The Scam Survivors Handbook

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In fact, they're someone you could see yourself spending the rest of your life with. A decent person with a good job or business in search of a good, honest partner to settle down with. You or someone you know may be dating this person online right now. Things aren't what they appear to Read more Romance scam is the newest evolution of the Nigerian advance fee scam. Things aren't what they appear to be. He's hunting through chat rooms, dating sites and social networking sites searching for victims, looking to cash in on romance. If you are over 40, recently divorced, a widow, elderly or disabled then all the better in his eyes.

Scammers are adept at psychological profiling, and use any weakness they find to their advantage. It's the newest evolution of the Nigerian advance fee scam. Instead of sending spam letters that promise millions for your assistance, these scammers are targeting single men and women who are searching for love online.

They use psychological tricks to lure their victims in, use poetry and even gifts to get them under their spell, then once you are there, will try to reach for your wallet, all the time declaring their "undying love" for you. The scam may take the form of asking you to cash a cheque for them through your bank account because they are "out of the country" and unable to cash it themselves, or they may come right out and ask you to send money to help them out of a fabricated "financial difficulty" they claim to be experiencing.

These are all lies used to try to make them easy money from an unsuspecting victim. The sad truth is, for every real profile you see on the internet, there are numerous false ones pretending to be your perfect mate and using photographs stolen from modelling or social networking sites. The people in the photographs are as much victims as the people who get scammed for hundreds, thousands, even tens of thousands of dollars.

In it you'll find advice on how to spot and avoid scammers as well as answers to some of the most commonly asked questions on the romancescam. We'll also show stories told by the members of our forum on how they became the victims of scammers, or "scam survivors" as they prefer to be called. Before we begin, I'd like to explain how I ended up writing this book. Back in I discovered the world of scam baiting. I'd like to think I was a pretty good baiter in my time, that others read my baits and decided to have a try themselves. It would be fun to think that somewhere in the world, even right now someone is talking a scammer into doing something silly on webcam after being influenced by one of my baits.

Within a few months I found myself talking to the people who had been scammed, and a whole new chapter opened up for me. I began to see the damage caused by the scammers. I saw lives ruined, people left penniless and even people on the brink of suicide after being scammed and taken for everything they owned. I've never been scammed myself, and up until this point baiting was a fun hobby that had given me a lot of laughs, but nothing else.

As I began to work with the survivors of scams, I found that most had never heard of romance scammers until they were scammed. There was very little in the media about romance scammers and very little being done to educate people on the way the romance scammers worked. Standard scams were being talked about, but not this variation that not only emptied bank accounts but broke hearts.

Thankfully these days it's being talked about more and more. People are becoming aware of romance scams and the utter devastation it leaves behind. This book is another way to spread the word, along with the internet accounts set up on YouTube and social networking sites by like minded people. All the stories you read in this book will be in the person's own words. Not everyone has English as their first language, so don't expect their stories to be perfectly written. It took a lot of courage for each of them to come forward and admit that they were scammed.

It also takes a great deal of strength to want to be referred to not as a scam victim, but as a scam survivor. To all the scam survivors I would like to say thank you. Thank you and forever stay strong. You are the reason I continue to fight the scammers and you are the reason this book is being written. Thank you to the forum moderators, who do a wonderful job each and every day of helping those that pass through our doors. Also, thank you to Marisa, who created romancescam. Without her tremendous drive and conviction there would be no site, no forum and the scammers would find life a lot less difficult than they do now.

If the advice and stories found here manage to stop one person from being scammed, or make one person feel that they're no longer alone in their situation then their efforts in retelling their stories would all be worth it. This book contains both stories from scam survivors and the answers to the most commonly asked questions on our forum. Let us explain what some of the terms we'll be using throughout the book mean. Not all of these terms apply to every site. Some will use their own variations, but we'll cover as many as possible so you'll understand what's being discussed.

A thrower account is used by scammers to send out their format. A law department in Nigeria that often deals with cybercrimes. EXIF data - The hidden data in photos that you can often find with the right tools. They show when a photo was taken, with what camera, if and when it was altered and with what software. Format and script -The scammers refer to their stories as "formats".

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Everything that victims and other scammers send to them is carefully stored in their drafts folder, be it a letter, a poem, a profile description or chat transcript. Formats are their working tools. The pre-written letters sent by vlads are traditionally called "scripts". The IP address is a part of the headers that will show you the approximate unless you're in law enforcement and able to get the complete information off the internet provider location the email was sent from.

The information shown are the internet provider's contact details and not that of the scammer. This even includes law enforcement. Lad - Scammer from West Africa. Maga is from the Igbo language. A maga is a fool, but a generous one that God has sent the scammer.

