I Used To Steal Money From My Mother

I used to steal money from my mother’s purse: Jennifer Aniston

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She went behind my back spending my savings which was my future. I don't understand how this is possible. Where was she in all this? Egypt - a holiday I had paid for without my knowledge as she 'needed a break'. Prosecuting Miss Emma Keogh said: Miss Bathie thought it was a good idea, she trusted her implicitly and both she and her mother were very close. But as time progressed it is clear her mother was using the account as her own - using the account to pay for whatever she needed. But she was shocked when she got a phone call from the fraud department at NatWest in June last year querying a payment to the Vue Cimema in Barrow and a transaction through Amazon.

He ignored the texts. Her mother then insisted that she wanted to speak to her and didn't admit anything. It started by Denvar asking her mother about payments, her mother insisting she wanted to speak to her, 'yes stop panicking', she said she needed to talk to her, she said she had been using her daughter's card and had been borrowing money from her daughter and was always going to pay it back.

While she says there has been moments over the Christmas period she still doesn't feel in a position she wants to rekindle the relationship. In mitigation defence counsel Miss Rosalind Emsley-Smith said Collins' motivation for the thefts was to help her youngest daughter Maisy cope with the death of her father. You can to go to small claims court, when you're ready, and you have all the evidence to show she has that amount of your money.

Just keep any texts emails that discuss the money owed, and keep them backed up somewhere safe in case you lose your phone. The tribe has spoken, my other post on this topic was moderated out I might be shadow banned as well, but everyone telling the OP to call the cops and leaving out the part about Nmom kicking her out pissed me off. Whenever I've enteracted with the police which for the most part has only been due to my family madness the police ether didn't care or sided with NDad.

I can't imagine the cops actually getting the OP her money back and the Nmom not kicking her out. At the very least we're talking hell on earth at home. Now small claims court makes a bit more sense the burden of proof is much lower for a civil case so you might won but I still wouldn't do this without a new place to stay.

To each his own. Actually in some countries they need to support you till you are 27 while you are in education. Don't be so quick in assuming what the law is. Aside from maybe a flight home and a jacket or two I've gotten nothing from my parents love ya sis some months were rough and you helped me out! I've also had full control over my life , all mistakes have been mine alone.

That's something I can't get about this sub, you can't have both freedom and support. Here's a question, say OP calls the cops and Nmom goes to jail. How exactly is Nmom going to support the OP from behind bars and with a criminal record that will stop Nmom from ever getting a job again?

In German law it is not. If they stop paying, you can get the money from the state, and they will get it back from your parents. We have a special service for all kinds of alimony, who is there exactly for this scenario, so alimony cannot be used to control or blackmail people.

You can even go full NC and they st i ll have to pay that way, isn't that sweet? As for your question, that is why she should just threaten with the police, or take back the report once she realized she is fucked, well, she fucked herself to be precise, and complies with your wishes. Sadly extortion is sometimes necessary when you deal with N's, and as long as she just threatens to get her money back it is not even extortion on a legal sense. Tread with caution here. You live in her house, so if the police option is on the table, be prepared to be kicked out of the house.

This is true, but you would need to be given notice, which is generally a month regardless of if you pay rent or have a written lease. If this was a city I lived in and this happened, the mother would be arrested for Felony theft, deprivation of property, and Battery. It would also be a domestic violence issue because they are related and in a "relationship".

It is, but it is also Officer Discretion if it escalates. If I had came to that house I would just yell at them to knock it off and figure it out If this was any place I've ever lived, the cops would refuse to take a report, because according to them basically any crime less serious than a murder is "a civil matter" and nothing they can be bothered with. So in case OP lives in a place like I live instead of a place like you live, any advice on getting the cops to take a report instead of blowing her off?

Have you ever STOLEN money from your parents?

If her mother touches her in an unwanted way again, call the cops. Tell them that she is being physically battered or assaulted. Battery is as simple and someone poking you, or any kind of unwanted or threatening TOUCH, Assault here is up to and including any verbal threats or abuse that leads the person to believe they will be harmed.

