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There are two major experiments that the Biology Department sponsors. The Biology Department sponsors two major experiments. Two extremely famous and well-known consumer advocates spoke eloquently in favor of the proposed important legislation. Two well-known consumer advocates spoke in favor of the proposed legislation.
Sentences with deadwood phrases that add little to the meaning. Be judicious when you use phrases such as in terms of , with a mind to , on the subject of , as to whether or not , more or less , as far as…is concerned , and similar expressions.
You can usually find a more straightforward way to state your point. As a world leader in the field of green technology, the company plans to focus its efforts in the area of geothermal energy. A report as to whether or not to use geysers as an energy source is in the process of preparation. As a world leader in green technology, the company plans to focus on geothermal energy.
A report about using geysers as an energy source is in preparation. Sentences in the passive voice or with forms of the verb to be. Sentences with passive-voice verbs often create confusion, because the subject of the sentence does not perform an action. Sentences are clearer when the subject of the sentence performs the action and is followed by a strong verb. Use strong active-voice verbs in place of forms of to be , which can lead to wordiness.
Avoid passive voice when you can. It might perhaps be said that using a GPS device is something that is a benefit to drivers who have a poor sense of direction. Using a GPS device benefits drivers who have a poor sense of direction. Sentences with constructions that can be shortened. The e-book reader, which is a recent invention, may become as commonplace as the cell phone.
My over-sixty uncle bought an e-book reader, and his wife bought an e-book reader, too. The e-book reader, a recent invention, may become as commonplace as the cell phone. My over-sixty uncle and his wife both bought e-book readers. Now return once more to the first draft of the essay you have been revising. Check it for unnecessary words. Try making your sentences as concise as they can be. Most college essays should be written in formal English suitable for an academic situation.
Follow these principles to be sure that your word choice is appropriate. Which Word Is Right? Now read the revisions Mariah made to make her third paragraph clearer and more concise. She has already incorporated the changes she made to improve unity and coherence. Now return once more to your essay in progress.
Read carefully for problems with word choice. Be sure that your draft is written in formal language and that your word choice is specific and appropriate. After working so closely with a piece of writing, writers often need to step back and ask for a more objective reader. What writers most need is feedback from readers who can respond only to the words on the page.
When they are ready, writers show their drafts to someone they respect and who can give an honest response about its strengths and weaknesses. You, too, can ask a peer to read your draft when it is ready. This process is called peer review. Although you may be uncomfortable sharing your writing at first, remember that each writer is working toward the same goal: Maintaining a positive attitude when providing feedback will put you and your partner at ease.
The box that follows provides a useful framework for the peer review session. These places in your essay are not clear to me:. Writing at Work One of the reasons why word-processing programs build in a reviewing feature is that workgroups have become a common feature in many businesses. Remember to give positive feedback and to be courteous and polite in your responses. Focus on providing one positive comment and one question for more information to the author. The purpose of peer feedback is to receive constructive criticism of your essay.
Your peer reviewer is your first real audience, and you have the opportunity to learn what confuses and delights a reader so that you can improve your work before sharing the final draft with a wider audience or your intended audience. It may not be necessary to incorporate every recommendation your peer reviewer makes. However, if you start to observe a pattern in the responses you receive from peer reviewers, you might want to take that feedback into consideration in future assignments.
For example, if you read consistent comments about a need for more research, then you may want to consider including more research in future assignments. You might get feedback from more than one reader as you share different stages of your revised draft. In this situation, you may receive feedback from readers who do not understand the assignment or who lack your involvement with and enthusiasm for it.
You need to evaluate the responses you receive according to two important criteria:. Then, using these standards, accept or reject revision feedback. Work with two partners. Go back to Note 8. Then, working individually, list where you agree and where you disagree about revision needs. If you have been incorporating each set of revisions as Mariah has, you have produced multiple drafts of your writing.
So far, all your changes have been content changes. Perhaps with the help of peer feedback, you have made sure that you sufficiently supported your ideas. You have checked for problems with unity and coherence. You have examined your essay for word choice, revising to cut unnecessary words and to replace weak wording with specific and appropriate wording.
The next step after revising the content is editing. When you edit, you examine the surface features of your text. You examine your spelling, grammar, usage, and punctuation. You also make sure you use the proper format when creating your finished assignment. Editing often takes time. Budgeting time into the writing process allows you to complete additional edits after revising.
Editing and proofreading your writing helps you create a finished work that represents your best efforts.
Here are a few more tips to remember about your readers:. The first section of this book offers a useful review of grammar, mechanics, and usage. Use it to help you eliminate major errors in your writing and refine your understanding of the conventions of language. In the meantime, use the checklist to help you edit your writing. Be careful about relying too much on spelling checkers and grammar checkers. A spelling checker cannot recognize that you meant to write principle but wrote principal instead.
A grammar checker often queries constructions that are perfectly correct. The program does not understand your meaning; it makes its check against a general set of formulas that might not apply in each instance. If you use a grammar checker, accept the suggestions that make sense, but consider why the suggestions came up. Proofreading requires patience; it is very easy to read past a mistake. Set your paper aside for at least a few hours, if not a day or more, so your mind will rest. Some professional proofreaders read a text backward so they can concentrate on spelling and punctuation.
