Pretty Is What Changes: Impossible Choices, The Breast Cancer Gene, and How I Defied My Destiny

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I hope she enjoys many healthy, cancer-free years ahead of her. Oct 30, Amanda rated it it was amazing. I am a 32 year old and a 1 year Breast Cancer Survivor so this book hit close to home for me. I had to take this book chapter by chapter and in stages to read. It took me awhile to read all of this because it was very emotional for me. It was pretty eerie reading through the book and remembering my mother going through the same stages as I am a 32 year old and a 1 year Breast Cancer Survivor so this book hit close to home for me.

It was pretty eerie reading through the book and remembering my mother going through the same stages as her mother. I never thought somebody else would ever be able to relate to what I had gone through. Personally having the BRCA1 gene really touched upon my feelings - mainly the decisions that I have had to make over the last year. Jessica Queller is a wonderful author and really brings to the forefront the issues that are involved with this gene mutation.

Early detection and proactive steps are the most important lessons in having the BRCA1 and in this book. You are a hero and a brave soul to reach out to other people who walk a similar path as you! Thank you for sharing your story. It gives me hope and courage.

Feb 18, Courtney rated it liked it Shelves: The subject matter of this book made for a difficult read, but I was really curious about the author's journey. After watching her mother die of cancer, the author took a test to find out that she was positive for a mutated gene that caused an increase in her chance of getting breast cancer.

She had to make a difficult decision as to have preventative surgery to lower her risk. It was definitely one of those books where I wanted to cry at certain points, just to let off some of the pressure--I c The subject matter of this book made for a difficult read, but I was really curious about the author's journey. It was definitely one of those books where I wanted to cry at certain points, just to let off some of the pressure--I can only imagine what the actual situation was like!

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This is probably an important book for women to read, but enter into it knowing what you'll be reading about. May 14, Alissa rated it liked it Recommends it for: Mar 22, Renee rated it really liked it Shelves: What would YOU do if your mother recently died from ovarian cancer and previously had breast cancer and you found out that, because of a gene you carried, there was an alarmingly elevated risk of developing breast cancer before the age of fifty; that there was an up to 87 percent chance you too would develop breast cancer and an up to 44 percent chance of developing ovarian cancer?

Would you forge ahead and live your best life, even with this dark, high risk shadow over your head? Or would you What would YOU do if your mother recently died from ovarian cancer and previously had breast cancer and you found out that, because of a gene you carried, there was an alarmingly elevated risk of developing breast cancer before the age of fifty; that there was an up to 87 percent chance you too would develop breast cancer and an up to 44 percent chance of developing ovarian cancer? Or would you take a preemptive, science-based approach by surgically removing the body parts most at risk for becoming riddled with disease?

Gilmore Girls writer Jessica Queller shares how—single, 34, with no kids—she faced this gut-wrenching dilemma, while her 'biological clock' is clanging. Analyzing her options from the heart and from the head, Queller interviews doctors and researches the latest in medicine, while also getting guidance and support from other women faced with the same choice, in order make the decision that's best for her. Queller also gives an incredibly moving tribute to family that supports you until the bitter end, to the complex and complicated beauty of the mother-daughter bond, and to the nurturing strength of sisterhood.

Apr 20, Rita Ciresi rated it really liked it. A sobering look at a contentious mother-daughter relationship and the difficult choices that face women identified as carrying BRCA gene mutation. This memoir was written ten years ago, but the story continues to underscores the importance of getting counseling prior to undergoing genetic testing.

Pretty Is What Changes: Impossible Choices, the Breast Cancer Gene, and How I Defied My Destiny

Jul 02, Kim Kamis rated it liked it. Jessica is an excellent writer and it's a compelling read. She is faced with terrible choices regarding her seemingly healthy body. The book does drag a bit, but I'd definitely recommend it for any woman faced with this disease. Jul 21, Abby rated it it was amazing. Informative, yet heartwarming memoir about the author's struggle with genetic testing and a looming cancer diagnosis.

Mar 29, Tara rated it it was amazing Recommends it for: This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. This book touched me very deeply and I was overwhelmed by how open Jessica Queller was with her very personal experience. I'm still kind of reeling from it. She faced the very personal decision -- prevent the cancer by having This book touched me very deeply and I was overwhelmed by how open Jessica Queller was with her very personal experience. She faced the very personal decision -- prevent the cancer by having a prophylactic bilateral mastectomy and oompherectomy or undergo aggressive surveillance for cancer every 6 months for the rest of her life.

