Loser Chick: A Girls Guide To Loneliness

Plight of the Lonesome Bodybuilder - Legit Potential (Part I)

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You deserve to have someone love you back as much as you love them. Those who ask for promotions get promotions. Every day, we have the opportunity to meet a hundred people if we want to. It just takes initiative. If we never try meeting other people, we will never get rejected. Guys get rejected left and right because for some reason, society has told us we always have to initiate. Instead, we settle for what we have or just being a lone. I never thought about this until readers kept on mentioning that deadbeat women tend to go out with deadbeat men.

Society always sees men as losers, and women as misguided. I guess there is equality for all, after all! Not wanting to be with the hottest and nicest woman possible is hard for men to understand. We men think that it is better to have love and lost than to have never loved at all. Guys also love it when their woman gets all the attention from other guys. Of course, we all know women cheat on men as much as men cheat on women. Compare the scope now vs. Settling is such a weak thing to do. It screams of insecurity.

You have the right to be happy because someone out there will truly value who you really are! Having your financial life in order. One of the best way to build wealth is by signing up with Personal Capital. As a woman, you want to financially depend on nobody but yourself. Personal Capital is a free online software which aggregates all your financial accounts in one place so you can see where you can optimize. Before Personal Capital, I had to log into eight different systems to track 28 different accounts brokerage, multiple banks, K, etc to manage my finances.

Now, I can just log into Personal Capital to see how my stock accounts are doing, how my net worth is progressing, and where my spending is going. Is your retirement plan on track? Find out for free after you link your accounts. I used to see these beautiful, outgoing girls go for guys that treated them like crap, cheated on them constantly, in some cases, pushed them around and basically disgraced them.

I think much of it starts in the home and how dad treated mom if dad was around much. I have seen this over and over. Young women will go out and be with a loser bad boy who really cant seem to get it together and shun the smart nice guy who now is in his thirties and forties and sucessful. Now he doesnt want anything to do with that once young girl who now is middle aged tainted and fat whore with 3 kids from two different losers.

Turn around is fair play. The way they act at 25 is the way they are at In fact I think they get worse and turn into their mothers. In fact, I think they get worse and turn into their fathers. I work part time myself and I enjoy life as much as I can. And it can be intimidating to see other guys making more money than I and going for a carreer.

But when I hear them talk about women I feel reassured. Ofcourse this is a generalisation, there are always exeptions. After I finished my schooling in my later 20s, hit the gym, gained weight, have a great gym body plus a 6 figure salary, I school pathetic losers in their 20s with part time jobs. I bang one 21 year old after another, pump them and dump them and move onto the next. Nothing brings out confidence in a guy than having a great body, looking good and a 6 figure bankroll. Because I have money like that.

You sound so very insecure, and narrow minded1 Whom messed up your self-esteem in High School? You need a reality check, cause life is not all about looks, money and sex! Trust me, you will someday regret it in your 40s, why you had to use women, and dumped them after! Real men do not have your kind of mindset! Good luck on traveling the world and connecting your soul with different spirits! Some of you insecure guys of this generation think sex is a casual satisfaction! The big fact you, guys like you and the dumb girls who fall for it is: I think the phenomenon is more prevalent amongst younger women.

In my limited experience women who have some life experiences age is a number, but maturity is a relevant measure tend to make smarter decisions about who they enter into full relationships with.

Younger again, youth being measured in many different ways women are not sure what they want and are often attracted to men who are irrationally confident re: The Western marketing machine is basically built to make women feel self conscious about everything and especially their bodies; therefore, when young women have not developed a solid sense of self confidence they are very vulnerable to a guy who knows the right phrases to take advantage of the situation. Young men are targeted much less and get more space to go through the growing up process and build self confidence naturally. Personally, I spent a ton of time trying to look way more like a cool rebel than I ever should have.

The sad thing is that it worked. My University Money You make some really good points. And I have to agree that life experiences and age play a major role in how women, and men, choose who to date. So true Eddie, although it may not necessarily bring relief, you need to fish from the right pond, and then STILL take time and see if what you caught is what you want…. Personally speaking, I hate insecurities in a woman.

Hmmm, control issues for women huh? I guess I like that for a little bit. But, after a while, it gets old! She loves me for who I am, I raised our kids cook get food and give her my undivided attention.

