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Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control, Volume 2

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It was then that I discovered how I had to deal with my own fears and heal myself in order to meet my daughter's needs and begin the processes of healing her from her fears. This book truly was a God send and I recommend it to everyone I can! I would suggest parents of adopted or foster This book hasn't worked any "magic", but it did help me understand some of my sons behavior. For children with a traumatic background, I believe this method is useful.

I would suggest parents of adopted or foster children read the book. However, the book needs more examples of real life. The three examples given in the chapter for aggression have the child calming down or at least not being physically aggressive when you sit and wait out their behavior calmly.

There is no discussion about what to do when the child is attacking you physically. This book has been life changing in our home. We did not realize until after adoption that we were facing attachment disorder issues. Once I realized how bad things were getting and how wrong the direction we were headed was, I looked for answers and found them in this book. The understanding I have for her behaviors and my own have changed our home.

There is more love, very little yelling and much less stress. I have also been able to apply this to all aspects of my life.

Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control, Volume 2

It gives you a better understanding of people and how their behavior enacts your own fears and as a result your own behaviors. I am much more peaceful and for that I will be forever grateful. I have told everyone I know about this book. My husband and I will be traveling to a seminar in November as well. Thank you so much to Heather and team for writing this book. For so long I thought I was the only adoptive mother with such frustration with my child.

Imagine my frustration when my lovely new daughter adopted at age 10 had her behaviors get worse and worse for almost two years. Finally a therapist recommended this book and it has changed my life.

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English Choose a language for shopping. One person found this helpful. More than that, it gives parents specific strategies for changing their own perceptions with new love-based approaches for specific situations. I went back to the internet for more RAD information , hoping for answers. She is a master at bridging the gap between academic research and real life when the rubber hits the road parenting.

We also went to the the parenting one-day event offered by Heather with free admission if you own the book. We have since attended many online programs as well.

I was skeptical of MANY things at first, especially the idea that the child is triggering my own trauma, since I had a happy childhood. Honestly the biggest thing that overcame my skepticism was meeting Heather in person and seeing her loving heart for parents and children in these circumstances. Now I see that the specifics are not as important as the overall theme and that the message is simple: And life lessons can not be learned when a child is in that place of fight-or-flight fear.

It is amazing how the brain chemistry of all of this works and how the approach over time can truly build new neuro-pathways. I think that focusing not on "how can I change my child's behavior" but on "how can I improve my relationship with my child" has truly brought me peace, and over the past year has changed my family life dramatically. I also realized that my daughter WAS reacting to and triggering my stuff.

Even thought it wasn't childhood trauma, she was challenging my status quo of what you "just don't do" and causing me to fear for her future and my family stability. Looking inward in a loving manner at yourself as well as at your child is important to this new paradigm. Is every sentence in this book going to match your circumstances? But the kernels of truth within have the opportunity to truly make a difference in the lives of those affected by children with severe behaviors and post-traumatic issues.

I love this book so much I am now purchasing the electronic addition for my new Kindle! See all reviews. Most recent customer reviews. Published 10 days ago. Published 12 days ago.

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Parenting the Hurt Child: Helping Adoptive Families Heal and Grow. Pages with related products. The disheartening thing was for the therapist to admit this was a very difficult thing to counsel and that we would need a specialistof which there were none in our area. I went back to the internet for more RAD information , hoping for answers. It was through that that I discovered Beyond Consequences. I began reading it on my Kindle that very night, stay up quite late. Suddenly there seemed to be hope because it all made sense.

I asked my husband who's not usually into psych stuff, to read it. He was blown away, saying that everything sounded like our daughter. We immediately began putting the principles into practice. And just as immediately we saw results. Before the book, we had tried all the "tried and true" consequence-based advice to no avail. Now instead we aim to keep ourselves in check which is hard for me as I have realized my own anger issues.

We respond instead with love and kindness. In turn she regulates and then we can move on. My husband- who hated even being in the same house when she was home--sees hope for our futures. I truly believe that it was a blessing that there was no "help" in our area because it probably would have been the exact advice that BC explains doesn't work, and could even make the problems worse. We only wish we had found this book years ago, but are thankful that her brain doesn't fully form until age Perhaps the damage can be repaired.

If you're at a loss and have tried all the other "expert advice" without success, you have nothing else to lose than give this paradigm a try. And if you're wondering if Vol 2 just rephrases 1, I assure you that you will find new and even more difficult problems addressed. Trust me- I know. Reading this book has changed me as a parent and as an educator. This book is written perfectly. Heather compares the traditional approaches which are easy to connect with with the new approaches. By this comparison, along with Real Life scenarios again-relatable , solutions become possible!

