

Toy play has made me a better bottom and, for many guys, is the gateway to becoming more comfortable with sex. Toys open you up and get you used to the feeling of penetration at your own speed. Most of them are too hard, and many of them have a rough, porous texture. These are novelty items. Those synthetic, sculpted veins can be sharp and very painful. Remember that the colon is lined with thin, delicate tissue that is easily torn and punctured.

Smooth toys work best. My favorite lube is Pjur Back Door silicone lube. I know this after experimenting with every kind of lube imaginable, from lotions to kitchen ingredients to Elbow Grease and more. A good lube makes a big difference. Many guys prefer spit — I do — but spit typically will not work for rough sex or extended play. When I go hard, I use silicone lube. Silicone lube is messy and stays slick forever, meaning it can sometimes present clean-up problems avoid touching door handles , but it works fine with latex and non-latex condoms and keeps your ass lubed up longer than water-based lube.

Silicone lube can also be used in the shower, since it will not wash off with water, meaning you can use it for douching and for shower sex. I have a latex allergy. When I get fisted, I use non-latex gloves. My sex life did not really begin until a friend told me he has a latex allergy and suggested maybe that was my problem as well. The very next day, I went out and bought my first box of non-latex condoms. My life was changed. Latex allergies are more common than you might realize.

If you are repeatedly having uncomfortable sex and your hole feels like it is burning or badly irritated every time you use latex condoms, try a non-latex condom made of Polyisoprene read: It took me a long time to stop asking guys during sex to pull out and check their penises for shit.

When you want to be on top from the bottom.

Few of them would have cared if there was any, but I did. In my mind, I could not imagine having sex with a dirty hole. This paranoia has ruined sex for me several times in my life and frustrated tops who knew what they were getting into — literally. It is butt sex, after all, and if you do it enough, you are at some point going to encounter traces of that other thing the ass does. Whether you are a total top or a total bottom or totally versatile, be less afraid of shit.

Keep an eye out for blood. Every time you have anal sex, you get micro-fissures. These are tiny tears that may not bleed at all and will probably not cause any pain, but they are still gateways for HIV transmission. However, when you see red, it is a sign that you have gone too rough or perhaps have not used enough lube, and it is time to stop. If you are a recreational bottom, this will happen at some point in your life. Do not live in fear of bleeding — stress and sex phobia are more unhealthy than most other ailments — but know that your likelihood for anal injury is higher if you are a cock-loving bitch who loves getting pounded.

Again, fiber will aid the healing process of both these common ailments that befall bottoms. While anal fissures are quite common, some ass injuries can require a trip to the hospital. If you puncture your colon or are bleeding badly and in extreme pain, get yourself to an Emergency Room as soon as possible. Ass injuries are not to be scoffed at. But I must also stress that if you have smart, sane, and consensual sex, and only push your limits within reason without exceeding your abilities, you can enjoy bottoming for years without problems.

We now live in an age when PrEP gives HIV-negative men and women extra precaution against HIV transmission — a precaution that, according to every statistic available, is more dependable than regular condom use. But while PrEP has the potential to lower HIV transmission rates among the people who can get access to the costly medication, rates for other STIs like chlamydia and gonorrhea and syphilis are soaring among gay men. I do not shame barebacking because most of my sex is bare and condom-less.

I am a piggy guy who loves male bodily fluids — cum, sweat, piss, spit, in that order — but I also know my sex practices involve STI infection. Most clinics and LGBT centers say that sexually active gay men should receive a full-range testing every three months.

Since I am having regular bareback sex, I get tested every month, no exceptions. Getting tested every month is not a preventative healthcare practice, but a responsive one. While I agree that most responsive healthcare regimens are less healthy in the long run than preventative care — our overmedicated society is evidence of that — I concede here that monthly STI testing and PrEP jointly face a present reality: But for men on PrEP who make the decision not to use condoms, monthly testing is the minimum degree of self-care that you should practice.

While bareback pigs frequently incur shaming and anger from people both in and outside the gay community, stigmatizing a lifestyle does little to address its reality. Barebacking is in, and the vast majority of homos I know do it. So rather than cast blame, the wisest response is for me and every health care worker and conscientious gay man to urge guys who bareback to get tested as frequently as possible. Cum itself for many guys is the fetish, so being a cum dump kind of the ultimate goal for someone who fetishizes cum itself.

Some guys take this to risky extremes and will stay blindfolded on a bed in a hotel room with the door unlocked for a day or two not recommended, since this can lead to bodily harm and loss of valuables and property. Whatever being a cum dump means to you, if you choose to do it, plan in advance to receive a full-range testing two weeks after and a few weeks after that. If you are planning to be a cum dump for a lengthy amount of time, you may need to clean deeply with a hose or shower attachment and, if you decide to be a cum dump away from home and the privacy of your home bathroom, you may want to carry a douching bulb with you for emergency trips to the nearest restroom.

