The Impossible Perfect Marriage
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Mary Laner thinks that we expect too much. Instead, we blame our spouse or that particular relationship. The ASU sociologist studied the marital expectations of unmarried college students. She compared their expectations with those of people who have been married for about 10 years. In fact, the divorce rate in the United States is just over half of the marriage rate. Many researchers, including Laner, lay at least part of the blame for this statistic on those unrealistic expectations.
- The Neuroscience of Fair Play: Why We (Usually) Follow the Golden Rule.
- Are you living in a Zombie Marriage?.
- Quinox. El ángel oscuro 1: Exilio (Universo Quinox Nº 1) (Spanish Edition).
- Handbook of Citizenship Studies.
Laner points out that much of the existing marital therapy literature is concerned with the problem. And, she adds, many of us continue to take our zealous ideas of what marriage should be into the next relationship and the next, and so on. As far as expectations are concerned, this may be a reflection of the primacy of hope over experience, followed once again by disillusionment. Why do we expect so much and doom ourselves to disappointment?
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Laner says one reason is the fact that we live in a mass society. The move away from tribal or village economies into a mass society also has fostered our sense of individualism; a sense that has had an impact on our expectations.
This has led us to a point where we expect one person to meet an impossible volume of needs. We expect to fall in love with someone who will take care of us, raise the children, pursue a career and let us pursue ours, fix the plumbing, cook the meals, mow the lawn, keep the house clean and, of course, be a caring, considerate friend and lover. Not only do we have all of our needs met by one another, but we also have these little gravies running around and making us happy. Laner believes that the only way those expectations will change is through education.
Lord, thank you for turning marriages around.
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Thank you for making what seemed impossible possible! I praise you for the testimonies that will come in the future as you remind us to seek you first in all things. As we press into greater intimacy with you Lord, we believe in our hearts for marriages to be reconciled and restored for your glory.
You can find it HERE. This counselor turned homeschool mama loves to provide daily adventures for my boys while encouraging them to learn about the big, busy world around them. With a cold latte in hand and my latest read under my arm, I'm usually seen looking for monster trucks and chasing my little people. In my spare time, you will catch me spending time with family and friends, at live music festivals and on the hunt for a new favorite dessert.
Your email address will not be published. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. Yes, add me to your mailing list. Such great encouragement and wise words. I love that you included a prayer in your post as well.
The Myth of the Perfect Marriage
This is so very important. The Lord is faithful and will protect us as we submit to Him. I think this a great post. I am sharing with all my married friends. Keep up the good work. I area marriage can be a challenge. In July it will be 20 years. Praying for my husband and our marriage is so important.
Congratulations on 20 years Mary! I pray many more happy, healthy years for you and your husband. Thanks for sharing on the LMMLinkup this past week. Yes, the enemy is after the whole family. We must always remain vigilant when it comes to our marriage and our home. What a blessing this series will be. I just read Day 1 today! I am looking forward to reading more. May God bless you, Angel.
What a great post! Thanks so much for sharing. I love when you shared that the enemy is not just after our husbands, but that we need to be aware that he is after us and our entire family as well!!! The prayer is beautiful. Hey Angel Wonderful post! I think years are hard.
I was asking God the wrong question. My husband dropped me at the hospital and he went to our friends house who were aware of the situation. Similarly, by learning new communication techniques, you can drastically reduce your risk of growing apart and ending the relationship. Jesus IS the answer. Return to Book Page.
I am hosting a prayer challenge this month pray of me to be the voice God wants. Thanks for these posts! We are off to a great start! Thank you Angel for offering this series. I will be praying for us all to encourage and be encouraged by one another and that we remember that Jesus is always faithful to us and will carry us through anything. I will be showing this challenge to my husband.
We are always looking for more ways to grow in faith and love. Becky, I am so glad that you are here.
It is my hope that you find encouragement during this series. Would love to hear how you and your husband grow during the series!