Check on womens shelters in the area and explain the abuse. A lot of them will get you with a counselor. The taking of the phone could be considered Criminal Deprivation of property, even though the mother might pay for it. If OP depends on that phone or a job, school, etc, it can be looked on as such. Taking the dollars worth of money is the real zinger.

Her taking that money without her clear consent is grounds for Felony Theft not Robbery, she would physically have to take it from her for it to be that. Walk into the station and make a report. That isn't all police. Ok so op here just got my mother arrested how in the flying fuck am I going to go to college now? Then it's still actionable in small claims court. Hell, if OP still has their pay stubs and other records, then Judge Judy would be all over this one.

OP's mom would provide a dramatic show and both of them would come out ahead, since everybody on that show gets paid. It would be a win-win-win.

Thank you for your response! She did steal from me, but she doesn't see it as that And I think at the end of this month after this bill I will cancel it and get a new phone. Text her about the moeny again. I really want to save up for school and I'm sorry that I acted this way earlier. I realize I need to be a more respectful daughter. I worked really hard because I look up to you.

Also, if you're here, you know your mom is a narc, right? Following that, You absolutely need to distance yourself as much as possible. Sacrifice comfort for stability and ownership of your things. Your own bank account. Don't fucking trust them for anything. I could go on but this needs to be a separate post.

If she sends a text asking that question and the mother replies, its automatic 2 party consent. I was clarifying the "too varied to be reliable" part. Text is implied consent, but is not always admissible because it can be difficult to prove who physically send the text. Not that OP shouldn't go to the cops anyway, she definitely should. Oh I definitely see your point. Those other factors definitely do play in though. Lawyer doesn't really matter during the initial phases of charging. This this this this this, please OP, do this!

This is how you'll get your money back! Please, OP, this is great advice. If you want to get your money back, do this. I like this too. It really is the best way to deal with narcissists. I also think this is the best option.

Get her to incriminate herself as much as possible. Ask her again why she took it, and when she refuses to give it back, tell her you're 18 years old and it's your money because you worked for it. Spell it all out in black and white so there is no doubt when you come forward with the evidence. Don't let on you're trying to get her to trap herself, or that you'll go to the police or anything, or she'll find a way to turn it against you.

She'll probably lie anyway and say she's charging you for rent now or whatever. You need to make it obvious that something like that was never the case and she's trying to backpedal out of it. I really do like this idea, but she may not answer my texts. So, I have a different plan.

She's picking me up from work tonight, so I'm going to have my voice recorder on my phone in my pocket and I'll bring it up. But thank you so much for this idea! It's very clear your mom just wants to control you and your money. Since you're 18, you're old enough to get your own bank account. Make sure when you get one to make it where only you get access to the funds, online statements only or that it goes to a PO Box instead of your address. Speaking of funds, check if your job does direct deposit. Don't go for those direct pay cards where your paycheck gets deposited into them, there's tons of fees with those I know first hand since I did customer service for those.

As for the cellphone, you're old enough to have your own plan under a contract. You might also wanna shop around for some regional providers Cricket, Metro PCS, etc or prepaid plans that would fit you the best. And telling her how much you make needs to end now, OP. That is information she will always use against you. So information about money and access to money needs to stop.

Nmom lost her privileges. I wanna second that "get your own bank account and phone" thingy. Make sure she has 0 authority on either of those. I just thought of this, but ask your employer to cancel that check if she hasn't cashed it already. They can re-issue it if it's been stolen. Thank you for your advice! Sorry that I didn't make that clear in the beginning! But thank you again: Well my advice is to keep your paychecks in check form around her, then.

She can't cash those, and if she does, it's fraud and the bank will reimburse you and possibly prosecute her. I would also suggest a secret account that she doesn't know about. My guess is that your self-control is way better than her sense of boundaries! Honestly, call the cops. Yeah, it's gonna wreak a bit of havoc, but you most likely will either get your money back or she won't do it again. Also, you are 18, NOT a "little girl". You are not a little anything.

This isn't parenting, this is down right abusive behavior.

When Mom Steals From Her Kid

She needs to learn to respect you. Confront her about the money, record the conversation, call the cops, and put an end to her stealing from you. Also, just give her your phone and buy your own. You don't need that held over your head, and make sure you never leave money where she can steal it again.