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When she is off and we still manage to have sex 6 days of every week. And surprizing she keeps me around. I think that mike is on to something — most women are not sure of what they want, and if they are, they are afraid to go after it. I also think that some women want to be with the jerks because they feel like they will be able to change them and have the happy ending — a fairy tale fantasy, in my mind. It could be interesting to see if the power dynamic shifts in the future with women beginning to out educate, and potentially out earn men. If they spend their 20s and early 30s with a deadbeat, then it really hurts her chances to find another one, since women prefer older men, and older men therefore have to choice but to go out with younger women.

Men get older, they have a wider choice. Women get older, and there are less older men. When in reality, a lot of guys working on their careers in their mids will just bang these women for the easy access but will not engage with them in a long term relationship something I advise men to avoid as there is nothing in it for you. If a guy wants a long term relationship, he wants kids. Women have it easier when they are younger, men have to be patient. With social media, reality TV, etc, I met a lot of immature women in their 30s still living in a teenaged fairy-tale land.

They think young, hot women want to sleep with them. Fact is older men are every bit as likely as older women to pass on gene mutations and birth defects to their children. Nevertheless, most women would prefer to be in a relationship with someone close to their own age, not much younger or much older. I advise young women to avoid relationships with older men, as there is nothing in it for them unless the man is filthy rich. Otherwise, the woman gets saddled with a wrinkled, balding, potbellied dude with aging sperm and has to play nursemaid to him as his health deteriorates.

Fact is all people age like spoiled milk; no one gets better with age. No matter what we do, our bodies continue to break down, and older men are even more likely than older women to be responsible for gene mutations and birth defects in their children since male sperm cells mutate much more quickly than female egg cells. Why would a woman in her 20s date a used-up man in his 30s? I advise young women to avoid long-term relationships with older men, as there is nothing in it for them except a wrinkled, balding, potbellied dude who they will have to play nurse to as his health declines.

Here are a few reasons: If you are woman in their 20s interested in short flings, going after the early 20s man makes sense. If you want a longer term, fulfilling relationship, upper 20s or throughout the 30s man is much better alternative. Fear is a powerful motivator, it takes quite a bit to step out of the situation and look at it from another perspective.

The individuals are fun to be around, but no depth. They are spontaneous because they have no plans for life. Why are women attracted to them? It is simple, they like the excitement and fun part of the relationship! They overlook the bad aspects because of the excitement. Low self esteem may prevent women from moving on. Why do people stay in the work environment is complacency. It is hard to make a change!

Usually it takes some incident to make them do something. Could it relate to low esteem, self confidence or ambition? People are willing to put up with a bad situation because of many of the same reasons. The older a person gets, the more scary the unknown will be. It becomes a Catch Hence, the advice is to Get Out Yesterday!

As I get older, I am less scared of the unknown because there is very little I have not done. I am less likely to change because I am less adventurous, flexible or willing to risk. Even so, if you were older and single, it becomes that much harder. I beg to differ.. The guy might be a loser, but if he does something right once in a while, it will be hard to let go.

Depending on your looks, your age, your location, your personality quirks some people are just weirder than others , your values some people need to marry within their religion, for example , and your own life circumstances think health issues, financial issues, and other hindrances , it really CAN be that hard. It really IS that hard for some people to find a compatible match or a match that they believe is compatible. Women who date losers feel like they can change them. Leave the projects for the construction workers. How do women know that nice guys are boring?

They probably have good jobs, so they can afford to do more cool things. Ladies are no brighter than dudes obviously. I think back then, I was deluding myself to think that he was ambitious and he was alright. I think I was trying to change him, by trying to make him more motivated like I was, by trying to get him that job. I was happy and complacent with the way he treated me.

He was nice, always agreed with me, etc. I was acting more like his mother than his girlfriend, and after that incident, I realized it and decided to put an end to it. Thanks for providing more insight! I was just thinking out loud the various reasons for people in general to stick with someone suboptimal. I think he was bumming off another girl for a little while.

But from my facebook stalking, I think they broke up recently. Miss Moneypenniless , Hannah. Maybe this is the secret for unscrupulous men who want action to learn. You hit all the reasons on the head Sam. Now I am happily married and much happier. I wonder if I should follow up with a post on a role reversal of titles.