They are maga as long as they pay. Maga and 'job' are practically interchangeable except a job might not have paid yet. Once a maga turns accusatory or hostile, or turns out to be a baiter they call us jokers then the maga becomes a mugu, which is a very derisive term and why we also call them mugus. Mugu means "big fool" in the Igbo language Pinay - Scammer from the Philippines. Pinay means "Filipino female" and Pinoy means Filipino male.

Proxy - A proxy server allows you to connect to the internet via a 3rd part, thus hiding your real location. Proxies are the computers used to connect via the server. We cover this in more detail later in the book Trophy - Anything the scammer makes or does specifically for you that takes up their time.

Hunted for by baiters, not relevant to catchers. In fact it's usually easy to tell where the scams are from by the type of scam they are, the photos they use and even the wording in the emails. Let's look at a few.

These are almost always about some poor lady stuck in a refugee camp and desperately trying to get her murdered father's hidden fortune out of the country. They'll give you the supposed pastor's number and you'll often see them describe the weather as "a little cold here in Senegal".

Profile pictures are often of flowers or scenery. A white British engineer who later appears in Malaysia is always a Nigerian scam, especially if the person being targeted is from Asia. Russian scammers use a very automated system to scam. Emails are replied to without even being read a lot of the time. Expect questions to not be answered or a short answer slotted into the email, usually in the middle or end.

These ones profess love very quickly and then need your assistance in helping to pay for them to come visit you. The photos used by these scammers are always models, and there'll always be a translation agency that needs paying. Rare in that these ones are real ladies who will appear on webcam. Typically these ones ask for money for school fees, medicine for themselves or a family member or will even to pay to see you. These will refer to you as their boyfriend rather than husband, which is more typical of the Nigerian scammers. These will constantly ask you to talk to them on IM, and will try to take all your attention every second you're online.

The money requests could be for anything and everything and we really do mean anything, from help to get their fortune out of the country to a request for aid to buy tampons and even on one occasion help in bringing their client back from Mars where he's suffering a ruptured uterus after being anal probed by the Martians! As a general rule, the moment Africa and more specifically West Africa or Nigeria are mentioned, expect the talk to turn sooner rather than later to that of their needing "a little help".

Is their account no longer on the site? They claim to have removed it because they found true love with you and don't need it anymore, but the truth is that the site closed their account down for mass mailing. Do they have their first and last names mixed, such as Smith Michael? Scammers often mix up first and last names. Do they misspell their name, Marry instead of Mary, Scoot instead of Scott and so on? Using "Am" instead of "I am" is a typically West African way of speaking. A huge warning sign if they use photos of Caucasians. Are they vague about the place they claim to live at?

Can they tell you about the place with any kind of detail and without pauses that give them time to search for answers? Do they give an occupation as part of their name, such as Engineer Davies Fred? Do they ask you to appear on webcam, but come up with excuses why they can't appear on webcam. Not the case when they admit from the start to being a West African male. This will be to explain away why they need money sent to Africa. Does their accent sound like the nationality they claim to be? Many will pretend to have a parent from Nigeria and one from another country to try to cover this.

Do they mention a refugee camp in Senegal? Google phrases from their emails and you'll see they use very similar scripts a lot. There's one line that talks about how the weather is "a little cold" in one of the scripts that we see a lot. Does it ever seem like you're not talking to just one person? Scammers often work in groups and you may be talking to 3 or 4 different people all claiming to be the same person.

Do they give you a UK number that starts with or an American number that starts with ? Both are internet "follow me" numbers that can redirect to anywhere in the world. Do they claim to be a soldier, and either ask you for help in bringing cash or an item out of the country, or tell you that they need special equipment to be able to talk to you before giving you the address of the company that can supply the equipment?

Do any phrases from their emails show up on search engines? They often use the same scripted messages to dozens, maybe hundreds of victims, plus scammers will steal each other's "format". They also steal poems from poetry sites and pretend they wrote it. Check the IP address in their emails to see if they show the location they claim to be at, if they're listed as being used with scams or if they're listed as proxies. SD has over , images that have been used by scammers, but not finding it there doesn't mean they're not a scammer. It simply means that photo isn't in its database.

Do they ask for money? Do they ask for you to send it via Western Union or MoneyGram, or to have your bank details so they can send you money? Do they mention basic travel allowance? This is a common trick used by scammers. BTA doesn't exist, and when it did, it wasn't in the form the scammers claim. Are they in the Ukraine and asking for translation fees so they can continue talking to you? These are just basic pointers. Even if none of these apply to you, the moment they ask for money for any reason is the time to walk away.