Here is the thing, people like this will do whatever it takes to keep you down. She will do everything she can to ensure you don't get ahead in life, that you don't get away from her. You have to take a stand somewhere. There are ways to get instantly independent. Military is an option to get college paid for while getting job experience in a field that translates well into civilian career field.

It's what I did and I never looked back. If you want more info about that route, let me know. Just remember, you don't have to live like that. You can take a stand for yourself and get out from this abuse. I'm giving her one more chance tonight to give it back. If she doesn't then I will go to the police.

My only concern is that she says that she's just holding on to my money until after I go on this family vacation, and then she's going to put it into a savings account for me. She says she has no intention to spend my money. Would the police be able to do anything about it? How many chances have you given her? If she hasn't given it back now, she isn't going to and you know it. What you are doing is trying to find a way to excuse the behavior or get around doing what needs to be done, and I understand why, because it's very difficult and very hard to do.

However, doing what is right and standing up for yourself is never easy. She is going to act worse once you do, because she is used to getting her way and knows that if she throws a fit, you will probably back down. Think of it like a toddler at a store. The easy thing to do is give in, since it shuts the toddler up, but then it becomes a learned behavior that everyone must suffer through.

And yes the police could do something about it. If it is your money, it's stealing, and she has to give it back. The law is the law. You had no agreement for her to take it or hold it. Do what is right for you. Whatever that is, but don't take the easy route or back down once you do. Courage is not with the absence of fear.

Welcome to Reddit,

It's natural and okay to be afraid, but don't let that be what guides you and drives you or your life will suck immensely. She'll just have to pay the full retail price or buy off ebay -making sure it's not carrier locked-. This made me sick to read. I'd call the police, though it'll be futile unless you have proof. If it's legal where you're from, I'd try to use your phone if you can to record her taking about how she has your savings and won't give them back. Especially since she's blackmailing you into doing things for money.

If there is proof doesn't matter. Nmother will have to cash the cheque, there are cameras at the bank and records, etc. If the police shows up to question her, she'll have to give it back. It's really difficult to go through to be honest. I worked hard for my money, even though it's not that much. Tonight I'm going to record our conversation, and I'm going to bring up this topic with her again.

She just committed felony larceny. Get her texting what it will take to get your money back, then take that text as proof to the police and file a criminal complaint. She's trying to steal your future away, your ability to leave her behind. It is an intimidation tactic. You have a better one. Either use it now, or prepare for her to get even worse as going unpunished for this CRIME will only further embolden her psychosis. This is not normal behavior, and you have a right to stop her. I'm actually going to record our conversation tonight about it when I bring it up in the car.

I feel like that would be better evidence. Have your salary direct deposited to an account that is not attached to her as a "guardian. If she does not return the money, do not buy a single gift to anyone. If they wonder why, the reason is "mom stole my college fund. Her mother must be aware what she was saving for, to take that is spite pure and simple. Get a tiny recorder, or leave your laptop or pc audio recorder running in the background, if it has a good mic.

But yeah def record it cause when you call the cops she'll say you gave it to your boyfriend or blew it on music or drugs and she's been fighting with you for months to save up for school. If he's around and doesn't know I'd def play the recording for him, but I woudln't want him around during this discussion, she might deny it in front of him and get suspicious of you wanting to keep talking about it and not discuss it anymore.

Anyone else in your family know about this? Anyone that would be willing to admit knowing about it if the cops showed up? I know that you're 18 and still young, but you can move past this. She keeps triggering you, and she keeps using her holds to make it stronger. You said she turns off the cell phone, so she keeps control of that - like everyone said, go get a prepaid. It might not be the hottest, but I gotta tell you, I felt good with my ten dollar flipper from virgin mobile because it was MINE and no one elses.

Hand in your phone to her with the pro-rated amount of the Start declaring your independence as much as you can - buy your own clothes, food, pencils, cleaning supplies, bath tissue Im so sick of reading stories where the OP lets the nparent get away with all this bullshit! Please stop letting yourself get treated this way, its completely unacceptable! I just get so frustrated because my younger sister would always let my nmom bully her like this stealing her money, making up lies about her, so and so forth and just never did anything about it.