Another helpful technique is to slowly read a paper aloud, paying attention to every word, letter, and punctuation mark. If you need additional proofreading help, ask a reliable friend, a classmate, or a peer tutor to make a final pass on your paper to look for anything you missed. Remember to use proper format when creating your finished assignment. These requirements may be more detailed and rigid for research projects and term papers, which often observe the American Psychological Association APA or Modern Language Association MLA style guides, especially when citations of sources are included.
To ensure the format is correct and follows any specific instructions, make a final check before you submit an assignment. With the help of the checklist, edit and proofread your essay. This is a derivative of Writing for Success by a publisher who has requested that they and the original author not receive attribution, originally released and is used under CC BY-NC-SA. For uses beyond those covered by law or the Creative Commons license, permission to reuse should be sought directly from the copyright owner. Learning Objectives Identify major areas of concern in the draft essay during revising and editing.
Use peer reviews and editing checklists to assist revising and editing. Revise and edit the first draft of your essay and produce a final draft. Understanding the Purpose of Revising and Editing Revising and editing allow you to examine two important aspects of your writing separately, so that you can give each task your undivided attention. When you revise , you take a second look at your ideas. You might add, cut, move, or change information in order to make your ideas clearer, more accurate, more interesting, or more convincing.
When you edit , you take a second look at how you expressed your ideas. You add or change words. You fix any problems in grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure. You improve your writing style. You make your essay into a polished, mature piece of writing, the end product of your best efforts. Tip How do you get the best out of your revisions and editing?
You are proud of what you wrote, but you might be too close to it to make changes. Set aside your writing for a few hours or even a day until you can look at it objectively. Ask someone you trust for feedback and constructive criticism. Pretend you are one of your readers. Are you satisfied or dissatisfied? Use the resources that your college provides.
Creating Unity and Coherence Following your outline closely offers you a reasonable guarantee that your writing will stay on purpose and not drift away from the controlling idea.
Tip Reading your writing aloud will often help you find problems with unity and coherence. Creating Unity Sometimes writers get caught up in the moment and cannot resist a good digression. Did she cut too much, too little, or just enough? Is the explanation of what screen resolution means a digression? Or is it audience friendly and essential to understanding the paragraph?
Collaboration Please share with a classmate and compare your answers. Reread it to find any statements that affect the unity of your writing. Decide how best to revise.
Tip When you reread your writing to find revisions to make, look for each type of problem in a separate sweep. Writing at Work Many companies hire copyeditors and proofreaders to help them produce the cleanest possible final drafts of large writing projects. Creating Coherence Careful writers use transitions to clarify how the ideas in their sentences and paragraphs are related. Tip Many writers make their revisions on a printed copy and then transfer them to the version on-screen. Do you agree with the transitions and other changes that Mariah made to her paragraph?
What transition words or phrases did Mariah add to her paragraph? The most drastic—and perhaps the most useful—solution for these audiences is to provide illustrations as alternatives to the text, or at least as enhancements of the textual content. Transitional words and phrases effectively make writing more coherent. Wish I had this knowledge 30 years ago! Bass makes it easy to acquire the skills to write accurate, clear, concise and focused copy that drives your readers to deliver your most wanted response … every single time.
Which would you keep and which were unnecessary? What transition words or phrases did Mariah add to her paragraph? Why did she choose each one? What effect does adding additional sentences have on the coherence of the paragraph?
When you read both versions aloud, which version has a more logical flow of ideas? Being Clear and Concise Some writers are very methodical and painstaking when they write a first draft. Identifying Wordiness Sometimes writers use too many words when fewer words will appeal more to their audience and better fit their purpose. Sentences with unnecessary modifiers. Exercise 3 Now return once more to the first draft of the essay you have been revising. Choosing Specific, Appropriate Words Most college essays should be written in formal English suitable for an academic situation. Find alternatives to bummer , kewl , and rad.
Avoid language that is overly casual. A formal tone calls for formal language. Contractions are considered casual speech. Overused expressions such as green with envy , face the music , better late than never , and similar expressions are empty of meaning and may not appeal to your audience. Be careful when you use words that sound alike but have different meanings. When in doubt, check a dictionary. Choose words with the connotations you want. Choosing a word for its connotations is as important in formal essay writing as it is in all kinds of writing.
Compare the positive connotations of the word proud and the negative connotations of arrogant and conceited. Use specific words rather than overly general words. Find synonyms for thing , people , nice , good , bad , interesting , and other vague words. Or use specific details to make your exact meaning clear.
Read the unrevised and the revised paragraphs aloud. Avoid unnecessary shifts of number, tense, subject, voice, or point of view. Prefer the simple word to the far-fetched, and the right word to the almost right. Make sentence elements that are parallel in thought parallel in form. But do not use parallelism to express thoughts that are not parallel. Arrange your material logically. Always begin with ideas the reader can readily understand. If you must present difficult material, go one step at a time.
Checklist for Logical Arrangement 9. Do not write without good reason. Slant your presentation for your audience. Get straight to the point. Exceptions to the rule. Getting Started Taking Notes: The Easy Way to Outline Allow in your planning for production delays Deadlines and supervisors Editing and Self-Editing with Precision Dictums from a Newspaper Stylebook Manners of Style?
Or Style of Manners? Once More Unto the Breach! Two Words Better Than One? Bates By Jefferson D. About Writing with Precision One of the most popular and respected style guides ever written, this handbook by a seasoned writer with more than forty years of experience offers ten principles and seven axioms that professional writers use to express their thoughts clearly and effectively. Inspired by Your Browsing History.