I agree with everything you wrote with one exception. I want a woman to share my life with at some point, but right now I am more afraid of being attached and losing my freedom, independence, and party lifestyle than being alone. Give it more years Eric! If not, keep having kites of fun!

Good points in your post and in the comments. Some women like projects and want to feel in control and try to mold a guy into a perfect shape. These are powerful feelings that involve instant gratification and not as long term as being with someone who is best for you as you grow older. Unless she is aware of it and works to break the cycle.

Men can be SO shallow. Once I post my picture, all interest fades. BD, thanks for your very candid thoughts. You sound like a beautiful person to me: Also, brunettes are better anyway. Your felon friend might have changed his ways though. Everyone deserves a second or even third chance. I know that years ago, this was why I dated one myself — a feeling of no control over your own life.

I finally saw the movie on my flight back from Europe last month! I like the bigger woman who goes potty in the sink at the wedding dress store. You people are all thinking too logically. It really comes down to how girls respond emotionally. Even as a guy, do I respond logically or emotionally to a woman? But logically, would such a woman who decided to get implants be the ideal mother to my child? If the girl was a scumbag who did drugs and was crazy, etc. Why have you been bumming around for 3 years after your 80K job right out of college?

Were you let go? The problem with being a jobless guy is that the relationships are temporary if he continues to not to have a job and never goes anywhere. I think most women honestly just think they can give the guy a makeover. When we are young and in school, we are more equal. So maybe the normal girl dates the normal guy and it even makes sense, but then the normal girl blossoms both in appearance and in intellect. Now we have a problem, the new female knockout is dating a loser or really a less ambitious person.

The Lonely Woman’s Survival Guide

This is why I sometimes see very attractive women driving in a beatup truck with some guy that looks like a freak. Some seem perfect content to live with such less ambitious guys and even find their mate very attractive because they are different. Of course kids are also a factor. I think this brings up a bigger point about life. That is, knowing when to end something that is no longer healthy for you or the other person. Another aspect to consider is the generation in question. Life is a learning experience once you experience something bad your mind is programmed to either fight or take flight.

The only fear is that what if guy or girl you wait until your 30s, and then you lose your competitiveness and stay single forever! Even though she went to college, has a great career etc is her self esteem really that low??? Leave him, dump him, throw him to the curb. We educated, great career, nice vehicle, never living at parents home after high school guys are right the eff under your nose. There the junky, filthy disgusting, scrungy guys that are useless, they never have money and are constantly poor.. Some of those trust funders are just plain lazy cause they obviously can be and have never had to have a sense of direction.

Hmmm, I donno about that! Are you a guy or girl? You can start a new thread as this one runs out. You stated in your comment: He sounds like a total wuss especially with the agreeing part. A woman gets smitten when said type man is wooing her aggressively so logical thinking is out the window. Sometimes women could easily use guidance from a guys perspective and lead her to the guy she should be with lol: That guy being her guide lol!! For some women the world would be a whole lot easier if they just let us men guide them in the right direction lol!! One thing is that women love attention.

Even if a guy turns bad, a woman will always remember the time she was treated well. By this time, the guy has already moved on, mentally at least. So many facets to explore. What did we learn at home? Were the parents controlling, laissez-faire; more matriarchal or patriarchal? How educated were the parents? Many times we think that we can change what we do not like. Men and women may think of different things, but change and rescue are probably primary.

My first marriage was crap for many of these reasons. Not to mention that she and I were both too hard-headed back then. Now in my second round, things are going very well. Both of us had some decent lessons that contributed to a better round this time.

But I think that it boils down to what we as male or female learned at home and in society at large. Our society places women in a distant second place. If that notion is compounded on the home front, girls growing up will have a more difficult time. Lead your children by example, not by lecture. Same with your subordinates in the office or the field. Actions always speak so much more loudly and clearly.

This is honest, not cocky.

Unfortunately thus said men are always lacking something. Relates to half of me but the other half is null. So perhaps not all deadbeats ate losers, some are really late bloomers. Might be a reason as to why girls dig losers. I am currently dating a dead beat. When you meet a charming man, a smart man, and the chemistry is right, you dive in. You see hopes and dreams and a future. You are in love but worried. Do you give up, pull the plug? Sleeping in with No money to pay bills. The excuses start coming.