Walk away and don't even give them a second thought. I was scammed by a Nigerian. No, I had never met him. Even as I write this I replay again in my mind, for what seems like the millionth time, the events leading up to the day my heart completely broke. The day I learned - for certain - that Daniel Smith was not real. I write this for one purpose and one purpose only.

I stand here before you to share my story. I want to pay forward and pass on what I have learned. I am an educated, successful executive. I am attractive, have friends I care about and a son who has brought me more joy that I can ever state. And, I am deeply lonely.

I have been divorced for over a decade. I chose not to date telling myself that parenting had to come first; but that's not the whole truth - I was and am afraid of being vulnerable again, of being hurt until my son was old enough to understand. There are hundreds of men and women who might stand here with me, if they could. But like me, their shame runs deep.

What would their friends say if they truly knew the whole story? What would their children say, or their family? Like me, many choose to live in silence, suffering both broken dreams and financial ruin. I turned to online dating as a way of putting one toe in the water; a baby step toward getting back into the dating game.

All of my married friends encouraged me, and yet they all said the same thing, "I'm so glad I don't have to go through all of that again". I wish I could say that I was just unlucky, that the first man online who caught my attention just happened to be a scammer.

But I will tell you now, that anyone who joins an online dating service as a 'newbie' will, like me, get hit on numerous times by men and men masquerading as women within 24 hours of joining. That's the game played by the scammers. Men and the few women who scam, are relentless in their pursuit of money.

They do not care if you are reaching out to a new relationship because your spouse died. The internet has provided us all a means to learn about potential relationships that we would never have been able to experience otherwise. The internet has also provided predators with yet another way to find prey. Having now spent probably hundreds of hours online as either someone who was being scammed or someone learning about scammers, I have learned that scammers are equal opportunity actors. And, they will go about it any way they can, through any open door. The pursuit of money under the guise of love is not a new one.

Why is this new onslaught of scamming any different? Now, we use our fingers to type. Predators are in every country. They find and prey on the young, the old, the weak and the vulnerable. No matter how smart, no matter how educated, all of us can be prey. Crocodile attacks, shark attacks, all attacks in the wild, are not random. They follow a pattern. Target the weak, the ill and the vulnerable young or old.

There is a natural purpose to both predators and to prey. Understanding these reasons and patterns, we can learn to represent ourselves differently in our world. We can learn how NOT to be perceived as prey. If you are reading this, I pray that you have not yet sent money to someone you have never seen face to face.

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I pray that your heart is not yet broken over the many broken promises made by those who scam. I pray that, if your heart is broken, that you find your own way back home as swiftly as possible. That you heal and live past what happened. Unlike most of you, I learned the real identify of the man who scammed me. After many, many months of gaining his trust, I learned that he is 24 and says he now has a job in a bank. He has friends who had turned to scamming and he decided to do the same to try to make some fast money.

Money that could be used to buy land, help him go to college and even just to buy nice things for himself. I next flash to the moment in that period of time where I was devastated to learn I had been scammed. In my mind I go back to a time where I questioned my own intuition, my own intelligence and my own sanity. How could I have been so fooled?

And the worst part, I lapsed back to a time of indecision. Who should I, who could I, trust, tell, confide in and not be judged? I do not encourage anyone, and I mean anyone, to learn the identity of their scammer. It is so important that this point gets across - scammers prey on men and women who are good hearted individuals. Scammers employ any technique they can to identify, isolate and create a dependency for their victims.

The faster they can have you racing home to your emails or your chats, the closer they are to smelling money. The best ones will take weeks, maybe months, to learn about your local culture and local lingo, and draw you in, creating deeper dependencies. These will go to extraordinary means to gain access to your life, your emotions and your heart.

They are unrelenting and merciless. While I could argue that it is possible that for a moment in time, they may actually step into their acting role and believe their own words of love, they are simply predators. Someday, in a different environment, using different technologies, there will be a way to segregate scammers from the rest. Until then, the more we are educated, the faster we can learn how to stop portraying ourselves as prey. Before I go back to my story, I will briefly share what I have learned in the last 11 months of my education.

I have learned that while there are many scammers in many countries, there is no greater a proliferation of scammers than in Nigeria. Nigeria is a country of extremes. There is great wealth alongside abject poverty. Northern and Southern Nigeria can be viewed as two separate countries, two distinct cultures and histories - the Yoruba tribe mainly in Southern Nigeria, where the early Portuguese traders made a fortune with slave trade and the northern Ibo tribe mainly Islamic and spared the influence of Europe until later in the 19th century.

