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Research has shown that people tend to assume that they are being too pushy, even if the person they were speaking to thought otherwise. So for most of us, while we think that being assertive might be make us appear to be aggressive, the odds are that in fact, the opposite is happening. That happens, even though their partner might have never been informed. We all know that effective communication is crucial in a relationship and sometimes, assertiveness is the precursor needed to open the lines between partners in the first place.
If you are assertive, you say no to requests that could otherwise spread you too thin. This in itself, allows you to feel a sense of control back over your life.
Becoming assertive can be likened to the act of a captain, retaking control of his ship. Your actions and behaviours are now controlled by your own wants and needs, not by the opinions and decisions of others. Being aware that you can now make changes to improve your own life circumstances in itself is a massive confidence booster. When you do something, it is because you are truly okay with doing it and that is just part of the normal give and take of any healthy relationship. In my own experiences, the first step to becoming assertive is to reshape your mindset. You need to breakdown any internal barriers and limiting beliefs that are holding you back from an assertive mindset.
Here are a few guidelines to get you on the right track. The first step on your path to stop being a doormat is to establish boundaries.
Boundaries are rules and limitations that we set upon ourselves, to guide the behaviour of others that we deem to be acceptable. The issue with a doormat is that they generally have no boundaries and as such, people walk all over them. Decide what kind of behaviour you deem to be acceptable and from this moment forward, make a commitment to yourself that you will not compromise on them. Assertive people take responsibility for their own problems by understanding that they are the only ones who are able to fix them. Take responsibility for your actions as you are the only one that can have an impact on the outcome.
Be proactive about your life, not reactive to your circumstances. Not unless Professor-X decides to grant us all with the powers of telepathy, no one can read your mind. Never make the assumption that people know your every need.
People who are too passive, or too aggressive share one common characteristic. They both think they are in charge of how other people feel or behave. Passive people think it is their sole responsibility to make everyone else happy, at their expense. Your actions and behavior are the only things that you will have control over.
Leave it to them to decide if they are upset or offended.
Dealing with their emotions is their responsibility, not yours. Suddenly behaving assertively will definitely trigger some reactions. Some of that, might not be so favorable but part of being assertive is to take responsibility for these outcomes. Regardless if they are good or bad, dealing with these consequences is much better than dealing with the consequences of living an anxious, disheartened life.
bahana-line.com: Assertiveness: The Art of Getting Your Way Nicely (Audible Audio Edition): Chris Right, Sam Woodard, AudioLearn: Books. Assertiveness - The Art of Getting Your Way Nicely - Kindle edition by A Wilkie. Religion & Spirituality Kindle eBooks @ bahana-line.com
It takes time, practice and some level of dedication. Some days will be great, others not so much.
You May Also Like Assertiveness requires direct, open, and honest communication between people. Assertiveness is considered an important communication skill that relates to respect for personal rights and boundaries with the intention to establish healthy and lasting relationships. It is time to learn new skills on how to do better. Do you actually want a result from this or are you simply being assertive to express yourself and vent out frustrations? The first step on your path to stop being a doormat is to establish boundaries.
Just be persistent and keep standing up for the things you believe it. Just start with small, low-risk situations.
Call up the store and request a replacement politely. Once you feel comfortable in these small situations, just slowly start turning up the heat, one small step at a time. The best way to practice assertiveness? Just start saying no more often. Is it going to cross your personal boundaries? Is your timetable already full? You can be firm and straight to the point while still being very considerate.
Will some people be disappointed when you say no? You should never have to feel guilty for treating yourself like their equal. No one wants to live a cookie cutter existence.
We all want a life that is fulfilling, exciting, and satisfying. Now is the best time to get excited about your life! It is time to assert yourself and get what you want out of life. This is your life and not a dress rehearsal! It is time to learn new skills on how to do better. It is time to learn how to be more assertive. To learn more and receive a complimentary consultation go to http: Mariano coaches and empowers busy community leaders, non-profit executives and business professionals. His coaching techniques will allow you to reach your goals and create a balanced life.
After an initial intake session, a custom coaching program is designed for each client. To subscribe to his newsletter go to http: Please Register or Login to post new comment. No one has showed us how to live our lives the right way and some of our role models do not have any clue either. Like us, no one taught them. They just relied on what they know on how to do things. Fortunately for us all, not everyone is wandering around oblivious and ignorant about what to do. At last, there is new information available to help everyone learn more and live better. No one wants to live a cookie cutter existence.
We all want a life that is fulfilling, exciting, and satisfying. This report is for you. Now is the best time to get excited about your life!