Once your heart is full, can you keep the faith that his word will be good. Unfortunately women let television and magazines tell them the type of man they should find attractive. Most of these men are rich, black or a criminal. I myself am a really nice looking man, with a good job, I am a loving, giving, caring and good hearted man. Where I live, all the women like over weight, uneducated, sloppy, thugs, jerks that will not amount to a hill of beans in life. It did not use to be that way. Women use to date only men who were successful and could support them in the future.

Now they only go out with criminals, drug dealers and thugs. Then these women complain and wonder why they are so unhappy? Hmmmm… somewhat troubling comment. My Daughter is 41 and dates losers. I kind blame her father. He is no longer in my life cause he was a very poor example of a person, husband and father.

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Although she did not have a positive male role model I feel she is 41 a grown ass woman and should know better. I and family think she may need to talk to someone, we think she has low self esteem, depressed and often is ruled my her emotions for this loser. I pray for God to give her wisdom. She has children and they are watching and they make comments about her choice of men Lord knows I too have dated losers but i got rid of them quickly.

I try to give her advice but she is very stubborn. So I guess she will learn one day but geez she is 41 a grown assssssssssssss woman! P But 30 is knocking on the door in a few years and my body is just not going to work at some point, simple biology. On the other hand, my one paralyzing fear is being alone the rest of my life and age.

I think men have a little more freedom in that regard. And I have no idea…. My college educated daughter started dating a guy a few years older, no drivers Lic. Why I keep asking myself. We set her up to have a great life and she is engaged to this person who has not improved his situation in the last year. I just some women look for someone that are needy and they can be above them. This could end up to be a very difficult situation down the road.

There are plenty of nice men with good financials out there! How about a female deadbeat loser. There are just as many female losers in equal abundance to have to put up with. Serios question here, Define what is a deatbeat loser precicely? I think of myself as a great guy. But there is one thing that makes me insecure, and its an important one: The fake aspect of the business world where the carreer an the big money is really disgust me.

Does my lack of motivation for carreer automaticly makes it balck and white and am I a loser? Or is there a grey zone? Women like motivated men with ambition. At least if you have no money but have motivation, you have the potential to earn and not be a deadbeat. I have money, because I still live with my parents I saved up probably way more than most full time working men have who work full time and live on their own. And I have plans for building a house of my own in a few years, I can build on a lot my parents own. I am willing to work on that, but I have zero motivation for building a carreer, I like to work as less as possible.

They look for better qualities than just being able to make money. Your last question puzzles me, I would try to bring out the best in her If I really loved her soits not that important to me if she compensates this with being interesting, artistic, intelligent, kind, sporty or has an awesome personality and body. Or my web browser. When you post a reply, half of your text disappears on the right. Its difficult to re-read for me so I could not edit my text.

More power to you for having a gf while still living at home with your parents. Stay at home men of the world unite! Haha tnx dude, but your article got me thinking. I can afford to make a financial risk for my belgian beer export business and mayebe find my best self back when I start making some money. Cheers and happy hollidays!

This article basically tells all women that they deserve Prince Charming and nothing less. Most people are not attractive, intelligent or rich. An averrage woman does not autoamtically deserve to be with an exceptional man. Can you guys do math at all? That brings us to 1. It is absurd for an average woman to demand this and alot more absurd for a fat single mother to demand this.

This article makes it sound like women are generally flawless and shouold settle for nothing less than perfect but the reality is most of us are average people and women people should not expect to find partners who have so much more to offer than they do. I see this brunette babe in this picture, with this kid that dont smile, and looks like hes not there, Id take this girl dote on her and do what she wants ,,,, noooo shed rather be with a loser that has no scruples or backbone.

Well, being a woman who has dated a lot of men I would like to add my thoughts. He turned out to be an alcoholic and liked the drink more than me, something I did not realise when we first started our relationship. I however want something else in a relationship like companionship and intimacy etc. I have never pretended to be someone I am not. What you see is what you get with me. I am independent financially and emotionally and want to meet my equal, not Prince Charming or some rich guy, just a decent human being.