Even today, tension between the various communities can lead to civil unrest. As late as , over 10, people were killed in fresh outbreaks of fighting. Nigeria continues with a population explosion, putting ever increasing pressure on already taxed resources. Nigeria has cultures, and sub cultures that non Nigerians cannot even comprehend. Nigeria is also host to good, well meaning and well educated people. I apologize in advance to any Nigerian citizens who live 'above the line' with regards to morality and ethics.

It is not my intent to disparage them or the country of Nigeria. I share what I have learned because the learning has caused me to understand that there is a unique complexity within Nigeria that non Nigerians simply have no comparison and as such, no natural defense mechanisms. Nigeria experiences deeply embedded corruption, where bribes are commonplace and a way of life; a feeding ground for those who scam and who are encouraged to scam. In some communities, top notch scammers are both highly educated and respected in the community. They are viewed as 'hero's, who bring balance by re-claiming monies due them, monies that are in the hands of others.

Scamming is a learned skill, taught, sometimes at a very early age. In Nigeria, unless there is money within the family, 'public' education stops at age These children have to learn to fend for themselves. Scamming is one venue that can be taught as a way of life, a way to support oneself, or to support a family. Scamming is organized into groups equal to the Mafia in the United States. It serves as a familial support group where a teenager can start at the bottom and work their way up, learning the business at every junction.

Young teenagers are locked into internet cafes at night, where they work in shifts, sleeping on cots. Smile, wink, email or capture, in any way possible, the attention of individuals looking for love on online dating sites. Once identified, a potential victim may be unknowingly communicating with a composite of a person several scammers, in shifts, over time.

Once money is 'smelled', it's not uncommon to bring in the 'heavy guns', the top scammer with the best command of English, using the best seductive measures. If you have already sent money to a scammer, it is probable that half of it has been spent paying off bribes to those who assisted in the background. Again, I will speak from my personal experience. I fell in love. Looking back on it now, and after having also baited and exposed probably a dozen scammers or so, Daniel was not very good at scamming.

I simply just didn't know there were 'scammers' out there, so I had no context. Let me remind you. I had not dated in over a decade. After I learned his real identify, I was driven to try to learn if he had really lied about everything. Surely, all those sweet words of love were not all lies. You are probably curious as to how he was exposed. I will simply thank Romancescam. Since all moderators at Romancescam. Daniel Smith was living in Houston, Texas and worked independently as a project manager in construction. At the time he introduced himself to me on Match.

We emailed constantly, spent hours on chat and after three weeks, were both extremely excited about his return to Texas. It felt like I was experiencing a living romance novel with myself as the main character. Daniel was concerned about how my friends and family might feel about our age difference 20 years so he asked me to keep our evolving relationship a secret, until he could stand by my side and show everyone how much he adored me. I certainly had nothing to be ashamed of.

During our three weeks, I learned a lot about Daniel but very little about his life in Houston. I learned he had relocated to Houston from Spain six years earlier, had caught his wife cheating with his best friend and had only had one relationship since. His dad had died when he was He had no family in the U. He was vague about describing details about his current assignment and even more vague about the neighborhood where he lived in Houston he preferred to take me there himself when he was back.

Daniel wanted to finally stop traveling and start a family based business. He recognized we had to wait until we met to make sure the chemistry was real, but he was so certain of his feelings that he had already begun to make plans for building this business. He wanted to know if I might be interested in being part of these future plans, that he would explain more once we met.

The day he was to travel, he let me know he needed help. It was too large. He sent me a copy of his check and asked if I could help him by sending him cash via Western Union to pay his part of his hotel bill he had worked it out with hotel management to pay the balance upon his return to the U. We spent three days with my discussing alternatives with him I was reluctant to send money, for all the right reasons. No one could say what he said to me and not have meant it.

Once exposed, he had no remorse, even when he was made aware of my broken heart and my financial devastation. I was given the opportunity to confront him, so I took it. I found that rather than feel a sense of completion, I only felt more betrayed. His lack of compassion, or comprehension of his duplicity, was more than unsettling.

He had done nothing wrong. God had provided a way for him. I was merely the provider. I had never before reflected on the last thoughts of a sacrificial victim of any type of ritual, but his attitude brought this to my mind. I will close my story now with these parting words. If you have doubts about someone you have met online, read the many tips provided by Romancescam. Review your written profile avoid words that may identify you as vulnerable, needy or alone. Once you send money to a scammer, then there's no way to retrieve it. At this point it's worth pointing out another scam that a scammer may approach you with an offer to get your money back for you.