Jessica and her sister Danielle, along with their father Fred, helped their mother fight breast cancer and then helplessly watched as their mother Stephanie, died from ovarian cancer. Jessica was prompted by a doctor cousin to go ahead and get tested for the gene mutation that would indicate the possibility of breast cancer. When she tested positive for BRCA-1 she was overwhelmed.

Jessica began a lengthy research adventure to learn her options as well as gain strength from friends and family as she determined what to do with this new information. At the time Jessica found out she was positive, she was single and had no children. The idea of removing her breasts and ovaries was very concerning for her -- what man would want a woman who had no breasts and no ovaries?

Jessica began meeting other women who had either tested positive or were in the middle of fighting their own breast cancer. She made her decision, have the prophylactic bilateral mastectomy and eventually have the oompherectomy but first have a child or 2 -- even on her own -- before removing the ovaries. Jessica then wrote an Op-Ed piece that appeared in the New York Times about her mother's battles with cancer as well as her own pre-vivor battle and all the information she was able to find. She was met with an overwhelming response from women who wished her luck and felt great sympathy for her but were also amazed by the decision she had made.

The decision to have the mastectomy turns out to be a good one when the doctor tells her she did have pre-cancer cells in her breast tissues. At the time she wrote the book , she was still single at age 37 but was looking forward to having a child before removing the ovaries.

Jessica's courage flows throughout the book. Her fears over a future without breasts and ovaries are very honest and upfront. She does not take on the issue of cancer and surgery lightly and she did a lot of research on her own as well as had many discussions with a lot of doctors before she made her decision. She also found a lot of support from her friends and family, as well as strangers she met over the course of her journey.

To me, she is courageous and brave. I don't know if I would have the strength or the courage to forge that road. As a single woman, I sympathized with her dating dramas and her fears of what a man would think of her post-surgery; cancer has deeply affected my own family. I found myself crying throughout most of this book, some of those tears were out of sadness the scene where Jessica and Danielle find out their mother has died was heartbreaking and some tears of joy the birth of Jessica's nephew.

This is a book I would recommend to anyone, it doesn't matter if your life has been touched by cancer or not, read this book. She is fresh and upfront and honest and I found that to be so wonderful. I rarely read memoirs, but this is one that I think I could read repeatedly and learn something new from it every time.

Jan 22, TheCosyDragon rated it liked it. This review has been crossposted from my blog at The Cosy Dragon. Please head there for more in-depth reviews by me, which appear on a timely schedule. It's given to her in the baldest way possible, yet it will change her life radically.

KIRKUS REVIEW

I've got a vested interest in reading this novel. It's part fiction, part fact, and it hits close to home. I have a family history of reproductiv This review has been crossposted from my blog at The Cosy Dragon. I have a family history of reproductive cancers, and I've often considered whether I'll need a mastectomy. Somehow I feel like her case was sort of divinely touched. She didn't have any huge problems with her reconstruction or anything else. It makes it a bit different that this is in the USA. I'd almost guarantee that Australian women, and women in other countries don't have access to the same resources.

I found it interesting that a writer would find then to write something like this. I certainly wish I had time! Writing is her thing and she uses it to promote awareness for this cancer, which is great. I picked up this novel off of the super reduced stack at uni. The partner bought it for me, figuring I'd start it and not necessarily finish it. Or maybe he thought it was a present for my mother. Anyway I settled down to read it, and he couldn't believe I was taking the time to do it.

Sometimes I like an easy to read fiction book! His argument was that the writer was some sort of person he'd read about or something. I don't follow movies or anything so I had no idea. I'm evaluating the movie purely on what I read. Jessica spins the tale convincingly. I felt the changes in the protagonist and at times it was painful to read. I didn't necessarily empathise - I'd chop off my breasts in an instant if I knew I would reduce my chances of cancer. But then I'm not partner shopping either.

The title of the book was really well applicable to the contents. It's not that she feels ugly afterwards, she's got fantastic new breasts! But it's rooted in what her mother thought of her, so it's deeper than the reader would think. Would I recommend this novel for breast cancer survivors? Not in Australia though perhaps.