This is sadly becoming very difficult for man women who are sucked in by liars and losers. I believe there are just not enough decent men to go around. I am honestly not fussy at all and have always given men a go but have now given up as they always end up using me. I am not demanding or needy…just a normal, nice woman but the men I meet can really be quite breathtakingly dishonest and self seeking.

It just goes too far when the other person skates on that goodness, and never steps up to the plate. Many women, and men, had a father who was a financial support but not an emotional one. He was never home, he was always working. So, when you look for a partner, maybe you subconsciously LIKE that this person sees the work, work, work mentality as undesirable.

Maybe you want a person that has time to spend with you. Ambition towards living differently, or having other ideas is cool too. But someone treating you badly, no. Put two of any species in a box and think carefully how that looks. Knowing that the first logical step will be personal survival. The second will be dominance and control. Then the nesting instinct, the need for basic necessities.

Elephants, females push the male away and only use them for breading, male Elephants will spend their lifetime alone and be stampeded if they come within range of female elephant mothers. A snake mates and leaves, they do not hang, they are not touchy feely, they need a warm rock and some sunshine. A rabbit likes to nest, a male and female will love to have children and sleep together forever. They love sex, they are vegans. They are soft and cozy and live a simple life.

They are fast too. They like running around in the forest and quickies are lovely sport. A fox has a den a wife a litter a life. A fox is crafty, sly, sneaky and she is also. A wolf is dominant, impulsive, determined, wise, loves a crowd, but likes his down time to think.

He fought for her, drew blood for her. She is the same but is more in protection of her cubs, she will let him roam, she has better things to do. She loves him at a distance and is respectful at all times. He admires his cubs and likes to play with her on summer days. They have fun, but mostly life is serious business. A female animal has zero time for a man who will not make the investment. She should know what one she is first. A female animal will rarely if ever pick a wounded male. Often she will pick up the litter and move on, even if she remains alone. Most males will pick available females, he in most cases is not choosey, he wants what he wants and he wants it soon.

She is responsible for breeding rights, he is responsible for keeping himself ready to attain her breeding rights. I want to talk with them. I am done with the kind of shit for men that have been swarming around me for decades. Then I have to kick their asses to shreds in order for them to become better men? After the reject finds that he is no longer worthy to even know my name? Why are you men as stupid arrogant as you all appear to be.

If you think that their are 13 women to your every man on this planet then go find them. Go with the skank you are seeking and stay away from me. I am tired of training you were to shit and piss upon is not going to be ever me. You learn with the bitch that will put up with your scumloserness. I am done with you pieces of shit for men. You belong in your Scumshit Planet, not with myself. She is that idiot that puts up with your continued abuse of her.

She is that dumbass women that hides the fact that your are as miserable as she is and you make the perfect match in your hell. And your women knew this before your attacks upon me. She is that bitch that you have been with that you would falsely use my name to get your way with your skank. Stop blaming me for what you are. I am not the problem. How dare you pieces of shit for people. Do not terrorize and attack my entire life and children due to you being primitive beasts for people who have nothing better to do than to treat me like you want to treat the skank that you have been dealing with who is not me.

Get out of my life. Or who you think you have become. Or who you think will make you a better man than that skank you used as a weapon you are stuck with. Get out of my life and stay out of it. You made your own dog bed with your nasty vicious bitch of a woman. You men that lost me know why you did and why you are duds to me. How dare you lie, cheat, steal from me over your problems and issues.

How dare you violate me and my children why you know why you lost me in your lives.

The Lonely Woman’s Survival Guide | Thought Catalog

Stay out and know that you have not changed. You are not a better man. You have gotten worse with your nasty vicious bitch that had to hear your complaints with her not me. Tell her the truth of why you lost me in your life. And no longer use me or what delusions that your mentalities think of me in your past. You knew what your problems and issues where and are before your ever forced yourselves into my life and what the summation of your terrorism upon my life is the same as when you were rejected by me to get out of my life. You need your skank and she needs her scumloser.

No matter what you tried to revenge me for it is you that never learns that I have enough weaponry in regard to you to show everyone that you remain that scumloser of a man that I do not want. I do not need. And that you endlessly chase your tail seeking that stupid idiot for a woman who thinks she is better than me when she is not and all that you are are womanizers and will never learn the difference.