This is called a recovery scam, and here's how it works. The scammer realises that you're no longer going to send money to the character he used to scam you in the first place. It's time to bring another character into play. This one will write to you and claim to be able to get your money back.

Who wouldn't want that, right? After all, it was your money in the first place before it was stolen. They may even make their emails appear to be from these organisations. In this digital age it's easy to fake anything. So they write to you and offer to get your money back, but explain that you will need to pay some small fees. Procedures need to be followed, bribes need to be paid and all this costs money.

Of course there are no bribes to pay, nor are there any procedures to be followed in order to get your money back because the scammer has no intentions of giving your money back and has likely already spent it. All you're doing is giving the scammer more money and throwing good money after bad.

Don't be fooled by anyone claiming to be able to get your money back, especially if they ask you for more money to be able to do it. Really, not a single chance. We can't say this enough. All he's doing is lying to you in order for you to remove his details and prevent others from seeing it. The only way he'd ever send your money back is if he gets another person to send it to you as part of his scam on them. The moment they realise they've been scammed, they have one person's details to take to the authorities. That's right, all he's done is implicate you in the scam of someone else.

Once your money has been sent, then all you can do is accept the fact it's gone and you'll never see it again. Arrests are way too rare and scammers don't suddenly turn over a new leaf and send money back to people. The other stories you need to look out for as well are "Well I WAS trying to scam you originally, but after a while I genuinely fell in love with you and want to be with you" or "I'm only doing this to try to survive in this terrible country. If I didn't do this then I'd starve".

Let's look at this with objective eyes. He's paying to spend hours in an internet cafe, which is far from cheap, likely has a phone so he can talk to you and he claims he's starving. Really, do you believe that? Once you realise he's a scammer, treat everything he's ever said to you and ever will say to you as lies solely for the purpose of trying to part you from your money. All his threats are nothing but empty words. He's not going to hunt you down. He's not going to fly to your country.

He's not even going to leave the safety and anonymity of his internet cafe. He may make a few threatening phone calls to you, but once he realises he's not getting anywhere then he'll give up and move on to his next "meal ticket" rather than waste even more of his time on you knowing that there's no way you'll send any more money.

Scammer threats are all bark and no bite. We have known instances where scammers have attempted to post up compromising photos sent to them by victims, but any decent site worth its salt will remove them as soon as they're spotted. Here we include a recent conversation from the romancescam. Post by digitalove on Sun May 30, 1: I think i'm in deep trouble.

I thought this game is over, apparently not! The investigation team sent me an email with a video of me. I'm devastated and panicked when i read the email I called him, asking him to tell his friend to stop. But he played dumb. I even told him that i knew he's in malaysia and i know his address. For a while, he was quiet. And he asked me "then who am i?

Do you know who i really am? If you know then why did you love me? He wouldn't listen even if i told him that i don't want my money back.

The Scam Survivors Handbook

I just want this to end. I was pissed off, that i told him "oh, i have an idea. Maybe i should just call the police in malaysia and report this". Then the phone hunged up coz i have no credits left. But i sent him an email, telling him to stop this as my last request, and i won't bother them anymore What should i do now??? I think i just made my life more miserable really need your help and advice now I don't have much time, coz they only give me 24 hours to respond. Post by Pinky on Sun May 30, 2: They are and will continue to make threats because you are responding.

Read with your email provider how to block their emails. Don't answer their phone calls. Change email addresses and even phone numbers if you must. Don't tell them what you know either! I promise you they will go away. They won't post anything on you. It will leave a digital trail that could lead police to them and there's nowhere for them to post porn if that's what they have that anyone you care about would see anyway. Besides, anything posted without your permission must and will be removed by the web host upon your request.

Recently a member here had her pictures posted by her scammer, who claimed she was the scammer. Truth was on her side and her pics were pulled immediately. This will all go away soon if you let it. Post by digitalove on Sun May 30, 2: You have been declared member of triads underworld of online private shows and we have prove of your operations, pictures and videos that was captured by our devices and we would spread your whole news to all countries in Asia, Europe and America. We have set up a group police and FBI squad that would hunt you down for the rest of your life if you do not cooperate with us.

Failure to meet up with our demands, we would start doing the followings: We would put you on the FBI and Interpol watch and track list. We would advertise you on every Indonesian online network. We would advertise your mode of operation to YouTube Indonesia. We would make sure you can't travel overseas to any part of Indonesia or outside Indonesia. We would make sure you don't get any international work or task.