I would recommend it for those women thinking about being tested for BRCA mutations or preventative surgery. Any more insight you can have is good insight. Jun 09, Angela Smith rated it liked it. I thought I would like this book better. It was written by a woman in her mid 30s, who discovered that she had the breast cancer gene. The book chronicles her life as she learns to accept the diagnosis and what it means, and through her decision to have prophylactic mastecomy and reconstruction.

Because of my personal connection to the topic, I thought I would be really moved by the book I heard about it on NPR a few weeks ago and couldn't wait to read it. But the author really bothered me. I I thought I would like this book better. I couldn't relate to her at all - she is a wealthy woman from New York with a priveleged upbringing who had a great job in the entertainment industry that paid lots of money. The thought of getting the surgery never seemed to go to a very deep level she talked a lot about her mother's ideal of feminine beauty.

It all seemed shallow. A lot of her internal dialogue about whether or not to get the surgery focused on whether or not she could find a man who would want to be with her.

Pretty Is What Changes

I realize that this is a real concern, and maybe because I am with someone now I don't fully understand it. But in the grand scheme of things, that would be closer to the bottom of my list. It also bothered me that in her decision making, she never had to think about how to pay for the surgeries or how to support herself while she was recovering. It's great that she didn't have to worry about it, but that's not reality for the majority of people facing this decision, or any other major medical decision for that matter.

Health insurance maximums or co-payments, and not being able to afford the time off of work without pay, make these decisions almost impossible to make for too many people.

I do have a personal connection to this topic, which is what saved this book. It is just one more thing that I've read in my own decision making process, and I'm sure that when I get to the other side and have made a decision, that I will feel comfortable with that decision partly because of what I've read. Apr 28, Suzanne rated it liked it Shelves: Couldn't put the book down. Well-written and quickly paced.

It captures the uncertainty of dealing with breast cancer risk, BRCA testing, and the process of making decisions after a positive test in an honest way. The author didn't flinch from telling a three-dimensional story: I appreciated how many different breast cancer and ovarian cancer stories are woven in from women Jessica knows or meets during her Couldn't put the book down. I appreciated how many different breast cancer and ovarian cancer stories are woven in from women Jessica knows or meets during her journey. This gave the book some heft and context. I also like how the author touched issues related to surgical options for women with BRCA mutations, and not just about body image.

This is not an exhaustive treatment of the issue of BRCA testing, nor is the author's personal privileged East Coast background and current Hollywood life going to resonate with all readers.

Most working poor and middle-class women with breast cancer risk or BRCA mutations have their situation seriously complicated by finances and health insurance. Ultimately, though, there are just two books with personal stories about BRCA genetic mutation testing this and Blood Matters , and I recommend reading both.

It's important to have a plurality of views and experiences around an issue where the patient drives so much of the decision-making process. Jan 04, Angela rated it it was amazing Shelves: When Jessica learns about the genetic test for the breast cancer gene, she decides to get tested to put her mind at ease. But she tests positive for BRCA-1 and her life spirals out of orbit. Now she is faced with a decision: Although the topic is serious, the book is written with life-affirming warmth and gentleness.

The tender mother-daughter relationship flowers with unexpected urgency. Jessica's own internal battle about what to do with her knowledge is heart-wrenching and poignant. I never expected the magnetic pull of the book or the magical impact it would have on my life.

PRETTY IS WHAT CHANGES by Jessica Queller | Kirkus Reviews

Suddenly my desire to become healthier has taken on a new meaning and challenges I once thought insurmountable have instead become the proverbial molehill. If you get a chance, please visit Jessica's website at www. Jun 19, Sarah rated it liked it. I think this memoir is better served for people for people who haven't had the option to forego cancer or fight like hell if it does come along. Which I didn't think I would want to do anyways.

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She had the option of having children and then removing her ovaries. Her breasts had to go. For me, since I had been through chemo and watched countle I think this memoir is better served for people for people who haven't had the option to forego cancer or fight like hell if it does come along. For me, since I had been through chemo and watched countless others suffer, it was a no-brainer.

But she hemmed and hawed - sometimes self-indulgently - before reaching her decision. The author says several times that if her mom had the chance, she would have just done it. And the description of her mother refusing to let go of her body because she didn't want to die And her struggle is valid; it just lacked the element of choice that I had in mine. For that, I'm resentful, but I think others will easily view it differently. Sep 13, Kelsey rated it really liked it. This book made me cry, I'll admit it.