Most men develop "erection dissatisfaction," NOT erectile dysfunction (ED).

There is a trick I learned at the Folsom Street Fair a couple years ago. If you take Imodium or some anti-diarrhea treatment and you do not, in fact, have diarrhea it will stop everything. Different gay men have argued the health benefits of doing this. It is probably not the best thing to do, but neither is excessive cleaning or really rough sex, which can cause hemorrhoids and fissures and other ailments. Gay men do not always make the healthiest choices — in fact, my experience shows that we tend to make a lot of unhealthy ones — but we have perfected the art of fucking. There is a caveat to this trick: While I have generally had good success with Imodium, over-dosage has messed up my stomach and actually caused me to have a bowel movement.

It can make you feel cramped and give you a stomachache, especially if you eat food after taking it.

My backup plan is to always carry a douche in a drawstring bag, but this is not always doable. They can also diminish a man's refractory time, meaning that after orgasm he can more quickly get an erection again. The one thing most people know about Viagra and its cohorts is that they are not supposed to be used by men who take nitroglycerin, a common medication for heart patients that also dilates the blood vessels.

That little piece of knowledge has translated into "Viagra is bad if you have a heart condition. Not so, says Arthur S. Agatston, MD, a cardiologist and associate professor of medicine at the University of Miami Miller School of Medicine and Prevention editorial advisory board member. Agatston says, because Viagra keeps the blood vessels from becoming "sticky" and helps blood flow through them smoothly, not just in the penis but throughout the body, in the future, many of us—women included—may end up taking some small amount of Viagra daily, the way we take baby aspirin, which has the same nonsticking effect on blood itself.

So when a man takes Viagra, he has to avoid anything that dilates the blood vessels, not just nitroglycerides.

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Drinking, lying in the sun — both are problematic. Viagra won't give him a heart attack, but, taken with too much alcohol, it could make him pass out, Dr.

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Perhaps more damaging than ignorance of the physical ramifications of ED drugs is ignorance of their potential interpersonal blowback. When not discussed frankly, Viagra can cause a lot of misunderstanding and hurt between couples. But there are some who may have adjusted to life without sex. Perhaps the woman doesn't really want it anymore, for one reason or another. And for those couples, the introduction of an ED drug can throw them seriously out of sync.

That leads to what is perhaps the biggest complicating factor: As women age, their hormonal balances change. Reduced estrogen levels often mean less sexual desire but also decreased vaginal elasticity and lubrication, and thus more potential for sex to be painful. The problem can be especially daunting for older women who are widowed or divorced or just beginning to date after years of being alone or with one man.

Certainly this was the case for Marjorie P. They can be thirty again, while I have to deal with the sexual issues of being my age. It's put the world on 'tilt. There is also fallout from the erroneous belief that Viagra causes not just greater blood flow but also greater desire. The hormone testosterone is the driving force behind libido; a man with little or no testosterone will not have any desire to have sex, Viagra or no. Moreover, even with normal amounts of testosterone, "Viagra does not just instantly give a man an erection," says Abraham Morgentaler, MD, associate clinical professor of urology at Harvard Medical School and author of The Viagra Myth.

Morgentaler tells the story of a patient who was very upset because Viagra didn't do the trick for him. I took the pill an hour in advance. Then I watched a baseball game on TV and waited. The misunderstandings cut all ways: Some women think ED drugs make men amorous and that their presence isn't required. In my practice, I spend a lot of time reassuring them that this isn't the case — and I tell men they must reassure the women too.

Another big issue for many women: ED drugs drastically shorten the interval between climaxing and achieving another erection.

Men look at this differently than women do. For them, it's not a bug, it's a feature.

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And for the woman? Conquer these 5 common sexual stumbling blocks. It can lead to vaginal abrasions and even tearing and can expose a woman to risk of getting yeast infections and — particularly for a woman who is dating or divorced — to sexually transmitted diseases. There are, too, single women who worry that men with new-and-improved sexual abilities will be less likely to commit to marriage, and wives who worry that their husbands will be more apt to look outside the marriage for sex.

Which is not to say that Viagra hasn't ever led to straying—but not for the reasons women think. So if the man is unable to have erections on his own, and the woman shoots down the idea of a pill, then the guy is really stuck. The relationship can get into trouble, because one person wants sex and the other doesn't or only wants it on her terms.

So how can you make sure, if ED drugs come into your marriage, that they help rather than hamper your relationship? Stop Selfishness from Ruining Your Relationship. Adds Andrea, whose own Viagra dating experiences and the experiences of similarly aged friends have ranged from excellent to Emergency Care Needed:.

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