We would post your mode of operations to all companies and factories all over Indonesia and Asia. However we are enclosing a copy of your activities that was captured by one of our devices so you could see for your self. Therefore, you have been given an automaton of 24hours to comply before we start sending your information of killing your reputations and life to the world. Information on how to remit funds would be provided to you by our Network Department Office, Texas United State of America shortly after your feed back.

Cracking Crime i'm using yahoo email to correspond with them. There is absolutely no way any legitimate national or international law enforcement agency would take anything coming from a notoriously abused and misused IP address, from known criminals, posing as Americans, using atrocious English grammar and spouting utter nonsense, seriously!

Post by digitalove on Sun May 30, 4: Some people see a death threat as nothing but the proof they rattled the scammer's cage. Some even actively attempt to receive them. Check out this example. Post by duckhunter on Mon Oct 04, 8: We have a section of our forum called "Mugu says Here are some examples. I KNOW this man and he is a fine outstanding person!! Why would ANY of you come on here and try to make him look bad!!

He is of good character and a wonderful man! Please tell me where do you get your information from?? You owe it to him to tell where you get your informaion from!! I would trust this man with my life and am trusting him with my spiritual matters as well becuz he is a GOOD, God fearing man of excellant leadership!! Are you someone who is jealous and hateful trying to hurt a good honorable person such as i know him to be?? He is a man of integrity and a good soul. Be ashamed of yourselves for doing this to my wonderful darling Johnson!!

He has more quality in his little finger than you have in your entire persona!! How dare you try to bring shame to one of Americas finest, bravest men??? You are dispicable to the uttmost and truely in league with the advisary.!! What a wretched spirit you must have!! My words cannot say enough good things about my fiancee and also I cannot use the words it would take to tell the one that put this lie on here how wretched you are for doing this!! You haven't seen anything yet I am ME and can get anyone I want I am coming for you and you will so wish for a faster death Hi, it's me Irina All of you crazy here!

About what money you speak here? What people have gone in this world. It was quite insolent. Who said that I scammer? Do not believe them, they just intrigue me. The forum staff are all still alive, well and not in prison despite dozens of threats between us. We all have our "death threat" stories to tell and laugh about.

There's even a great 5 minute video of death threats all from the same scammer. You can find it at http: He was so very, very sweet and loving and the most romantic man I had ever met in my entire life and he always seemed so concerned about me and even sent me flowers to my office on my birthday on July 8, - when they were delivered there were 2 beautiful arraingements - not just he was online with me that day because he was so concerned that they told him they had been delivered but I had not received them yet He told me several times a day how much he loved me and could not ever imagine not having me be a part of his life for even 1 day I have never had any children so the thought of having a 5 year old daughter was going to be very challenging for me but I thought I would be able to handle it with Eric's support.

I have wired him money 5 times and the last time was just recently on September 7, - I had been laid off from my job at Macy's Headquarters here in Mpls, MN for 2 years after they closed this Northern Division Headquarters and my job along with all Buyers total of people were laid off went to New York and was combined with Macy's East Division. I have had a lot of financial issues since then and am working part time now but not making much money I am so heart broken and sad now and I just do not even want to go on living without Eric in my life I still love him so much and I have not been able to eat or sleep since I found out about this scam on this site Scam survivors are usually guilty of nothing more than being naive in the ways scammers work and too trusting of people.

A lot are well educated, have good jobs and are kind hearted. The scammers rely on this. Unlike the traditional scams, there's often no monetary gain to be had by sending the money. The gesture is nothing more than one person wanting to help another out of a bad situation they claim to have found themselves in. It's the same with the charity scammers. They rely on the giving nature of others in order to steal from them.

In most cases, the only thing the survivors expect back are love and affection. If that makes them stupid, then the rest of the world is stupid along with them. Get the notion of being "stupid" out of your head. You were scammed not because you're a stupid person, but because the scammer exploited the fact you're a good natured person. Scammers usually operate from internet cafes, using fake identities and anonymous cell phone numbers. This means that it would be impossible to prove that the person was at that particular computer at that exact time sending out the emails. They have to be caught in the act for any kind of legal action to be taken.

Like all online criminals, they can hide extremely well. They often live in corrupt societies who do little to stop crime and often glorify those that do well from scamming. You can and should file a police report however. Be aware that our local police forces have no jurisdiction in other continents, but they will keep a record of the crimes on file. I have been scammed twice in and posted my story somewhere on the forum, on my both scammers sections. Sorry, actually can't remember the name of my second scammer on the forum he pretended to be Jeff Davidson, but the Jeff Davidson in here is another guy , the first one was called Bryan Lionel.