The author's mother struggles with breast cancer and then, years later, is diagnosed with aggressive ovarian cancer which ultimately kills her. In her early thirties, uninvolved, but really wanting to get married and have children, Jessica struggles with he This book made me cry, I'll admit it. In her early thirties, uninvolved, but really wanting to get married and have children, Jessica struggles with her options: There's most definitely a lot to dislike about the particulars of this story Jessica complaining about being a 32D and how men have always loved her breasts; her being so skinny that she doesn't have enough fat on her body to use for reconstructive surgery; an appearance-obsessed mother who insists on buying her high end clothes; being teased at school because her wealthy family had a chaffeur , However, the portrayal of one real woman facing what is an appalling common cancer makes this book worth reading, as does the story of the amazing community of women that she meets along the way.

I admire Jessica Queller for many reasons, most of all because as she was going through the hell that is BRCA testing and making the decision to pursue prophylactic measures she worked her decisions out by writing and consulting many, many, many people. Most people do not do this. They take one physicians opinion and that's what they do.

Most people do not question as much as Jessica Queller did. The results come back positive, putting her at a terrifyingly elevated risk of developing breast cancer before the age of fifty and ovarian cancer in her lifetime. Thirty-four, unattached, and yearning for marriage and a family of her own, Queller faces an agonizing choice: Pretty Is What Changes is an absorbing account of how she reaches her courageous decision and its physical, emotional, and philosophical consequences.

It is also an incredibly moving story of what we inherit from our parents and how we fashion it into the stuff of our own lives, of mothers and daughters and sisters, and of the sisterhood that forms when women are united in battle against a common enemy. Without flinching, Jessica Queller answers a question we may one day face for ourselves: If genes can map our fates and their dark knowledge is offered to us, will we willingly trade innocence for the information that could save our lives? Readers will be rooting for Queller and her heroic decision to confront her genetic destiny.

The ending will surprise you. Her prescience is astounding. Her courage is inspirational. Read more Read less. Prime Book Box for Kids. Kindle Cloud Reader Read instantly in your browser. Customers who bought this item also bought. Page 1 of 1 Start over Page 1 of 1. The Things I Want Most: The Making of a Cardiologist.

Life and Death in a Top Heart Center. Living and Dying in Brick City: Product details File Size: April 1, Sold by: Related Video Shorts 0 Upload your video. Share your thoughts with other customers. Write a customer review. Read reviews that mention brca jessica mutation positive women queller journey memoir informative tested mother honest testing mutations decision risk mastectomy touched ovarian emotional.

There was a problem filtering reviews right now. Please try again later. Kindle Edition Verified Purchase. Jessica Queller shares an intimate story of testing positive for the BRCA mutation, while making it accessible to a wide audience. Her story brings hope and perspective, and sheds light on a challenging topic.

I was engaged throughout. Thank you, Jessica, and family, for your candor. Whatever misconceptions I previously might have had about this disease were eliminated by the courage of the author and her friends and family. This was, all told, an inspiring and uplifting story about what is really important in life. Great book, informative but not to the point that you get lost in statistics. I like that she kept the story going. Very easy read, emotional at times but considering I am looking at Bi-lateral Mastectomy, it hit close to home.

Book was recommended by my Radiologist to better understand cancer, family and genetics testing and it gave me even more insight than I expected. I bought this book to get more info on BRCA and the process the author went thru. I am debating my next step and this book just pushed me in making the right decision to reduce my risk. I highly recommend this book to anybody with a family history of "female cancers", both the women and the men who love them. Ms Queller has opened her soul so others can know that they have choices.

Thank you for your bravery. This book is a great start towards asking our own questions and finding the courage to listen to the answers. The author explained her gene risk for breast cancer and ovarian cancer in an emotional informative way. Our test results are that we all have a "variant" that is the same so it is genetic but it is a variant that the lab has never seen in the whole world thus it is "uncertain" what it means other than it is genetically being passed in our family.

Reading this book helped me understand gene mutations.

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The author truly is "beautiful" inside and out. Having gone through many of these emotions fears surgeries and procedures myself I wanted to hear others experiences. Comforting in many ways but also terrifying how common it is.

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