You have proof with your texts and what she did is illegal so stand up and do something about it, please! Fuck every post in this sub sound like i could have posted it. My bro made plans to meet his friends at a mall and that when she decided to fuck with him. Luckily she trusted me and hid it in front of me. I gave him his phone and he was on his way. Idk what you can do but id swat team style go through her shit until you can find your money.

She stole from you. Call them right now. Also do as others have suggested and transfer your cell plan to your own account. This is just disgusting behavior on her part. I agree, get her to admit via text or something that she took it, and call the police. I don't recommend qualifying what the money was for at all. I find it's best to be very black and white with narcs because they twist everything to feed their narc supply.

It is never OK to steal anyone's money, it is illegal. Whatever the owner intends to use it for is irrelevant. There are times when it's OK to steal my daughter's money, like when she is going to use it frivolously. Retrofit an excuse and keep the money. I'd honestly relate the stealing of money to incestual sex on the morality line, if she goes that far. If you read my update it's a new post because it's long you'll see what happened when I told my dad. Long story short, he isn't really helping. And yes he is around, my parents are divorced, but my mom controls everything, including him.

Chances are as you stand up for yourself she will escalate, and try to throw you out. Chances are you have at least 30 days from the time she gives you proper notice, and there are penalties if she does not follow the law. You are a legal adult at 18, despite your mother calling you "a little girl". She stole from you and admitted to it, so she believes you to be weak and guellible, and not able to escalate the issue to defend yourself. Narcs do underestimate their smart and sane children.

It is up to you to make a decision about these money. You can let it be, or report theft to police. In that case, i would make her to admit the stolen amount. Try to text or email her, see if she admits to theft in writing, or it is her word against yours. In the future, use direct deposit to your personal bank account, and if it is not possible, deposit money asap. Just wanted to add that my mother stole about 2k from me as well. When I was 12 or so she opened a bank account and somehow convinced me to put it into both of our names manipulative bitch Well, at 18 I got my inheritance check from my dad and it went into that account for college- along with whatever money I obtained from my summer job.

Once I realized I was missing about 2k, I opened my own account. I confronted her about it, but it didn't much matter - I lived there, she gives me everything I want, I owe her, she didn't take a cent, blah blah blah. Won't make that mistake again. So sorry this happened to you. It's unfortunate when you have to hide money from your own family. Document everything you can, and above all, make sure that she can never get a hold on your wages again, even if it means setting a new bank account.

As for your phone Who the hell is she fooling? Get a new line, that you'll pay by yourself, and then have your current phone number transferred to it. You're an adult, it's time for you to realize it for standing on your ground, and for her to stop her bullshit. This hits very close to home for me. Is there any way that you can just completely get away from her? Can you go away to school, live in the dorms? Is there a relative you can move in with? This BS is just going to continue and escalate even more as you get older and move closer to independence.

It sucks that you are being treated this way and have to spend ANY mental energy on this insanity. She probably will kick you out sooner or later. But at this rate, you'll never be able to accumulate the assets you need. Is there any way you can preempt her and find a way out? When that happened to me and my sibling in the midst of going NC, we hired a family lawyer.

We got documents proving the money was ours and was currently in Nmom's possession. A couple nasty letters later it was mostly handed back. A little bit was missing, her way of having the last word. It was a loss for me because I didn't catch it fast enough and she found a loophole OP, she took my phone constantly, shut it off, read my messages and texted people pretending to be me. She shut it off for a month and a half when I didn't even live with her. Please, think of leaving as soon as graduation hits. I know you're in high school but you need to go away.

You need to be somewhere safe, somewhere with people that love you. That was the only thing that saved me from killing myself.

When adolescents steal from family, emotional damage is done.

Sure, I was 20 when I left, but if I had waited any longer, I wouldn't be here. I went with my boyfriend and I haven't looked back since. You might want to call the police. Get her in email, text, writing, or her voice recorded saying that she's stolen your money. I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry that this is happening to you. There are so many people here for you! Tons of comments here already but, gather your pay stubs as proof that that money is yours, go to the police and tell them your mother stole it and refuses to give it back. Make sure you have the pay stubs or some sort of proof, like receipts from cashing your paychecks.