Since September , Bryan tried several times to contact me, but got not news anymore since I blocked him on Yahoo. His so called best friend Mark tried once to ask me money there are few months ago, but I never replied. Except my scammers, I've got some other men who wanted to meet me and ignored me, but they never asked me for money. I met one guy from my town in the begin of this year, but he ignored me the day after.

I'm still in a very good mood, still smiley and have fully accepted my life, nobody or nothing could make think to people that I'm not really well. I understood that myself in the Summer. In fact, I've a lot of desires for my future, I've a lot of things to do at home, but don't have the energy or the thing I need to do it. We could think that I'm lazy - well, I'm lazy a little bit, I've to confess - but the problem is deeper than that.

I talked with some people around me and they all said that I'm in a depress time, even if we can't see it. I still have some financial problems actually someone paid a part of my trip to the States , that not really help me to be honest with you. Some friends still tell me that I was stupid because I gave money to my scammers, what add again some difficulties for my psychic health. I still put myself down when I think of men - I still say that never a man will love me, as that never happened in my life. I've also noticed that I can't watch men as before to 'meet' my scammers and the other ones.

Before that, I was easily attracted by men, wanted absolutely to be loved, to be cuddled or hugged by men but never had something , but not now anymore. Just to think of that, that would make me run away from men. I've some friends among men, but couldn't imagine one seconde of something more, I don't want something more, that scare me to meet a bad man. I'm on Myspace since July, got a lot of men who tried to get in touch with me by telling that I'm beautiful, etc, but I simply delete their message and never reply them.

Well, all this to say that actually, I'm very happy to be single and have no man in my life. I still have the feeling that I'm the only one to have those psychologic difficulties, cause of those scammers. I know I'll be fully healed one day, but actually, my apartment isn't really cleaned, I'm into pain because I haven't the energy to take my medicine, etc Well, that's still a hard time even if was much better than I think we all need a lot of time to fully recover after been scammed, that's not so easy to trust someone after a so bad experience.

Remember that these people come from a culture steeped in many years of believing scamming is a good thing, even that God is blessing them by giving them a well paying "maga". Telling them they should stop isn't going to make them stop. All it will do is make them tell you they've stopped as they carry on scamming others and hoping to eventually persuade you to help them "keep on the straight and narrow with a little financial help" if they keep telling you what you want to hear.

Seven years ago, I received a call from my best friend, I was living in Seattle at the time and he was back East, but we talked several times a month. He was like my brother, I have known him since I was nine, so we always stayed close. He started to ask me about Russia, and how he met a woman there via Internet and was making plans to visit her there in the fall, and since I have been there could I tell him how to make arrangements.

We talk for a while about Russia and our annual Sailing trip we had coming up, and how He would tell me more about this woman over a cold beer during our trip. We said our Goodbyes and hung up. Looking back that was the defining moment of my last five years.

During our trip, he showed me pictures and talk about how much he could not wait to Visit her that fall, how she talked about marriage and moving here with him. He seemed Very happy and I was happy for him and wished him all my best. The months following his visit to Russia, he was very distant to me and even cancelled our vacation that year.

I knew he was spending a lot of money with lawyers and paper work to bring her here. I did not know about all the red tape you have to go through at the time, and it was none of my business so I just told him to keep in touch and let me know what was going on. Over the next year or so, he worked on getting everything in order, and even went to Russia again to visit her. He called me in the fall of the following year and asks me to be his best man. We talk about dates and my work schedule, so I could fly home for the wedding and about how glad he was it was almost over, and to be honest so was I Even though I was four thousand miles away, I was getting tired of listening to All the problems he had to get her here.

About six weeks later he calls me and Tells me they were putting off wedding do to her father being sick. And her not being Able to arrived on set date, I told him just let me know when everything was worked out and do not worry. The next few months are a blur to me, It seemed when we talked it was always something Keeping her from coming here, I was supportive like any good friend, but I had my own problems and deadlines at work, so I never really thought too much about it.

Time went on and it seems to be the same old story. Then I received a call from him saying she was coming the following week, I was happy for him, told him when they set date let me know, He said he would keep me informed and how he could not wait for me to meet her. I tried calling him the following week but got his machine, I thought they were just getting to know each other and he was busy with her showing her around and doing all things that two people in love do, and he would call when the newness wore off and He had time.

I received a call one evening from a voice I had not heard from for a long time it was My friends Grandmother, She told me that he had killed himself. He had no sibling, and was raised by his grandmother, she told me I was named, as the executor of his will, and asked me what I wanted to do. My heart sank, I felt sick, but I made plans to go home And make the necessary arrangements, or at least understand why he would do this When he was so happy the last time, we talked. After the funeral, I started to go through All that was needed to settle his estate.