Feel better about your little arrogant ignorant skank scumlosers selves for attacking me falsely and wrongfully over who you are and I am not? Truth bite you and kick you in the ass once again? Take your piece of shit with you, you nasty UGLY pieces of shit bitch. I agree with everybody.

I think that these guys are just manipulative, lieing losers. They prey on vulnerable women and make them believe they will give them the world. Or she puts you six feet under. May be you just got trickbagged by a lieing manipulative women version of yourself. So suck it up and pull your thumb out your ass. Stuck as a perpetual fourteen year old. This breed must die out. I just want to voice another view of this debate. Some women like losers because they like to be in control. Not all women have bad self esteem or are trying to fix a man.

Why is it that a man can date any loserish woman he wants yet no one posts about that? If men can use women for sex then I a woman can do the same too! My ex is love with a loser with no job, and living with friends. Despite our kids and home. Her emotional connection to this person more important than family.

Maybe she a loser too. I know I am really late replying to this, but as a female who was engaged to a deadbeat, I feel the need to comment. I met Mr X on a music video set that I was a makeup artist for. At the time he seemed like everything I at 22 albeit a very young 22 wanted. He worked full time, liked music, and was a Goth. I encouraged him to pursue his talent in art however, and remember telling him that working in a chafe at minimum wage was only fine if he intended on becoming the worlds best barrista, or it was his passion. I genuinely enjoyed spending time with Mr X and he was originally very emotionally supportive.

Problems arose when we both went back to study. He refused to get a job, and mooched which resulted in us me going to in to NZD25k of debt. Not an ideal situation. Eventually I realised that at 32 his ways were essentially set in stone. He was happy living off of the student benefit, spending everything on alcohol and partying, not focussing on a school and failing.

I knew I could not change him, and other than general support and encouragement partners give, never did. I guess it came down to being young and stupid and wanting a goth boyfriend. I am now 27, and am still dealing with the consequences of being with a deadbeat. My studies have gone on hold as I put paying back debt at upmost importance most came from him not paying rent in favor of partying and getting tattoos and have nearly payed off everything working a job I hate. I would certainly say that they are really the Big Losers. I see this girl I know, shes a letter carrier,and is attractive.

I feel bad for a lot of these girls, especially the ones that have to have my leftovers, my ex is a dead beat daddy, cower, fake, pedophile, mentally slow, loser. I love our child but wow! I would never date a dead beat father! They just want to get laid and have fun also have some help with the bills if they are loser without any higher education.

When really this is all a way to cover up for the scum bags and loser that they are. Ugh makes me sick! Their own less than decent behavior is thereby justified. Being with a good person removes your own justification for being selfish. Also, girls who only like bad boys are full of it.

Dedicated to your stories and ideas.

Like good men not nice guys they are busy. Some real outlaws do embody being a bad boy, like real bikers. Their reputation precedes them. They just want some attention. They deserve each other. This is oppressive to men. Most women will only have sex with men who behave certain ways and most of those behaviors are correlated with Testosterone levels.

It just so happens that those behaviors are are also correlated with a host of other behaviors that make actual relationships impossible. I lived with a deadbeat pothead woman for 8 years. I loved her so much because she was intelligent, witty, and had a passion for many of the things I liked.

The only problem was that she was extremely lazy and never applied herself. She expected me to do everything. She never offered any emotional support and ended up being more of a roommate than a lover, and a bad roommate at that. She would sit around and play MMOs constantly and not want to do anything else. I showed interest in it and would congratulate her accomplishments. She then started acting like she didnt want me around. I noticed her hiding conversations from me. She was becoming friends with her guildmate and they talked on Skype every day.

Why Do Women Go Out With Deadbeat Losers?

I figured there was no harm in it because he lived all the way in Sweden. I caught them havung Skype sex one night. She revealed to me her plan to move to Sweden with him abd they would meet on Valentines day. I felt so bad. Her treating me better makes me happy but I still feel like something is missing. I like a woman who I can debate politics or philosophy with, not someone who debates about what happens on Real Housewives. She treats me better though, so im happy in this relationship.

I can keep the philosophical debates for my friends. She sounds really feminine to me. Though, maybe you should encourage her to do what you have specified was the probable outcome. You are completely wrong. The majority of us women are not high maintenance, we pay our own bills and all we want is a man who will do the same!!! You women should consider yourselves lucky today since the women years ago along with their men had to struggle to make ends meat. And working or more hours a week plus taking care of the home and kids is a walk in the park? Personally, I wished my wife worked.