Get your money back, and then get one of these or something similar and keep it on your person at all times until you gtfo and go to college. Actually, I have a travel security wallet that I have been trying to figure out what to do with because I never ever use it. So if you want it, PM me, I'll mail it to you. Honestly I would have lost my shit if my mother pulled this shit with me. I'm surprised you didn't smack the crap out of her. What an awful person. You're getting downvoted due to the naivety in this sub.

My fear is someone will actually call the cops on their parents and the cops will come, press charges and the other Nparent will say get the fuck out. Believe it or not most parents aren't going to take too kindly to you getting them arrested. I have no words for this, I get really upset when I see someone say "Call the cops". Cops are not helpful EVER for something like this.

Nmom can just go "Look , I'm charging you rent now, deal with it or get the fuck out". OP might have to postpone college, but getting the fuck out of there is something OP should be doing. If the OP is able to and has a job that pays 3x the rent at a new place, and the OP after talking this over with her Nmom comes to the conclusion that's the only option , than maybe she should consider it. It's very hard to make it on your own, and if you fail your Nparent will make you feel even worse. If she does start charging me rent, I won't be able to afford it.

This money is specifically for school. I made a new post with an update about what happened last night, and I actually have a place to go if I need to. My boyfriends parents said I could stay with them as long as I need to. My mom would never kick me out onto the streets. Her mother did that to her, and she always says she doesn't want that to happen to me, and to be honest, I believe her on that part.

Instead of kicking me out, she'll just make my life a living hell and tell me all the time how disappointed she is in me. Phone, I get all mine off e-bay. I'm not fancy, I have an old mytouch that I paid 40 bucks for. But you can get steep discounts on refurb or used phones too, just abut any kind.

And Ebay is good about backing consumers for non working items. Voice record her admitting to stealing your money. Then use that to blackmail her to give it back or just actually call the cops because that is absolutely fucked up. This posts often echo the abuse my mother puts me through.

Anytime I try to think for myself or get independence some type of bad luck happens. I would have gotten aggressive as a guy if this was my dad. Fists would be thrown, this is no game. I know everyone here is telling you to call the police, but after reading your other post in this subreddit, I know you may be against that.

As I understand it, if you make one misstep with your mother, she will kick you out of the house and you will have nowhere to go. But I still believe calling the police on her now is the best thing you can do for yourself. From what it looks like; she will use that power to keep you from ever becoming independent or leaving the house. That needs to stop. Setting boundaries is not something you can keep putting off because your mom will walk all over you. When you do that, she will be livid, and will do one of two things. She could kick you out of the house and disown you, but I think that is unlikely.

I think she will realize you're beginning to assert yourself, and do what she has always done: If that happens, keep setting boundaries. Maybe not all at once, but keep setting boundaries swiftly and firmly. Learn to say no. Tell her you can date who you want to date.

Tell her she cannot ground you. She will either keep trying to keep you in the house and restricting your freedoms, or she will kick you out. Before you call the police on her, be ready for her to kick you out. Get in touch with your friends, other family, redditors in your city, anybody that can offer you a safe place to stay.

If your mother forces you out for good, try as hard as you can to find someone else to stay with. Perhaps you can make a deal where you pay a small rent so you don't have to rent a whole place yourself. And of course, cut contact from your mother. Chances are, if she kicks you out, it's ro make you feel powerless so she can reel you back in.

My Mother Stole $30,000 From Me, and All I Got Was This Stupid Sense of Closure

Don't let that happen. Get out, get on your feet, and don't look back. I hope you can make it out of this alright. And frankly I hope my advice is good. I'm not the wisest or most experienced person on this subreddit. But I firmly believe you need to set your boundaries with your mother now, and calling the police on her is the best way to start that.

I know its your mom but she clearly is a narcissist! She feels entitled to your money and justifies it. Not to mention the way she tries to control you! It sucks because you are young and this is an important time where you may need your mother for help with college and such

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