Which anyone who has been there knows is a very big pain in the butt; I started seeing bills and WU Receipts, everything was pointing to his future wife. Over the next couple of months of going over his assets, computer files, And bills. Losing his house, and behind in his car payments. Credit cards were at limit. He was in a financial mess. I thought where was the woman who was supposed to be here. I started reading letters and going through his computer and everything became known over the next couple of months that she had no intention of Marrying him.

She not only put off coming to him twice but also left him at airport twice. Overall, from what I could gather, and prove, he had given her well over thirty Thousand dollars in a little over two years. Not including the fees, it took to arrange to bring her here. Whether it was a broken heart or the fact he was broke, I lost my Brother That night and no money in this world could replace that.

The Scam Survivors' Handbook

Over the next few months, I started my own relationship with this Gold Digger using her info I had and as the story goes, she was everything I thought she was, and as I later found out had three people she was going to marry at the same time she was with my Friend. Her name was Uporova Victorovna She said she was from Kazan but I found it was a moscow address as for the pics and emails I wish I had known of this place It has been so long I have long since deleted..

But I met her and saw her face to face.. After I figured out everything about her, I needed to know for sure if it was true about her. Or just my anger and pain from my loss Therefore, I took the info I had open a paid account where he found her at, started to e-mail her.

We started to talk and she was very open and sweet. Very personal and warm written letters, after a week or so she wanted me to call her, so I did, then we would talk on ICQ while she was at work. She asked me if I had a cam and we did that. This went on for about a month before she told me she loved me. I was sick to my stomach. She never asked for money, until I brought up being in Russia.

If I can remember, it was just a few days after I told her she said it would cost her dollars for trip to Moscow from Kazan to see me when I arrived. Time went on and we continued this so-called relationship. She asked me for money several times during the next month or so before my trip.

I told her I will send her the to come visit me, but until we met I would not sent her more. She agreed kindly and was very excited about our meeting. The night we met was very scary for me. I felt like I was in High school getting ready for a big football again. I did not know if she would show, if I was out bucks, but I really did not care about the money. She was going to meet me in Hotel Lounge. Therefore, I went down early, had a few drinks, and waited. Then I saw her walk in. I was very impressed and if I did not know better would have fallen in love also, she was very elegant, and looked better then her pics.

She had perfect English a lot better then the phone conversations we had. Which later made me think?

It was not her on phone. Nevertheless, as we had drinks and talked, I started to tell her about my friend who fell in love with Russian woman and was going to get married, she was very focused on my story, and smiled a lot, Grab my hand, listen to my every word. I finished my story as I told all of you. But just a basic version Told her that he had all the arrangements to bring her to America, took care of her in Russia, and she left him, Told her about his death.

I knowing she did not know the man she said she loved a couple years back really did. She was very sadden, said she knew now why I was so shy about her, and her love. However, told me to look I am here right here with you. I will never forget those words She said as long as I live. I looked at her, Reached in to my Suit Pocket and handed her a Envelope. She smiled and her eyes sparkled, I think she thought it was giving her money As she opened it, I will never forget the look in her face. There were two Pictures in that Envelope, One of my friend and her in Moscow, and one of his gravestone, along with a request for Visa paper with there names on it.

I sat there for a few. Starring at her face, I then stood up and went to the bar area where my co-workers were. She sat there for about a minute and walked out. I want everyone to know who reads this.

That I have put this story to help people So they will not fall into the same thing as my Friend did. I would like to say thanks for reading I posted it to help people, as for wanting revenge!! It was more then wanting to hurt her, She was a professional Dater, and deceived, my friend Yes I was angry, hurt, I just wanted her to know, her to feel, one moment of my hurt. I saw in her eyes what I needed to see, after several Kalinkins Russian Beer I was at peace with myself.

I do not think it hit home with her at all, she just got caught.. For every one person trying to fight them, there are likely dozens or even hundreds of scammers and the problem is only getting worse. We're seeing new areas popping up as scammer black spots all the time. The most recent one is Malaysia, where West Africans travel arrive on student visas and run internet scams instead of ever setting foot in a classroom. We know that the best offence is a good defence, and that involves making as many people aware of the scammers and how they work as possible. It's why we use sites like MySpace, FaceBook, Youtube as well as our own site, plus online radio shows and indeed this book you're reading right now to teach people about the scammers.

Whenever we're contacted by the media for help we do all we can to give them what they need. One mention on a TV show or article in a newspaper will reach more people and cause more damage to the scammers than spending time and energy trying to get a single scammer arrested ever could. A lot of the people on the site are also baiters, but we'll discuss baiting later on in the book.

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