Sincerely and seriously- this book is a MUST read! My best to you!! Jun 15, Rachelle rated it it was amazing. Applicable in every relationship. Every parent could benefit-no matter how old your children are. Sep 10, Go2therock rated it really liked it. I have to admit, I'm a traditional parent; but I'm also a committed parent, willing to do whatever is necessary to love and affirm my children.

I recognize the 'traditional way's that are described at the end of each chapter, demonstrating the approach usually given to children in various challenges. I've lived most of them, to some degree. The 'new way', the approach Heather Forbes is advocating has blended into my parenting of my adopted children over the years as well, although not as strongl I have to admit, I'm a traditional parent; but I'm also a committed parent, willing to do whatever is necessary to love and affirm my children.

The 'new way', the approach Heather Forbes is advocating has blended into my parenting of my adopted children over the years as well, although not as strongly as she outlines. I've been bringing more and more of her ways to the interactions between my youngest and myself. I have been greatly helped by an awareness of the background of trauma, dys-regulation, and low threshold to stress described by Heather. My daughter lives in and acts out of these in her constant, everyday situations. She is oblivious, and approaching this from a point of logic is pointless.

She is eighteen years old and believes she is extremely logical smiley face , so it is to this that she will appeal. Well, THAT hasn't been working! I can't completely buy-off on all that Heather advocates - at times it feels 'abusive' to put it plainly.

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To me, not my child. I don't buy that these children are incapable of manipulation, either. But I'm going farther down this road than I've ever gone before, and it is definitely helping.

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I've underlined the heck out of my book and will be using it as self-centering guidance and reference from now on. I have found this book to be a gem! Since our two foster daughters moved in, I have used this method with great success. They have progressed to the point that there are far fewer melt-downs, and they seem much more calm overall.

Dare to Parent Beyond Consequences-Part I

Apr 16, John rated it really liked it Shelves: This is a great book to help us to see the impact we make on the lives of others, especially our children. Children need their parents. They also need the love and affection of their parents.

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Great book, but learning to apply the principles amy not be as easy as it sounds. Enter your mobile number or email address below and we'll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required. To get the free app, enter your mobile phone number. Would you like to tell us about a lower price? Learn more about Amazon Prime. This second volume of Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control is an evolution of the first volume; it begins where Volume 1 left off!

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Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control, Vol. 2 Paperback – November 7, Heather T. Forbes, LCSW, offers families a new view to parenting children with difficult and severe behaviors. In her new book, Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control: A Love Based Approach to Helping. Editorial Reviews. Review. Heather Forbes has an uncanny knack for shining a healing light on Book 2 of 3 in Beyond Consequences (3 Book Series).

It offers even more empowering examples and more practical applications. Volume 2 addresses seven behaviors rooted in fear including poor social skills, demanding behaviors, self-injury, defensive attitudes, no conscience, homework battles, and chores. This book includes current research on the brain and how it affects behavior, giving you scientific explanations of why children misbehave.

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This isn't just a book just for parents of adopted or foster children. This is a book for parents of all children who seek to love unconditionally! Read more Read less. Audible book Switch back and forth between reading the Kindle book and listening to the Audible book with Whispersync for Voice. Books In This Series 3 Books. Page 1 of 1 Start Over Page 1 of 1. Kindle Cloud Reader Read instantly in your browser. Customers who bought this item also bought. Page 1 of 1 Start over Page 1 of 1. Beyond Consequences, Logic and Control: Dare to Love Beyond Consequences Book 3.

Wounded Children, Healing Homes: Product details File Size: July 1, Sold by: Related Video Shorts 0 Upload your video. Share your thoughts with other customers. Write a customer review. Read reviews that mention parents child parent heather parenting trauma adopted behavior behaviors understanding vol adoptive helpful changed severe approach traditional ideas principles fantastic. There was a problem filtering reviews right now. Please try again later. Kindle Edition Verified Purchase. We have been almost any of the families described in this book.

The only situation we've missed is cutting. On the night before I bought Beyond Consequences, Vol 1, my husband and I agreed we had lost all hope of having a normal life and a normal child. We did not think our 17 year-old daughter could ever support herself, yet the thought of her continuing to live with us was a nightmare.

My husband believed that her behaviors would eventually put her in jail.

The curious thing was that no one else ever saw a problem in her, leaving us with the guilt that we were doing everything wrong and that her anger was directed specifically at us. The disheartening thing was for the therapist to admit this was a very difficult thing to counsel and that we would need a specialistof which there were none in our area. I went back to the internet for more RAD information , hoping for answers.

It was through that that I discovered Beyond Consequences. I began reading it on my Kindle that very night, stay up quite late. Suddenly there seemed to be hope because it all made sense.