With so many very stuck up and high maintenance women out there these days, that makes them real Losers. Is there a special dating site I can go to? I know, I know. Two months later, it became obvious why. Bat-shat crazy with depression, daddy issues, etc. I am a natural fixer in life. I have an excellent job and an awesome family. I fell hard for someone recently that I felt was my mate for life.

At first he showed me his home and land. He told me about his child I am a single mother myself. He had a huge amount of land and a family business. I thought my prayers of finding someone that was hard working like me were over. We enjoyed so many of the same things, and were like peas in a pod.

I noticed after a while… He has a family business that his mother runs. His mother controlled his money, and paid all the bills for his home and land from the family business. I would work all day, and he would nap most of the day. So basically after time, I realized. He sat around and watched TV and napped all day. His once very nice home ended up dirty and very unclean after a while, until his mother visited once a month, then it would be clean again.

There was never food at his house. He also had never been married. He had a child, but never married the mother. His child was a demon when he visited. The man had so much resentment for the childs mother that he let him get away with ridiculous things so that when he returned him to his mother, the child misbehaved with her. Then it just kept going on and on in this relationship. I kept doing more and more and more. We began arguing because he never had money, but nevery wanted to get a job.

During a heated argument…. He was stating something that I had said previously, and was using it against me as he had always done before. He called me a joke. It was not the worst words that he had ever called me.. But it was the truest words he had ever said. I was a joke.

I was the one that let this lowlife person consume me. They were laughing at me and not with me anymore becuase I had gone out with this individual. It was the best words that he ever could have said. I cut the relationship immediately and walked away from that person. I have looked back and do miss him, but not alot.

It was time to move forward and that person was not for me. I missed out on a year and a half of my life. And that is time that I will never get back, but it is the best lesson of a year and a half of my life. It taught me that my values were higher than others and I deserved better. That is complete BS. Okay, maybe some women do, but when a woman keeps picking the same type of loser, she is getting something out of it for herself. My former best friend for thirty years has picked guys with the following qualities: No money, no education, dead beat dad, drug addict, done time in prison, uses everyone and anyone, wants meaningless drug-induced hard-core sex.

She is very shallow. I agree with Victoria, it is about wanting control…with a minimal amount of effort. At first, I thought, she must have some underlying self-esteem issues. But one after another deadbeat came and went, and she pursued all of them like a horny housecat. I began to realize that the men she chooses are the ones she wants.

She gets a feeling of power and superiority over them. And if there is trouble, with the relationship, or even the law etc. When is someone going to write a book about that? It happens less often than men going out with gold diggers. The number of women who pay alimony to men is still a small fraction of men paying alimony to women. Men pay about 97 percent of all alimony. So you should support men that dont want to pay for everything in our modern age where women make just as much money as males.

This happened to me! I was with a once working man who made money, bought me things, while we worked at the same place. I made more than he but he supported his child, and helped with bills while living with me. That all changed once he got fired, started his drug habit again. Weird that someone who had nothing and I gave him everything would do that. Women go out with dead beats and losers because they have no self respect. A man can spot the difference between a woman with self respect, a lady and a skank in the blink of an eye.

Only insecure women date losers. Because if you let it continue, your loser boyfriend is going to use and abuse you…. I read several articles on women empowerment, women issues, feminism, etc. Some of the conclusion which I have drawn are:. Yes, I said the dreaded M-word. Why are women so ashamed or afraid of a little happiness? Be selfish, discover your hot spots, maybe a hidden fetish. This is a cycle of happiness and really good sex. Yes, advice is great and can be extremely helpful.

Sometimes you are truly your own boss, and you have to make the executive decision. It comes down to one thing: You are smart, you are level-headed, and you are capable of being entirely your own person. Choose a life that you have dreamed of living. You will not die if you go to yoga alone. Likewise, going to a bar without your best friend will not cause you to have a seizure.

Your independence will draw in those around you with admiration for your confidence. Yes, I did just find a way to meet people by being alone. You too can be that cool. Looking to calm your dog down without embarrassing yourself or having to get prescription medication? For both of us.

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